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Berg Back in Buisness

Iceberg LeTuce

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*The scene opens in the office of Iceberg Le’Tuce in the ‘Pussy Palace massage and happy ending emporium’. Le’Tuce is sitting at his desk while Eva lounges on the sofa, watching TV. There is a knock at the door.


Bouncer: “Mr Le’Tuce, a man is here to see you, he says he’s with the OCW reporting staff.”


Le’Tuce: “Jim Black? Yeah I sent for him, let him in, braugh.”


Bouncer: “No, sir. This man is….well….filthy. I’m not sure who he is.”


Le’Tuce: “Urgh, can’t get the staff these days. Send him in.”


*OCW reporter Matt Lemonicka stumbles through the door with a rather nervous looking cameraman*



Le’Tuce: “Lemonicka? What the hell? I requested Jim, braugh. What are you doing in here anyway, you stink.”


Lemonicka: “Haha I need the work man! I never get called into action anymore and I felt it was time to, you know, get stuck in!!! But I must say, you’re staff have very rude policies on clothing.”


Le’Tuce: “Yeah braugh, but look at you. Grey shirt, old ripped tie…and what’s that on your feet?”


Lemonicka: “Garbage bags….”


Le’Tuce: “Have you painted the Nike tick on there?”


Lemonicka: “Maybe…..but enough about me, we‘re here to talk about you! How did you get Eva back? What are your plans?”


Le’Tuce: “Well, Eva came on a little strong, and her captors where a little taken aback. You know how it is, some guys just can’t handle a little rough play.”


Le’Tuce: “As for plans, who knows! I will make a little speech at Riot this week and show the OCW fans that you can’t bury the Berg!”


Lemonicka: “Well that’s just sensational! This is Matt Lemonicka…signing out!!”


Lemonicka: “Just between you and me, Toosay ol’ pal. Can you throw some more of those shrimp puffs in the trash? They are just devine!”


Le’Tuce: “Please, just leave, before you wake Eva up. She needs to recharge after Mr Mumford has paid a visit.”



*The scene fades with Matt Lemonicka stealing some pens of Le’Tuce’s desk and running.*

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