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Losing It, All Of It.

Useless Dane Xavier

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The lights pop on in a bathroom with a golden sink, a golden toilet, and a large shower with golden trim. Dane Xavier is seen in the reflection of the mirror as he walks up to the mirror and looks at himself in it. He is wearing a white bathrobe and seems to have calmed, if at least a little bit, from his nightmare on Asylum.


Dane $ Xavier: No Rogaine for a week? Yeah, I'll show him.


Dane opens his medicine cabinet and a look of concern comes over his face. He frantically pushes a few things aside, knocking a few things out. He begins opening his cabinets and searching through them. A piece of paper falls from the medicine cabinet as his blows through the bathroom. He sees it out of the corner of his eye, picks it up, and unfolds it. He begins reading.




Greetings from I-wont-tell-you-where, Hairline,


If you're reading THIS letter, then your hair is probably falling out of your head and you're probably pretty panicked about not being able to find your precious Rogaine! What did I tell you Dane? No Rogaine for a week!


I knew you would defy my ruling and try to put that crap on your disgusting scalp to keep your stress from showing your true hairline, so I covered all my bases and raided all 12 of your houses, your limo, and all 36 of your cars, and the amount of Rogaine I found was sickening!


So since you found this letter because you were looking for your hair restoration product, let's make it two weeks of no Rogaine!


Lord Shark sends his regards!


Mr. Sensation




Dane furiously tears the letter up and throws the pieces in the air and they all rain down like the money that falls in his entrance video. He storms out of his bathroom and through his bedroom, grabbing his wallet and his Golden Fist off his dresser. He proceeds out of his bedroom, down the winding steps, and pushes the call button on the wall.

Dane $ Xavier: Sam, ready the limo!

Dane bursts through his front door, still donning a white bathrobe and bedroom shoes. His limo peels up and he hurriedly opens the door and enters, slamming the door. The camera now transitions inside the limo.


Dane $ Xavier: Take me to the nearest drugstore!


The limo takes off and the camera fades.


*15 minutes later.*


The limo pulls up to a local CVS and Dane quickly exits the limo, marching into the store. Dane walks past a few aisles before going down one. He grabs two armfuls of Rogaine and marches to the front counter and drops all of the Rogaine bottles on it. The clerk looks at Dane in confusion before scanning and bagging the product.

Clerk: $254.72 sir.


Dane reaches into his bathrobe pocket and pulls out his wallet. He hands the clerk his credit card and the clerk looks at it.


Clerk: Oh... you're Dane Xavier.

Dane $ Xavier: Yeah? So? Just ring me up!


Clerk: I was told not to sell you any Rogaine by your boss, Mr. Sensation.


Dane $ Xavier: WHAT??


The clerk pulls a piece of paper from under the counter and hands it to Dane.


Clerk: He also asked me to give you this note.


Dane snatches the note from the clerks hand, unfolds it, and reads the second letter in this segment.




Hello yet again douche bag,


If you're reading this letter that was delivered to every clerk at every drugstore in every single part of the world, then shame on you! You continue to disobey my orders and for that your punishment is extended.


Three weeks, no Rogaine!


Lord Shark now says to SUCK IT!


Mr. Sensation




Dane crumples up the letter and throws it at the clerk before taking the clerk's collar in his hand.

Dane $ Xavier: You... I... What... Uh... GODDAMIT!

Dane reaches into his other bathrobe pocket, pulls out his Golden Fist of brass knuckles, slips them onto his left hand, and takes yet another victim to unconscious city. Dane storms out of the CVS and into his limo, slamming the door yet again.


Dane $ Xavier: Take me to the mall, I need a hat of some sort!


The limo peels off and disappears into the receding sun.

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Good promo.. Least you arent like that faggot cunt trevor, and can actually take a joke, and rib yourself.
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Dane Xavier: cyber bullying is not only illegal, it's pathetic




"I swear to go if you call me a Liberal again you RETHUGLICAN, SEE WHAT I DID THERE.


This is america, if you want to throw your hard earned sweat money on a videogame gambling site and thus deny you and your family food and shelter THAN BY GOD DAMMIT YOU CAN, BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA YOU COMMIE SOCIALIST.



Now then when Can I expect your next donation?


"- Jay Jay




Double A


"The Weapon




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For an ADDITIONAL week!

Welcome to OCW, keep tough skin, speak your mind, and most of all have fun.-Betterness

"I'm going to be brutally honest here guys... all we really need for a good Riot is a few RP's from Our Hero himself... he's an awesome writer!!!" - Smythe

CCWJustinTime: just funny how the shit i do goes un appreciative

[10-01, 00:19] Jookie Marley: fuck u nigga

[09-01, 23:50] Mr.Bentley: uploadafraud.com

[09-01, 23:45] Jookie Marley: what website do we use 2 upload now?

"Summercide was 2 white girls away from being a cook out" - Cyberbully 2099

" makes me laugh how its gone from all ambition era holding the titles, to 3 guys from 07 holding the main titles..haha

welcome to the 'Pensioner Era' - Parker

"This is all part of my plan to equalize the playing field until we have a roster of people I can actually BEAT" - Bobby Digital

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There's sure a lot of gold in your bathroom, too bad there's none around your waist.


Hilarious rp btw :)

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"You either die a hero or live long enough to become Nate Ortiz" - Drago Cesar


"Let me make myself clear: you work for me. If I tell you to fight Blaine, you fight Blaine. Hell, if I tell you to fight a lion, you WILL fight a lion and still thank me afterwards for giving you a job." - Mr. Sensation

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