Quick Trip Home

[Cactus Gauge]

Cactus Gauge decided to make a quick trip home after his Turmoil match. After flying into Armstrong Airport, Cactus took an uber over to his favorite spot to see his favorite uncle - Uncle Tee Roux, also known as "Unc T" to Cactus. Uncle T wasn't really Cactus' uncle, but a worker who took care of Cactus' family lawn, while the young Cactus was growing up. Cactus' favorite spot is a local bar, full of good people, good music and stiff drinks - the 'Kingpin'.

http://theadvocate.com/csp/mediapool/sites/dt.common.streams.StreamServer.cls?STREAMOID=yxpnTChpLJROYqZqL9kDw8$daE2N3K4ZzOUsqbU5sYsCd69wl6bshJSroZHfIRtqWCsjLu883Ygn4B49Lvm9bPe2QeMKQdVeZmXF$9l$4uCZ8QDXhaHEp3rvzXRJFdy0KqPHLoMevcTLo3h8xh70Y6N_U_CryOsw6FTOdKL_jpQ-&CONTENTTYPE=image/jpeg

 

As Cactus walks into the crowd local pub, Uncle T was sitting at the end - 5 drinks deep already.

 

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Cactus: Unc! Unc T!

 

Cactus quickly runs behind Uncle T for a big bear hug.

 

T: Meh, how you been lil main?

 

Cactus: Unc, I am good, how have you been?

 

T: Sippin' and sober.

 

Uncle T gave out as sober a laugh as a drunk can give.

 

T: I got you something Arch, a gift from Uncle T.

 

Uncle T reaches under his bar stool and take out matching fedora's.

 

Cactus: What! Unc, dem nice. You shouldn't have, but I am glad you did.

 

Cactus puts on his fedora to match his Uncle T.

 

Cactus: Let's take a pic Unc.

 

T: Shit.

 

Uncle T reluctantly stumbles to his feet.

 

T: I gots dis fancy new diggamado of a phone. I's told it takes dem fo-tos or sam-ting.

 

Taking out his 'new' flip phone, Uncle T fumbled with the phone to take a photo, but to no avail. A good looking, curvy portioner over heard the conversations between Cactus and his Uncle, so she offered to snap the photo for the cute family reunion.

 

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Cactus: Look dem dude Unc. You still gots it. I am telling you Unc, you still gots it.

 

T: All I gots is cataract, a beat up truck and an unquenchable thirst for bourbon and women.

 

Cactus: You make me laugh Unc.

 

T: Where da hell you bean any ways?

 

Cactus: I gots a new job Unc. I am wreastlin' now!

 

Uncle T looks interested in this new job that Cactus seems excited about.

 

Cactus: Ya ma', I am wreastlin' with a place called OCW. It's pretty legit. I am liking it.

 

Cactus: I mean, it aint the Kingpin with you Unc T, but it's close.

 

Cactus winks at his uncle.

 

T: Dat tail watching' you big man.

 

Cactus notices that Uncle T is talking about the young lady who had snapped the photo a few moments ago. She was standing on the other end of the bar, glancing over often as she sips her drink.

 

T: Cha' you needs somethan in you hand.

 

Uncle T motions to the bartender to fix Cactus something to drink.

 

http://theadvocate.com/csp/mediapool/sites/dt.common.streams.StreamServer.cls?STREAMOID=ixvD31_btswe4ooSnRp158$daE2N3K4ZzOUsqbU5sYvuwtxHhmCXP44J4G5VdoiPWCsjLu883Ygn4B49Lvm9bPe2QeMKQdVeZmXF$9l$4uCZ8QDXhaHEp3rvzXRJFdy0KqPHLoMevcTLo3h8xh70Y6N_U_CryOsw6FTOdKL_jpQ-&CONTENTTYPE=image/jpeg

 

T: Look at dis. 'Twas wit same old books I had.

 

Uncle T places down a photo, which Cactus picks up to see closer in the dark bar.

 

 

Cactus: Ha, look dat dude. Sexy Unc - always sexy. I must have been 18 in this picture.

 

The young lady who had taken the photo was walking by and noticed the photo which Cactus was looking at.

 

Photo Lady: Nice picture.

 

Cactus: Thanks, my Unc T found this. Pretty hilarious, i you ask me.

 

Photo lady keeps walking to the back to shoot some pool.

 

T: I used that to post a Craigslist ad. I am a lonely old ma.

 

Cactus: Did it work?

 

T: He wasn't really muh type, bet I's had enough in me to gets chew it.

 

Cactus: You did what?

 

T: Wasn't de first time.

 

Cactus: Wait, you took a man home?

 

T: Nah. He cames to me.

 

T: You's gone do dey same thang.

 

Cactus: She's not a man Unc!

 

T: Hum. Bet?

 

Cactus: She's got no adam's apple.

 

T: It's hidden.

 

T: In her pants.

 

Cactus staring towards the back of the room, to find the little dude, a bulge, something.

 

Cactus: Unc, she's cute. No way she a man.

 

T: Bet.

 

Cactus: Aight old man, bet. So if I win?

 

T: Den you win, if you what I means.

 

T: Her payment will be nuff.

 

Cactus: And if I lose?

 

T: Meh, you'll pay dat debt yo self.

 

The two laugh it off as Cactus walks to the back to meet his new lady friend - or so he hopes. After a few moments of giggling and drinking, the two walk out of the back door.

 

Cactus: Bet Unc. I'll let you know how it comes out.

 

T: Or you won't.

Uncle T sips his bourbon as his little buddie leaves with photo lady out the back.

[S.Abbott]

Fingers crossed for a paper cut framed by cotton candy... Lol