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Wet Hot American: Summercide Pt 1


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By: Jack G.

 

The wrestling world was shaken to it's core during Sunday's biggest party of the year, SummerCide. Alliances were formed, friendships ruined, legends returned, and careers were made and broken. The following series will hopefully touch on all of the events that made this one of the best pay per veiws in our sport's illustrious history. Pour yourself a snifter of your favorite beverage and please enjoy part one of Wet Hot American SummerCide.

 

The nearly six hour event began with one of Turmoil's most promising rookies, Adam Adams facing off with Nathan Carter in a gimp suit, I mean Mystique. Adams, a man with nothing but upside and class, had been attacked by the man known as Mystique on the most recent edition of Turmoil. These two relatively unknown figures set the pace of the night with a twenty minute back and forth match that saw Mr. Adams pick up a big win on his pay per view debut. Adams appears to be the total package and looks to carry this momentum into his Golden Opportunity match for a shot at the Television Title on Turmoil.

 

No kick off show would be complete without a number of interviews and promos. Besides hearing from the aforementioned Adam Adams, fans got to see The One Man Revolution disrespect a racist, a “Spider Guy”, and a Hall of Fame Hardcore Champion make an appearance. OCW television is the only place folks can tune in to see such an eclectic group of talent.

 

To draw the kick off show to a close, fans were treated to a match between two of Turmoil's rising factions, The Rogue Convoy and the Gentleman's Club. These two groups have been battling it out for weeks over their vastly different life styles and to make a mark upon the company. The Rogue Convoy pulled out a hard fought victory, proving that the saints can more than hang with the sinners. After the match, Gentleman Jack, filled with rage, tried to take matters into his hands by getting into the ring. This proved to be one of the dumbest mistakes the Gentleman has ever made, as the three men of The Convoy laid him out with a vicious beating this reporter can never unsee. With tag titles as a possibility on Turmoil, The Convoy stands out as early favorites after their big win.

 

The main show got off to a hot start with both Theater of Pain and Revolution Inc. coming out to verbally spar before going to war multiple times later in the night. With so much on the line, both groups appeared to be confident in their battle plan. Never before has an OCW ring been filled with so much pure talent. With an all out civil war brewing, brother faced off with brother, a father faced off with his own daughter, and two champions were set on a collision course. Much more will be written about these two groups by men more eloquent than I.

 

To kick off the main card, fans were given an Ex Division match up between the recently dethroned Hardcore Champion Ed Reed, and second generation star Charles Young. Both competitors brought their trademarked Ex style into a fast paced duel that saw Ed Reed get back on the winning track. While the Ex Title has remained dormant for months, these two gladiators showed why it's such an integral part of the Riot brand. With his big victory, Ed Reed has certainly put himself in the discussion for title consideration if and when the belt is on the line again.

 

After the match we were given our first visual of Overlord Mugen. With his kingdom seemingly crumbling around him, Mugen had an air of serenity that could only put fear into the hearts of his many enemies. Compounding this fear was his promise of a new ally to join him in his quest for OCW dominance.

 

As the promos and video packages poured in, fans at home saw everything from Bill Ding attaining street cred in Compton to Crossbones defecating in the bushes. If there were any new fans watching at home, they quickly realized what OCW is all about. While mostly fun and games, the big news coming from this section was that Queen Cox couldn't find her Black King. Had ToP already dealt with Malu's challenger? Was the TV Champion having an extensional crisis? Would SummerCide have a Main Event? All of these questions would have to wait until later in the show to be answered.

 

When the show returned to in ring action, fans throughout the arena and at home were treated to what can only be described as a brutal showdown between former friends Kassidy Hayes and Tre Golden. Kassidy, a former Turmoil Champion, hasn't been the same man since Ragnarok was disbanded months ago. Tre Golden, out to prove he belongs in the North American Title hunt, pushed the undead man to his limits in a ladder match for the ages. With Kassidy claiming a hard fought victory, the wrestling world once again lays at his feet. Tre meanwhile must once again regroup in his quest for respect.

 

With our attention once again focused backstage, we got the night's first glimpse of OCW World Champion Drago Cesar preparing for his title defense. Never one to waste words, Drago proved his physical dominance by bench pressing a lion! With the ability to pull off these magnificent feats of strength, it's no wonder that Drago is clearly the Vegas favorite to retain later in the evening.

 

While the men in the triple threat match were prepping in their own unique ways, fans were given a glimpse at a truly disturbing sight, bald Tiberius Dupree. While many worried if this would be a modern day retelling of Samson, Mr. Dupree appeared to be his own brand content, winning a game of Connect Four and spouting the most glorious nonsense this reporter has ever heard. The only thing that can stop Mr. Dupree at this point is a poorly timed wellness test.

 

In what was just a hint of things to come later in the night, the Skull Faces made what many thought to be a random appearance on stage. While saying the same thing for months, many had written this group off as a bad joke. Oh how wrong we can all be...

 

The ladies kicked it up a notch during our next segment in a hardcore tag team match featuring KAT and a returning Anyanna Bootay facing off against “best friends” Madison Cox and Alex Robinson. The sheer brutality of this match proved that the ladies of OCW are more than mere eye candy. With KAT and Ms. Bootay picking up the win, the Women's Division will be in upheaval going forward.

 

Following the tag team massacre and a heartfelt promo by Jimmy Henry, we return to in ring action as three men who have defined the Riot midcard for the summer of 2016 squared off in a triple threat match. In what many, including this reporter see as an upset, Anthony Baker stood tall on the second biggest stage of the year in a well earned victory over Matt Sheldon and Flynn. Will this be the climax of this young man's career or will he take this momentum into next season? I for one can't wait to find out.

 

This concludes part one of Wet Hot American Summercide. Please stay tuned this week as we touch on the moments that will surely redefine a generation.

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  • Mark Out! 15

Welcome to OCW, keep tough skin, speak your mind, and most of all have fun.-Betterness

"I'm going to be brutally honest here guys... all we really need for a good Riot is a few RP's from Our Hero himself... he's an awesome writer!!!" - Smythe

CCWJustinTime: just funny how the shit i do goes un appreciative

[10-01, 00:19] Jookie Marley: fuck u nigga

[09-01, 23:50] Mr.Bentley: uploadafraud.com

[09-01, 23:45] Jookie Marley: what website do we use 2 upload now?

"Summercide was 2 white girls away from being a cook out" - Cyberbully 2099

" makes me laugh how its gone from all ambition era holding the titles, to 3 guys from 07 holding the main titles..haha

welcome to the 'Pensioner Era' - Parker

"This is all part of my plan to equalize the playing field until we have a roster of people I can actually BEAT" - Bobby Digital

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Thought this was about me due to the misleading title. To my surprise, I was only mentioned twice.

 

It ain't ABOUT YOU!!!!!!

 

Besides you're not American, you're Canadian..........

 

Excellent Article Mr Jack G.

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 15-06, 18:20 Tiberius Dupree make him tap with brownie mix

 

"Booking Wrestling is the most thankless no-win position anyone could ever be in. When things go well it's the talent that makes it work. When they go badly, it's because the Booker doesn't know what he's doing." - Eric Bischoff

 

Jookie: what website do we upload to againi for got

Our Hero: uploadafraud.com

Jookie: fuck u boricua

 

"I'm like Smythe, except Good" - Matsuda

 

OCW works best when it’s a melting pot of different ideas and opinions coming together to create some cool ass shit. It’s at its worst when people are only invested in their own/their pals’ content." - Paul Pugh
 

"I'm 5,9" - Ry
 

"I'm sorry if this sounds mean but OCW shouldn't be allowed to vote" - Jake Allen

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