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DJ Chino

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Camera fades in on a large warehouse outside of Battle Creek, Michigan. Inside is DJ Chino, chatting with his mentor Rob Van Dam.

 

DJ: Again, Rob, I can't thank you enough for taking me on and helping with my training.

 

RVD: I wasn't the first person you came to was I?

 

DJ: Honestly? No... I tried to work on my own after my OCW contract was up. TNA offered me a spot after I won this battle royale in Mexico but I was oerweight, bloated and just generally nasty.

 

RVD: What happened to you? How did you let yourself go like that?

 

DJ: I just didn't care anymore. I just stuffed myself silly with whatever junk food I could find. You know, before I was just able to eat whatever I could, ceeseburger here, bag of doritos there. It didnt get any near as bad until I caught her.

 

RVD: Who? Hazel? I thought you guys resolved that?

 

DJ: Yeah, until I found out she was lying to my face. Not only that. But I caught her with another woman!

 

RVD Pauses for a moment

 

RVD:.......AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You mean to tell me she went lez?

 

RVD falls to the floor laughing

 

DJ isn't amused

 

DJ: Yeah.....pretty much. I mean it was like really bad how red-handed I caught them.

 

RVD wipes the tears from his eyes.

 

RVD: Oh man, I havent laughed like that in a LONG time. Im sorry, go on.

 

DJ: Well. **Sigh** I cam home one day and there she was getting pounded...like PLOWED, from someone with big muscles and short hair. I thought it was a dude until I walked in and saw a pair of big muscle-y tits...you know....mus-tits? And a strap-on.

 

RVD: Wow. What happened then?

 

DJ: Well. She was all sorry and apologetic but I didn't want to hear any of it. I knew she was full of crap anyway. But then things got weird.

 

RVD: How could it possibly get any weirder than that?

 

DJ: Well, Marty and I closed down the gym. After our match at Lution with Shawman we more or less started to wind down our career. The match was a sign that we just weren't crowd favorites anymore. Not only that but I think that match got worst match of the year 2008. Our technique was off, we just couldn't do our job anymore.

 

RVD: Mhmm.

 

DJ: I stayed on for some matches, you know, I tagged with CJ Hoppus once which was something I wanted to do for years and I got destroyed by Bold and Cross respectively and I lost a battle royal. I was out of my goove. Marty retired outright. I havent heard from Shawman since. But about a month after I ended things with Hazel I started getting weir phone calls, emails, texts and all that crap from her...basically she started getting psycho. She hacked all my accounts, deleted all he could. Destroyed my reputation AND she actually burned down the gym.

 

RVD: What?!

 

DJ: Yeah. I know it was her even though OF COURSE there was no evidence. She disappeared afterwards. I havent heard from her.

 

RVD: I heard you've been to Russia for some reason.

 

DJ: Yeahhhh. I got married.

 

RVD:WHAAT?!

 

DJ: It's a long story.

 

RVD: We--

 

Suddenly theres a bangng on the doors.

 

???: ROB OPEN THE DOORS. I LOST MY KEY!

 

RVD: Oh crap, I thought he was stil in Barcelona.

 

DJ: Who?

 

RVD: Heh, it's time for your next trial my friend.

 

DJ: What trial? We goin to court? Who is that?!

 

Rob opens the door and

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z36/almightyray/warrior.jpg

 

 

 

The Ultimate Warrior is standing there. Enraged.

 

Warrior: RUAAARGH! WHATS HE DOING HERE?! NO ONE KNOWS IM HERE! RAAAUAUAGAHRGH!

 

Warrior bolts towards DJ Chino at full speed dropping his bags at the door.

 

DJ: HOLY SH--

 

DJ ducks Warrior and runs toward the gym area

 

Warrior: GET BACK HERE!

 

DJ: ROOOB! HELP!

 

RVD: Part of the trials, dude. Can't help you here.

 

DJ: Aw hell.

 

DJ slides into the ring as warrior runs aroud the outside cutting him off.

 

DJ: Jesus he's fast!

 

Warrior climbs the ring apron as he growls.

Chino tries to climb the ropes to jump over him but Warrior shakes them in an epileptic fit and makes Chino fall to the ground.

Warrior tries to splash onto Chino from the apron but DJ rolls away. Chino grabs a chair from under the ring, as Warrior gets up Chino comes flying in and Shotgun Dropkicks the chair into Warriors face. Warrior flies back and rolls in pain.

 

Warrior: Eeeggggh.

 

RVD: Congrats Dude! You passed!

 

DJ: **Breathing heavily** You...people...are out....of your minds...

 

RVD: Welcome to training. Help me pick this guy up so we can get him some ice.

 

DJ hesitates.

 

RVD: He'll be good now. I promise, I just gotta get him a Slim Jim.

 

DJ: Im not gonna ask.

 

DJ helps RVD pick up Warrior. They drag him to the back as the camera fades out.

 

 

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RVD:.......AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You mean to tell me she went lez?

 

RVD falls to the floor laughing

 

DJ isn't amused

 

DJ: Yeah.....pretty much. I mean it was like really bad how red-handed I caught them.

 

 

AH, HA ! I knew it all along ! I thought it seemed awfully FISHY (Get it ?!? Huh ?!? Huh ?!? 'Fishy' ?!? Yes, yes, i know. Even i amuse myself at times !) all those times that she offered to 'Wash my back' in the showers !

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