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D-Jack's Time In Prison

David Jackson

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*The camera fades in and we see Jim Black and David Jackson sitting in two adjacent chairs from each other. Jim is in his Sunday best while David is back in his normal pirate attire, well, normal for him. They are chatting away, apparently catching up on lost time. Jim has just received the cue to start and he turns towards the camera.*


Black: Hello everyone and I hope you are having a good Sunday. To all the fathers who are watching this, Happy Father's Day! For those of you who don't know, I am Jim Black and my guest at this time is David Jackson (D-Jack gives a quick wave). Today, we are going to be discussing what David has been up to during his time away from OCW. I know we were suppose to have this interview on Friday, but technical difficulties beyond our control prevented us from doing just that. (Turns towards D-Jack) Prison? Really? I expected that from Jack Sparrow or even Chris Baxter for his rum habits, but you? What did you do?


Jackson: (With a straight face) I stole the Interceptor from the King's Royal Navy and Chris's entire shipment of rum (grins). Besides mate, maybe I just have that 'I'm guilty' look on my face. (Stops grinning) Actually, I was blamed from something I couldn't have done. The night in question was April 22nd, 2011.


Black: What were you blamed for that you couldn't have done?


Jackson: Stealing several Ming dynasty vases, valued at thousands of dollars a piece, from some rich guy living in Georgetown, South Carolina. I couldn't have done it because I was at home in Alabama fixing a few of my arcade cabinets that shorted out from the heavy storms we were having at that time. I get a knock on the door and it is the Hoover Police Department with orders to transport me to Georgetown for questioning. They read me my Miranda Rights and put me in the back of their squad car. I was off to Georgetown, South Carolina.


Black: (Raises his eyebrow) Didn't you produce this alibi to the cops who arrested you?


Jackson: (Sighs) I tried to tell them that, but they said that they were merely picking me up at my house and delivering me to the Georgetown Police Station. Pleading my case with them was not going to help me. On the way there, I called my brother and asked him to take care of my cat, dog, and make sure my house didn't implode. Also, he was welcome to the fridge and deep freeze. I had no idea how long I would be and I didn't want that food to spoil.


Black: What happened when you got to the Georgetown Police Station?


Jackson: I was read my Miranda Rights again and put in a interrogation room. They let me sit in the room for a few hours by myself to "sweat" me, but it didn't work.


Black: (With a questioning look) Why did sweating you not work?


Jackson: The whole time they were gone, I was reciting my favorite TV shows in my head. Hogan's Heroes, Castle, Stargate SG-1, White Collar, etc. When they came in, they saw me smiling after I recalled a Chuck Norris joke.


Black: (Chuckles) What joke was that?


Jackson: Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.


Black: (Laughs) Ok (takes a few breaths and stops laughing) what kind of questions did they ask you?


Jackson: Where was I on the night of April 22nd, can anyone provide me with an alibi, the usual line of questions. They also made copies of my fingerprints, mug shot, and measurements.


Black: What did you tell them you were doing?


Jackson: I was at home enjoying my recliner and my tool set as I was fixing my arcade cabinets like I said earlier.


Black: Was there any video that implicated you as the thief?


Jackson: (Nods) A home security video actually. That thing had no zoom and the thief wore my exact attire from Resolution 6. It cost a good bit of cash to make, but it's not impossible for people to buy. I sell replicas of my attires at my businesses website, D-JacksHouseOfPain.com I asked them if they recovered any fingerprints and they said they didn't need any. It was a open and shut case and I was going to jail. I asked them if they wanted they knew about me selling replica attires on my website and they said it was irrelevant. I told them that they were lazy officers and they hauled me to prison where I stay for almost two months.


Black: (Shakes his head) Just goes to show you that there are bad seeds everywhere, even in law enforcement. Wait, it just occurred to me. Wreslution 6 was held just 5 days before April 22nd. How did the thief get the attire so fast?


Jackson: After my match on Wrestlution, it went up for sell on the website and we have overnight shipping options available.


Black: What was your situation like during those two months?


Jackson: (Thinks for a second) I was by myself for my time there, no cell mate. I had the option of bail, but I had nowhere to go in Georgetown. I worked out when I could, signed a few autographs because fans are everywhere, read every Sherlock Holmes novel multiple times at the prison library, and anything else I could to pass the time. Oh yes, I almost forgot. I also had a few cavity searches from the guards saying they had evidence I had drugs on me. They found nothing each time and it did not tickle.


Black: Have any boyfriends while you were there?


Jackson: (Sits back in his chair) I stand corrected, almost anything else.


Black: After your time in prison, what made them arrive in your cell one day to release you?


Jackson: They found the guy trying to rob another house and when we walked out with the stuff, a cop car happened to patrol by. They arrested him and he confessed to the crime at both houses. The police then searched his house and found a replica of the attire I described to you earlier. They compared it to the footage of my supposed thieving and it matched. I was released with the charges dropped and a apology letter from the governor of South Carolina, Nikki Hailey. I went straight home, loved on my cat Sunny and my dog Henry the VIII, and collapsed on my nice, comfy, bed.


Black: (Relieved) When you showed back up in OCW on Riot, you looked out of place with that jumpsuit on. Also, before you started rolling, you told me that you had an announcement concerning your career?


Jackson: Yes I did say that. My pirate days are over. When next you see me, you may not even recognize me. I had this debate long and hard with myself while I was in prison. I decide this change of direction earlier today. That's all I have to say on the subject.


Black: (Shocked look on his face) Thank you for your time D-Jack and that bombshell...I...I didn't see that coming. (Both men shake hands and the camera focuses on Jim) What does this mean for D-Jack's career? Will he be a different person without the pirate gear? How will the OCW fans react? All these questions and more will be answered in the coming days. Till then, this is a sad Jim Black signing off.


*The camera fades out*

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Theft? This nigga in jail for stuffing dead women in his freezer.
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