Gabriel Alpha Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 James: Maybe not man, shit, what the fuck have we gotten into here, why the fuck are we even here? Sanchez: Ok you ever seen Saw? There’s normally some stupid fucked up reason why we are here and it ends up being crucial to the whole plot so lets think about this, are you a wrestler? James: Sure, sometimes, but only independently for low cost wrestling groups, nothing major… You? Sanchez: Same deal, what was your last storyline? You had any issue lately with fans or other wrestlers? The only guy I can think of is Jason Michaels, we fell out but he’s gone now… James (Interrupting): Jason Michaels…. Yeah I know the guy, some lucky prick in talks with OCW, I had a go about him in a promo last week! I bet the prick has done this to us! What the hell does he want? Sanchez: You slagged him off, and I said I can beat anyone so maybe he wants us to fight in the ring, you know I punish you a little, and he lets us out, kinda some sick little thing he has going on? James: Ok man get in here, throw some weapons in and lets get this show on the road! James looks around and notices at the top of the wall a small window looks down on the room… James stares directly up at it…. James: Yeah you sick fuck, you want it? Huh? You got it! Both men stand toe to toe over the fat sleeping guy and James kicks things off with a punch to the face, Sanchez falls backwards and James continues his assault by stomping him. Sanchez rolls over and picks up the 2x4 and throws it at James who gets hit in the chest. He goes down against the ropes and Sanchez gets himself up, he jumps onto the ring post and then flies down towards James with a head butt, James however moves, but both men still collide with each other and end up in the corner of the ring bloodied and bruised. They lay for a minute and then get up, frustrated Sanchez swears and James throws the 2x4 at the window. James: Well what do you want? I’m not wrestling anymore! Sanchez: Help me wake the fat guy up, maybe he can help… Both men walk over to the fat guy and start to pull him, but he is too heavy and stays snoring away as they struggle, Jason reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a tape. Sanchez grabs the recorder and both men listen intently. Voice: Well well well you found the tape belonging to our pie orientated friend, greed is a sin that I hate, and with that in mind I want you to relieve the fatty of some items, check inside his trousers and down his top, the answers you need are there. Be warned you will need a strong stomach… Jason is first to react and he pulls at the shirt of the fatty, smeared with juice and food stains he struggles but just about makes out the words written on the guys shirt ‘I’m with stupid’… Sanchez bites the bullet and puts his hands down the guys trousers, he almost screams but manages to control himself before removing his hand to find it covered in what appears to be human waste… Sanchez: Shit this is fucked up….. James: Man all this fucking around we have twenty minutes left….. Look again! Sanchez: You fucking do it man…. Shit what the hell is this stuff? It better be not be what I think! James pushes his hand in and you hear a ruffle of plastic, he pulls in harder then pulls his hand out holding onto a chocolate bar wrapper. James: I think your good…. Sanchez: Wait look….. The two men pull out a folded piece of paper that was hidden under the folds of the fat guys t-shirt, it says on it ‘Clean me’… Both men look puzzled and then realise the note was meant as a sign for them to clean the fatty. Looking around James finds some wet wipes under the ring and both men set to work cleaning the guy, almost ten minutes later they get to the stage of trying to roll him over so they can pull the shirt off him and wipe under the arm pits… fifteen minutes later and finally they are done, the fat guy still drooling lays in the middle of the ring oblivious to the sweating men sitting either side of him. The lights go out and both men sit in the darkness, suddenly a drawer opens from the wall and both men run to it, inside the drawer are three bottles of wine and two glasses, both men look puzzled once more but soon spot the note that says ‘drink me’…. They pour out a glass and start to drink, eventually they finish all three bottles and pass out on the floor. As soon as they are asleep the door on the far side that Sanchez didn’t reach opens and a guy dressed in a clown suit walks in, he looks tired and walks with a limp, smoking a cigar he slaps the fatty across the face and picks him up by the shoulders dragging him out the room. He then walks back in and drops a note with a key on the floor before walking back out and locking the door behind him. A few hours later the two men wake up and holding their heads they find the fatty gone and a note left in its place. ‘The next time you choose to trash talk someone you know nothing about perhaps you should think of the consequences, I asked you to work out what it was I wanted you to do to complete the game… And the answer was to clean that fat bastard as there was no way I was and I have to ride six hours in the car with the drunken piece of shit. The wine you drunk has been recorded and the fact your only two blocks away from your training ground would make sure the police chalk this little adventure up to you two getting drunk and making up stories… Oh and you seem to have broken into the OTC training gym, so maybe you may want to keep that quiet. Jason’ Both men shake their heads and get to their feet before walking out the door using the key left behind. End
Ewanchuk Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Weird....but I like it. It's different....really different. Nice job Jason.
Seth Morrison Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I guess this one is more inuitive. Also pokes fun at it being a rip off of saw. Dane Xavier: cyber bullying is not only illegal, it's pathetic "I swear to go if you call me a Liberal again you RETHUGLICAN, SEE WHAT I DID THERE. This is america, if you want to throw your hard earned sweat money on a videogame gambling site and thus deny you and your family food and shelter THAN BY GOD DAMMIT YOU CAN, BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA YOU COMMIE SOCIALIST. Now then when Can I expect your next donation? "- Jay Jay Double A is "The Weapon Of Mass Consumption"
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