The Abduction

[Illuminati]

The Camera pans onto a bus stop in suburban South Carolina. We see two children standing at the stop.

 

A thirteen year old girl with her arms crossed and a look of pure malice on her face; and next to her is a ten year old boy wearing a vintage Matsuda T-shirt.

 

HIDE:

Hey Rika, why are we taking the bus home.

 

RIKA:

Because, Hide, our mother is busy traveling the country with a wrestling company, and our father is a trash man playing at politics.

 

HIDE:

...oh

 

As the two converse at the bus stop the camera pulls back to a nondescript van parked a ways away.

 

Inside the car we see the pastel short wearing campaign advisor to Sandra Collinsworth sitting in the front seat.

 

He pulls a walkie talkie to his mouth and starts,

 

PASTEL:

Are you sure this is a good idea?

 

SANDRA:

Yes, if you kidnap his kids, not only will he look like an irresponsible parent, but he may have to drop out of the race to deal with the “kidnappers”.

 

PASTEL:

Yeah but what if I get caught? Don’t worry, I have the sheriff in my pocket, besides it's just two kids; What’s the worst that could happen?

 

Pastel shrugs and puts a pastel pink ski mask on, his stupid curly moustache pops out of the hole for his mouth.

 

He drives up to the bus stop and lowers his window, he begins speaking to the children.

 

PASTEL:

Hey kids, I’m a friend of your fathers, I’m here to take you home.

 

The two children stare blankly at the site of a man wearing a pastel pink ski mask attempting to abduct them. After a moment of awkward silence, Rika finally answers.

 

RIKA:

Our mom told us not to talk to people like Uncle Pugh.

 

PASTEL:

Uncle Pugh?

 

HIDE:

Pedophiles, she meant pedophiles… because everyone is pretty sure Uncle Pugh is a pedophile.

 

PASTEL:

...oh

 

Pastel thinks for a moment and decides on his course of action.

 

PASTEL:

Well your father insisted that I take you with me, so if you don’t come willingly…

 

Rika raises an eyebrow and coldly cuts him off

 

RIKA:

I will eat your lunch, and I won’t even give you a sip of water.

 

Pastel steps out of the van nervously.

 

PASTEL:

I'll have you know I took "Self Defense Classes For Her" at the Community Learning Annex.

As he he stretches his spaghetti arms, Rika simply stands waiting for him. Pastel takes a deep breath and charges at Rika.

 

Before he can reach her we see Hide wind back and super kick him square in the balls. Pastel doubles over in pain, clutching at his groin as Hide celebrates.

 

HIDE:

I’M THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME YOUR VILLAIN HIDETO MATSUMOTO!

 

As he parades around victoriously Rika snatches Pastel up in a flawless H-Edge and drops him on the pavement. She begins doing the Spider Dance instinctively but then stops herself halfway through and makes sure no one saw her doing the dance.

 

Before they can continue their beating a beat up 93 Buick Cutlass rear ends the van. Rufus leaps out of the car and waves his hands erratically.

 

RUFUS:

CHILDRENS!!! THERE IS AN EVIL PLOT A FOOT TO KID…

He sees pastel sprawled on the ground in front of the children. He then looks to the children; Hide is still dancing around emulating Matsuda’s victory poses and taunts, while Rika continues scowling.

 

RUFUS:

Hmmm, well it looks like I’ve done a masterful job of repelling this attempt to harm you childrens!

Rika rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

 

RIKA:

Whatever

RUFUS:

Let's tie this busta up and throw him in the trunk. I think it's best we all head back to your Pops and figure out what to do about this.

 

Pt 1.

Breaking News

Pt 2.

The Opposition

Pt 3.

The Campaign Manager