Day Dreaming

[Cactus Gauge]

Scene opens up in the same 'Gentleman Jack' gym as before. The place is still an old broken down boxing gym, which is covered in dust and filth. A new Dustin Black poster lay crumbled on the ground, surrounded in what smelled like urine. Potent, steroid abused, bright yellow green - urine. The door was, as the last time, unlocked as Cactus Gauge walks in wearing his gold flour de lis shit and black and gold wind pants, along with his grandmothers black cross rosary - which he had turned into a chain. As Cactus walks in, the place is silent, no one in sight. He takes a stool, leans on a wall and begins to look around the rooms - thinking about the OCW and what this 'training' with Ericka will be.

 

Cactus thinks to himself: This place sucks. Why the hell does Jack, Nightmare or anyone even come to this place? And who's pissing on Blacks poster? Geez, the guys a champ, show him some respect. Whoever did it won't be passing any piss test soon. Smells like a yeti caught a yeast infection from a bigfoot and then went on a drinking beige.

Cactus laughs to himself.

 

Cactus Gauge: ...or my last trip to Burbon Street.

 

Dustin White: Do you always talk to yourself?

 

Out of the corner of the room comes DustinWhite, who overheard Cactus randomly talking to himself.

 

Cactus Gauge: What day is it?

 

Dustin White: I've seen you before, haven't I?

 

Cactus Gauge: I used to wrestle for a company called the WWG. You've probably seen me on TV, winning one of my many titles. Kicking ass and taking names, because I am just that important!

 

Dustin White: Nope, never heard of it, it's something else.

 

Cactus mumbles to himself as he looks at the ground kicking the dust.

 

Dustin White: Hot and ready. Thats it! You delivered me a pizza last week.

 

Cactus Gauge: Damn it! Hey man - it's a living. Plus, I quit that shitty place. I guess technically I resigned, but I didn't touch that hoe. I don't care what she says.

 

Dustin White: Would you please shut the hell up. What are you doing here?

 

Cactus Gauge: I am here to fight. I am ready for my second chance and the OCW needs me - they just don't know it yet.

 

Dustin White: You're a fighter?

 

Cactus Gauge: Bitch please. Does a strippa have change for a $20? I am the archangel baby and I am just that important, no matter where I go. I watch the OCW every week and most of those guys are weak. The only thing over for most of them is their eggs.

 

Dustin looks Gauge up and down.

 

Dustin White: I hear a lot of talk but I see very little to be impressed by. You probably should go back to Rue 21 and get your money back for that cheap necklace before you catch gangrene.

 

Cactus jumps up and gets right in Dustin face.

 

Cactus Gauge: Look man, I know you don't know me from the paint on the wall, but my grandmother gave me that chain. If you don't think I am a fighter, I can swell those lips up fatter than Bill Dings jeans.

 

DustinWhite: You want some of me? Please man.

 

Cactus Gauge: Let's go man. Right here. Right now. In that piece of shit ring.

 

Dustin looks over at the ring and then back at Cactus, smirks, nods his head and walks towards the ring - removing his shirt before rolling into the ring. Cactus quickly removes his chain, shirt and sweat pants - to reveal black and gold wrestling shorts, white boots and a large Cactus Gauge logo on the back of the shorts.

 

Cactus Gauge: Todays your day Mr. White; today's the day you get your whooty whooh wrap up like a gift on hanukkah.

 

Cactus and Dustinbegin to do battle in the center of this ring. The back and forth 'match' was fought with passion and excitement as if tens of thousands were watching, yet the audience was 12 cockroaches and 2 small mice. 10 minutes in, cactus reverses a Dustin kick and hits Dustin with a cutter.

 

Cactus Gauge: 1. 2. 3. Lesson ov....

 

A loud smashing sound startled Cactus and caused him to violently grab the air as if he was falling in his sleep. He looks around, no one can be found. Asleep. He had fallen asleep and dreamed the Dustin White interaction.

 

Cactus Gauge: I need to get laid.

 

A loud smashing sound came echoing from the back room and a faint yelling could be heard.

 

Cactus Gauge: What the mess?

 

The smashes were being repeated as Cactus began to search out the noise. As he walked closer, the faint yelling could be made out. It was Ericka - the person who he had been waiting on. She was yelling, but at who? And for what?

 

Ericka Sands: Focus and Finish! You have to focus and finish if you're ever going to make the OCW take you serious!

 

Cactus pushes the door open to see what was going on. Ericka was found holding a steel chair. Nightmare was slumped over, hands on the back of another chair - taking chair shots from Ericka. Just as she picked up the chair to waylay Nightmare with another 'toughening up' lesson, the door squeaked and Ericka turned to see Cactus standing there.

 

Cactus Gauge: What the hell!?!? Man, you two are into some freaky shit. You want me to come back later? Just so that you know, I aint feelin' this lesson, so if my lesson looks like this, I'd rather go back to selling pizzas. Shit, I'll go be a gigolo for fat chicks before I do that lesson. Night - do what you gotta do home slice, but that freaky shit aint for me.

 

Ericka Sands: You shut your mouth!

 

Cactus Gauge: You the second motha who's said that to me. Well, first was a dream, but that aint the point.

 

Turning to Nightmare, Ericka throws the chair down.

 

Ericka Sands: We're done - for now. Focus and finish.

 

Ericka clinches her teeth.

 

Ericka Sands: Focus. And. Finish.

 

Leaving the room, Ericka pushes Cactus out of the doorway.

 

Cactus Gauge: That bitch is cra man. You two make a perfect couple. Plus, I get it. You gotta take what you can get. You're not the Casanova type. Ha! Ugly mofo.

 

Nightmare grunts: Leave.

 

Cactus Gauge: Man, What about my training? I am ready for the OCW baby! I left my job, I am all in man.

 

Nightmare abruptly stands, whirls around to face Cactus in the door and spit as he yells.

 

Nightmare: LEAVE!

 

Cactus Gauge: Say it don't spray it big baby. Ok. I feel you. You all frustrated because I interrupted your "session".

 

Cactus makes air quotes with his hands.

 

Cactus Gauge: Just put a sock on the door next time big man.

 

Nightmare takes a fighting posture as he cracks his neck.

 

Cactus Gauge: Aight man. Chill. Ok, listen, I just want an opportunity man. I am not trying to mess with you and your madam. I am important man. You just don't understand. The OCW needs me baby. The universe needs me! I am here to save them from all this terrible entertainment. I am a fast talker, smooth worker and aint nobody going to have more fun than me. Plus, that Sophia chick is kinda hot and spicy and I gotta meet her.

 

Nightmare now beings to crack his knuckles as takes a step closer towards Cactus

 

Cactus Gauge: Ok man, I got it. You've had a rough morning. Look, just let me come with you to the next Turmoil. Just let me be around some folks. I am like BBQ skrimps man - once they get a taste of me they just gonna want more.

 

Cactus beings to walk out of the room backwards.

 

Cactus Gauge: Aight man. That's a deal? Next week. Me. You. That crazy heifer. We gonna do this. Aight. Look, I am going to close the door so you can do you man. Let some of that frustration out. You'll fill better. Deuces.

 

Cactus closes the door behind him and leave Nightmare standing in the room - visibly frustrated and angry. Scene fades to black.