Ring Ding Dong

[Sophia]

The scene opens with a glimpse inside a shady venue known for its rock & heavy metal performances by local cover bands. The building is packed with people, and appears to be a sea of dark colors, wild hair, face paint, and body piercings. There is a hefty cocktail of B.O., sweat, and smoke of questionable origin wafting through the air. Heavy metal music is being played by the shitty band on stage and is blasting through the speakers loud enough to blow out your eardrums. The lead singer, who thinks he is the next Marilyn Manson, is screaming along with the music into the mic unintelligibly. Suddenly we hear some commotion going on in the background, as the camera pans to another scene unfolding over by the women's bathroom.

 

We find Jayden Webb halfway out , holding the door and yelling back into the restroom.

 

Jayden: F*ck off why don't ya! Don't get mad at me because you guys can't get a room!!!! When a girl’s gotta pee, A GIRL’S GOTTA PEE!!!

 

Metalhead: (faint yelling)

 

Jayden: Isn't there some dark alley somewhere in this damn city you can slither off to?? The f*ck!

 

Jayden's twin, Jayde, notices the situation and wades through the sea of people towards her, dodging elbows and flailing limbs of the heavy metal crowd rocking out to the shitty band.

 

Jayde: Dude wtf?? Do you not answer your f*cking texts?

 

Jayden: I was tryin’ to take a pic of somethin’ someone tagged about a Pleasure Palace on the wall when this fuckin’ chick knocked into me and made me drop my phone in the sink.

And then these assholes were takin’ up the free stall doing some freaky ish! Yellin’ at me for ‘barging in’. Psshhhhh!

 

Jayde quickly dismisses her with a wave and cuts her off.

 

Jayde: Whatever!! We gotta go. I don't wanna be drained for tomorrow's match with that Sophia and her little bartender friend. I want us to make up for lost time, especially since YOU messed things up for us during the tournament.

 

Jayden: me?? ME?! Bish please. You lost a match against an elderly person!! She might as well have beat you with her walker and signed you up for AARP!! You got beat up one of the Golden Girls, sis.

 

Jayde: I hate you.

The noise in the background has subsided briefly as the next act comes on stage.

 

“RINGG DINGGG DONGGGG… RING A DING-DING-DING-DONGGG”

The crowd boo loudly at the change in music, but then suddenly, an explosion of cheers. At that moment we hear: WE BUILT THIS CITY!! WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

The twins look up at the stage and see none other than Bill Ding, decked out in a black leather jacket, aviator sunglasses, blue jeans and his signature sweaty top. He rips off his jacket and swings it round and round above his head before flinging it into the crowd. All sorts of crumbs and pieces of soggy bread and lettuce fly out of the pockets and onto the faces of innocent bystanders. A chant for Ding to crowd surf erupts from the mosh pit, and he happily obliges as he leaps off the stage. The poor souls down below sink beneath him momentarily, but soon rise up with The Ding himself surfing the masses on his back. He floats by the Webbs as they look on in shock.

 

Bill Ding waves as he begins to pass.

 

Bill Ding: HEY LADIES !! (Yelling over ‘Built this City’ playing loudly onstage)

Jayde: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??

Jayden: AND YOUR FRIEND? WHAT WAS HIS NAME? DYL-

Bill Ding: WHAT?? I CANT HEAR YOU!! SORRY GOTTA GO- I THINK IM SURFING THATAWAY!!! (Bill points to the opposite side of the venue.)

The jovial Bill Ding floats off over the masses, leaving the Webbs glancing at each other.

 

Jayden: Man, that guy is everywhere!

Jayde: He’s Bill Ding! He just loves to have a good time! Now let's go already, we have a Queen and her Jester to take down tomorrow.