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Drago Cesar's Beastly Adventures - The Lost Episode


Drago Cesar

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The camera fades in on Drago Cesar driving his jeep while Johnny Law is in the passenger's seat.

 

Johnny Law: Drago, I've known you for a long time. I know you're into this whole hunting deal, but don't you think that this is.....pushing it a little bit?

 

Drago Cesar: Pushing it? What you mean?

 

Johnny Law: What I mean is that you're hunting for something that's.....not really existent.

 

Drago Cesar: I'm no understand.

 

Johnny Law: For God's sakes, Drago, you're hunting for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! They're comic book, movie, cartoon characters! They don't exist in real life!

 

Drago Cesar: Oh ho ho, but that is where you are wrong, Mr. Law.

 

Johnny Law: Really now? So tell me where you think all those guys are going to pop up, huh?

 

Drago is silent as he turns a corner and pulls up to an outdoor comic convention of sorts, filled with cosplayers, tables filled with comic books, etc.

 

Johnny Law: A comic convention? Really? You think th-

 

Drago Cesar: Quiet, Johnny! The expedition begins!

 

Drago takes out a pair of binoculars and scouts the area, noticing many....strange things. He finds a man wearing a Mega Man outfit whose clothes are clearly too small for his body, he sees two people try to sword fight, but one of them gets his eye poked by the other's fake sword and starts crying, and while this does make Drago chuckle, he starts to notice that maybe the Turtles aren't really here. He bangs the steering wheel with his fist.

 

Drago Cesar: Damn it! Maybe we be too late....Wait a second....

 

Drago pulls out the binoculars once again and finds a group of four men dressed in costume as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, one of them, dressing as Leonardo, looking as if he's skilled somewhat in martial arts, doing cartwheels and high kicks while the others just sort of walk around with him.

 

Drago Cesar: And there they are......This will be a spectacular hunt!

 

The camera fades, and then returns to the view of the folks dressed as the Turtles, still outside and waving at people who are passing by.

 

Guy Dressed As Raphael: Man, these costumes are tight! I wish I could just take a break!

 

Guy Dressed As Michelangelo: Ditto. This job sucks.

 

Guy Dressed As Raphael: Hey, I'm going to go take care of some business real quick, I'll be right back.

 

The man dressed as Raphael quickly dashes out of view and the camera catches up with him as he's in some sort of forest nearby. He stands next to a tree and starts handling his......business. Just as he's about to finish up, Drago's Net suddenly lands on top of him, and try as he might, he fails to get out of the clutches of The Net and passes out. Drago appears into view and smiles.

 

Drago Cesar: One down, three to go......

 

The camera switches to the view of Michelangelo, who appears a bit distraught.

 

Guy Dressed As Michelangelo: Yo, I'm going to check on Raph. Dude's been gone for a while.

 

The man sprints into the same area where Raph was, only to find nothing. Until he is met with a tranquilizer dart right to the neck. Drago appears again and does a little Drago Shuffle to celebrate his success.

 

Johnny Law: Drago, you're nuts. These guys aren't even the re-

 

Drago Cesar: Please stop ruining my fun!

 

Drago then goes back to the scene where the Turtles previously were. It is night time and both men are about to get ready to go.

 

Guy Dressed As Donatello: What happened to the rest of the guys?

 

Guy Dressed As Leonardo: I don't have a clue! I smell something fishy here......OH SHI-

 

Suddenly, a can of some sort drops, releasing what looks to be some type of gas, and Leon barely flips out of the way while Don quickly succumbs to the sleeping gas. Drago is shocked to see that Leonardo has finally found him out.

 

Guy Dressed As Leonardo: Who the hell are you? Are you the guy that's causing our guys to go missing?

 

Drago Cesar: I am Drago Cesar, resident animal hu-

 

Suddenly Drago is met with a kick to the face that knocks him down. He starts getting angry and quickly hops up to his feet. Leonardo gets into a martial arts stance, doing a jumping backflip, and looking as if he's about to attack, but all of a sudden, he gets hit with a shovel to the back of the head, knocking him unconscious instantly. The camera reveals that it is Johnny Law who performed the deed, dropping the shovel and looking a bit cocky in doing so.

 

Johnny Law: That's what you get when you mess with the motherf***ing LAW!

 

Drago chuckles and starts clapping.

 

Drago Cesar: Thank you, Mr. Law.

 

The camera cuts to the unconscious Turtles in the back of Drago's jeep as Drago and Johnny drive away.

 

Johnny Law: So what are we doing with these guys?

 

Drago Cesar: Bring them back home to their Ninja Turtle moms in the East......After all, they are endangered species!

 

Johnny Law: Drago, I can never really understand you but........It's fun as hell hunting with ya.

 

The jeep drives away in the distance, and the segment ends.

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"Roll 20 for initiative, you cuck" - Mr. Sensation

"I don't have a brain" - Tiberius Dupree

"4 os a gppd cp,[ro,ose" - Mr. Sensation

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