Damnit Barry aka Flower For Tank

[Gentleman Jack]

Our scene opens once again inside Jack's very sad, very lonely hotel room. It's early afternoon and the bedside phone rings once again. Also, how sad is it that Jack is using the motel land line instead of a cell phone? Jesus this guy has problems.

 

Jack: Hello? Barry! You better have good news for me Barry! Turmoil 122 was announced today! Where am i in the card Barry? You smoothed this over didn't you?

 

Long pause as Jack's giddiness quickly turns sour.

 

Jack: No? What do you mean no? Why do I pay you Barry?! I thought you had this? You took me seriously at 4am??? You thought I had a plan??? I was drunk Barry! It was 4am! What the hell kind of plan could I hatch at 4 in the morning to get on the hottest new wrestling show in America??? Tell me Barry! What kind of fucking master plan would I come up with????

 

As Barry responds Jack tries to massage the tension in his temple away.

 

Jack: Ok, ok not the end of the world. Sorry Barry. Anyway who is on the card? Whats the main event?

 

Jack picks up the phone and begins to slowly pace around his nightstand in a small circle as Barry responds. Seriously, you young kids don't remember this but land lines were the drizzling shits back in the day.

 

Jack: Malu vs Montgomery? The Savage Islander vs The American Outlaw? Jesus, I'd pay to see it. Actually talk to our friend in Vegas and see if you can put something on Montgomery for me. I gotta make back that money from your worthless Kwan attack ad. Yes Barry, YOUR idea. Anyway what else is on the card?

 

Barry details the co-main event as Jack continues to pace.

 

Jack: Dennis Black and Jacob Trance. The tv champ? Ok can't knock the company for booking the tv champ and a consummate pro like Trance. Did you see Black's entrance at Wrestlelution? The guy gives me the creeps Barry. Ok two solid main events, and let's be honest Barry, I ain't main eventing any time soon! No problems there. What else is on the card?

 

Jack picks up a coffee mug from the nightstand and takes a swig as Barry reveals the next match. A quick spit take follows.

 

Jack: Colt Matthews and Loki McGregor?! Are you high Barry or is that really the match? Because if you're high you're an asshole for sending me on the road with nothing. NOTHING BARRY, NOTHING. Jesus Barry, this one hurts. Cmon Jack, dont let them see you cry. Ok Barry, whats next?

 

Barry reveals the next match to Jack as Tank vs. Corey Ford

 

Jack:Ha! Well its the kid's funeral, not mine. Send some flowers to Ford's family for me. They'll need some sunshine after Tank ruins their child. You know what? Send some flowers to Tank as well. I definitely don't want to be on his bad side when i debut. What's next?

 

Barry lays out the women's tag match.

 

Jack: Ok 4 women in one ring, I get that. Never let it be said that Jack was sexist. The ladies earned their spot. But cmon man that can't be the end of the card. There should be an entire segment free!

 

Barry then explains the MYSTERY TAG TEAM match.

 

Jack: That's it Barry! I bet I'm part of the secret tag team! It all makes sense!

 

Barry responds.

 

Jack: What do you mean the front office has never heard of me and that Kwan Watts has a better chance of being World Heavy Champion than I do of being in this match? That's bullshit Barry and frankly you've hurt my feelings. Good day sir!

 

Jack slams down the phone in anger. As a side note kids, this was the only good thing about landlines. The pure joy you would get from hanging up on an asshole with a slam. Ask your parents about it sometime. Anyway after hanging up with Barry, Jack falls into a pile on his bed.

 

Jack: Ugh, I guess I really do need a plan....

 

Fade out

[Jimmy Henry]

This guy! Get him booked. Unleash him on Unleashed.