Toothpaste Flatulator

[Cactus Gauge]

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Scene opens up in a massage room, where Cactus is laying down for a relaxing massage before his big main event at Turmoil 135.

 

Cactus: It's been on hell of a month, I really need this. It's a 'treat yo' self' kind of day and I am doing just that.

 

Cactus massage therapist walks in and greets him.

 

Therapist: What would you like done today sir.

 

Cactus: Ma'am, I have a big day coming up this week and I need to be totally relaxed. You do whatever it takes.

 

Therapist: Very well, sir. Full body relaxation style massage it is then.

 

Things started off as it normally does, but after a short time, Cactus begins to start dozing off. The therapist begins working down to Cactus feet. She started by using her thumbs to press into both of his arches. Suddenly - BLAP! As soon as she pressed her thumbs into his feet, Cactus let out a short, but very sharp and loud - fart. It was as if Cactus had blasted an airhorn, telling the therapist to stop. It startled the poor girl so bad, that her hands jerked back off of Cactus feet.

 

Somehow the therapist managed to control her inner child, and kept her laughing under control, so that Cactus didn’t hear her. By now Cactus was good and asleep, and didn't notice a thing. The therapist continued on with the massage.

 

Working from his feet up, the therapist reached Cactus hamstrings. She started off by warming up the tissue with her hands before any deeper pressure. As she placed her elbow just above the back of Cactus knee, she found herself leaning down over Cactus leg, her face directed about 12″ from Cactus bottom. As the therapist start to glide her forearm up Cactus hamstring, from his knee, up towards his hip - it happens again. Only this time it was a long, slow, drawn out, RIP - which was directed right at the therapist face and only got louder as she inched closer to his hip. It was as if the therapist was squeezing it out of Cactus, as you would squeeze a tube of toothpaste from the bottom up.

 

This time, the therapist couldn’t control her laughter and even deemed the Turmoil super star - "Toothpaste Flatulator”. Fortunately, for her, these backfires may not have been silent, but they weren't deadly either.

 

Cactus just slept. Totally relaxed - bowels and all.

 

Scenes ends as Cactus naps and enjoys his full body relaxation massage.