Step Your Promos Up!

[Colt Starr]

Ronnie Darko is in the OCW arena. He stands in front of a OCW logoed background with a mic in his hand. He sports a "Vince McMahon is an ass" t-shirt. A voice begins to speak in the background. As the words are spoken they are scrolling up the screen, amidst a smiling Ronnie Darko, with his hands folded.

 

[Voice]: It has been brought to Ronnie Darko's attention that the bulk of OCW talent have produced mediocre if not horrible promos as of late. Many lacking wit and originality, they border on dare I say it...A Chris Benoit promo. So to dispell the rumor that Ronnie Darko hates all OCW talent and wishes them ill, he will now provide the so called talent with a three step tutorial of how not to sound....like lolly-gagging, fanboys, who indeed buff pecker.

As the word pecker scrolls up the screen, Ronnie puts the mic and begins to speak.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: Hello and for those who do not know me, I am Ronnie Darko, a better wrestler than you. Now with that arrogance, comes a lot of grief and I'm sure that soon after this promo, there will be tomatoes thrown at me..so to speak. But I have devised a simple system to avoid you superstars from sounding like such crotchmouth bumbling idiots as....

 

As he begins to name superstars, their pictures are imposed on the screen with a large red X running through their images.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: Insignificant Adrian Bold, Jason Bold, and many, many, many, many, many others.

 

The last "many" stops at the bottom of the screen. Ronnie appears to kick it to the side with his foot.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: So I will teach you the things to avoid in wrestling promos, so that you do not end up like these poor, unaware folks. If you avoid the following 3 do-nots, you will be not only be years ahead of the mentioned talent, but you will not be the butt of jokes in far more superior promos such as this one.

 

 

"Step One" is displayed on the screen. The screen transitions to a generic wrestler coming down the ramp of a wrestling arena with a mic in his hand. He stops lifts his mic and there is a black censor bar. Over the sensor bar, are the words "Do Not". The screen transitions back to Ronnie Darko speaking.

 

 

[Ronnie Darko]: Do not have corniness in your promo, which I know is very hard for many of you. Avoid it all costs. It will plague your reputation and robs you of your dignity. For example...Big Adrian Bold when referring to the promo of Ronnie Darko was quoted as saying "Condoms fall better from the ceiling" as a comeback. Poor choice of words

 

 

A picture of a steaming pile of dog poop, imposed on the screen. Darko points at the picture.

 

 

[Ronnie Darko]: Big Adrian's comments were terrible at best. The fans probably would rather eat this piece of dog crap, in a 12 inch sub, then hear him speak. Now to step two...

 

 

"Step Two" is displayed on the screen. A poorly drawn picture of Adrian is shown of them sitting on the toilet together sharing a microphone.

 

 

[Ronnie Darko]: Do not use the "You Suck" promo, if you are not going to be creative. The "You Suck" promo, is when you devote a whole promo to telling someone how bad they are. Avoid these the follow phrases

 

"You suck"

 

"You really suck"

 

"You are the suckiest of sucks" and my personal favorite...

 

"Now The Time has come WE will take no mercy upon your soul!! "

If you have not mastered the basics of the a promo, you may end up like most of these OCW superstars. These people doing a "You Suck" promo is the equivalent of trying to build a mansion, out of toothpicks in a hurricane. And even if you get these fans to cheer with this crap, its like racing at the Special Olympics...even if you win, you are still retarded! It has been statistically proven, that 98.9999% of the talent in this federation are god awful at trying to convince these fans of their skill, or someone else's lack there of....which brings me to Step "Three".

 

"Step Two" is displayed on the screen. A picture of Ronnie Darko standing atop a pile of OCW superstars.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: I hate to steal a line from someone, but Know Your Role. The following a few examples of what to avoid if your role is not known. They include but are not limited to:

 

"Do not become a variation of Undertaker character, it has been done so many, many, many times. Most times not well"

 

"Do not challenge for a belt in your debut"

 

"Do not try to out promo someone, who is better than you..the who is me"

 

"Do not interrupt an on going beef if you are not going contribute to it logically. If you have no idea what's going on, and you try to be involved, you will put the Douche...in douche bag.. "

 

"If someone out promos you, do not try to use the same tactic that they used to embarass you...it's sad. :( "

 

You see, you are getting better already. Get that frown off of your face Adrian....keep a stiff upper lip Jason Michaels...and if you keep practicing..you may get a point where you don't sound like old man being kicked in the balls with a steel toe boot. So to demonstrate the skill that these two, I've just referred to have...I will beat them up right here, right now.

 

Two overweight men dressed up like Insignificant Big Adrian and Ov Terror come out, each on a side of Darko. He turns to one and kicks him in the crotch. He turns to the other and kicks him in the crotch. He raises his arms in celebration. He then puts his thumb up and the camera zooms in on his face. It stays on his face for longer than it should, and he tries to readjust his face to avoid the discomfort. Darko winks his eye and the camera fades.

[Nick Kage]

is this the matrix??

[Brad Bauer]

Ronnie Darko is in the OCW arena. He stands in front of a OCW logoed background with a mic in his hand. He sports a "Vince McMahon is an ass" t-shirt. A voice begins to speak in the background. As the words are spoken they are scrolling up the screen, amidst a smiling Ronnie Darko, with his hands folded.

 

[Voice]: It has been brought to Ronnie Darko's attention that the bulk of OCW talent have produced mediocre if not horrible promos as of late. Many lacking wit and originality, they border on dare I say it...A Chris Benoit promo. So to dispell the rumor that Ronnie Darko hates all OCW talent and wishes them ill, he will now provide the so called talent with a three step tutorial of how not to sound....like lolly-gagging, fanboys, who indeed buff pecker.

 

As the word pecker scrolls up the screen, Ronnie puts the mic and begins to speak.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: Hello and for those who do not know me, I am Ronnie Darko, a better wrestler than you. Now with that arrogance, comes a lot of grief and I'm sure that soon after this promo, there will be tomatoes thrown at me..so to speak. But I have devised a simple system to avoid you superstars from sounding like such crotchmouth bumbling idiots as....

 

As he begins to name superstars, their pictures are imposed on the screen with a large red X running through their images.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: Insignificant Adrian Bold, Jason Bold, and many, many, many, many, many others.

 

The last "many" stops at the bottom of the screen. Ronnie appears to kick it to the side with his foot.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: So I will teach you the things to avoid in wrestling promos, so that you do not end up like these poor, unaware folks. If you avoid the following 3 do-nots, you will be not only be years ahead of the mentioned talent, but you will not be the butt of jokes in far more superior promos such as this one.

 

"Step One" is displayed on the screen. The screen transitions to a generic wrestler coming down the ramp of a wrestling arena with a mic in his hand. He stops lifts his mic and there is a black censor bar. Over the sensor bar, are the words "Do Not". The screen transitions back to Ronnie Darko speaking.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: Do not have corniness in your promo, which I know is very hard for many of you. Avoid it all costs. It will plague your reputation and robs you of your dignity. For example...Big Adrian Bold when referring to the promo of Ronnie Darko was quoted as saying “Condoms fall better from the ceiling” as a comeback. Poor choice of words

 

A picture of a steaming pile of dog poop, imposed on the screen. Darko points at the picture.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: Big Adrian's comments were terrible at best. The fans probably would rather eat this piece of dog crap, in a 12 inch sub, then hear him speak. Now to step two...

 

"Step Two" is displayed on the screen. A poorly drawn picture of Adrian is shown of them sitting on the toilet together sharing a microphone.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: Do not use the "You Suck" promo, if you are not going to be creative. The "You Suck" promo, is when you devote a whole promo to telling someone how bad they are. Avoid these the follow phrases

 

"You suck"

 

"You really suck"

 

"You are the suckiest of sucks"

 

If you have not mastered the basics of the a promo, you may end up like most of these OCW superstars. These people doing a "You Suck" promo is the equivalent of trying to build a mansion, out of toothpicks in a hurricane. And even if you get these fans to cheer with this crap, its like racing at the Special Olympics...even if you win, you are still retarded! It has been statistically proven, that 98.9999% of the talent in this federation are god awful at trying to convince these fans of their skill, or someone else's lack there of....which brings me to Step "Three".

 

"Step Two" is displayed on the screen. A picture of Ronnie Darko standing atop a pile of OCW superstars.

 

[Ronnie Darko]: I hate to steal a line from someone, but Know Your Role. The following a few examples of what to avoid if your role is not known. They include but are not limited to:

 

"Do not become a variation of Undertaker character, it has been done so many, many, many times. Most times not well"

 

"Do not challenge for a belt in your debut"

 

"Do not try to out promo someone, who is better than you..the who is me"

 

"Do not interrupt an on going beef if you are not going contribute to it logically. If you have no idea what's going on, and you try to be involved, you will put the Douche...in douche bag.. "

 

"If someone out promos you, do not try to use the same tactic that they used to embarass you...it's sad. :( "

 

You see, you are getting better already. Get that frown off of your face Adrian....keep a stiff upper lip Jason Michaels...and if you keep practicing..you may get a point where you don't sound like old man being kicked in the balls with a steel toe boot. So to demonstrate the skill that these two, I've just referred to have...I will beat them up right here, right now.

 

Two overweight men dressed up like Insignificant Big Adrian and Ov Terror come out, each on a side of Darko. He turns to one and kicks him in the crotch. He turns to the other and kicks him in the crotch. He raises his arms in celebration. He then puts his thumb up and the camera zooms in on his face. It stays on his face for longer than it should, and he tries to readjust his face to avoid the discomfort. Darko winks his eye and the camera fades.

 

 

Note, when you RP, post it so the font actually shows up, or just use the default font.

 

Don't knock other people's RP skills or style when you are using half assed grammar yourself. See "Logoed"

 

Using terms like Crotchmouthed and buff pecker make you look meager and less talented than you might actually promise to be.

 

If you avoid the following 3 do-nots"

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY HERE....3 do-nots...jesus man. You don't sound like a wrestler, you sound like some fucking yahoo jahovas witness selling free bibles to the homeless.

 

I hate to steal a line from someone, but Know Your Role.

 

You might hate to steal a line from someone, but you certainly did. One of the most stolen lines in all of professional wrestling. You made yourself into a huge hypocrit right there.

 

Last note. How many times is somebody going to join OCW and have two overweight goons knocked off as two current roster members come out and needlessly job to said newcomer?

 

If you are going to run around here with an ego, at least be able to back it up somewhat. For your sake, I hope you are terrific at the actual game itself...because YOUR Chris Benoit meets Christian promo skills are not over. at least not with me...

 

I have a feeling that you are about to be shredded a new one by 90% of the roster.

 

 

EDIT: I re-read this to ensure that I didn't miss anything. Jesus Christ. Sensation, pull out the hook on this kid. He comes out wearing a Vince McMahon T-shirt. Makes Benoit references, uses Rock's lines...talks about "Promo'ing" Says not to do corny promos, but executes something worthy of King of Corn performance. I could go on and on...but honestly. I'm going to fire you myself if you keep this garbage up.

 

You are a straight Xerox man....Guessing you got your name from that movie...Donnie Darko. How clever, you rhymed Ronnie and Donnie. Jesus Christ. I'm actually aggrevated by how much you actually do suck.

[Nick Kage]

L2RP

 

"learn to role play"

[Val Finale]

Its the OCW Save_US.222 Kage!

[Brad Bauer]

Kage just stop, I'm getting tired of marking out for you.

[Colt Starr]

I appreciate you all reading it. Thanks for the warm welcome...:D..good luck to you all

[Brad Bauer]

I appreciate you all reading it. Thanks for the warm welcome...:D..good luck to you all

 

Actually, there were only like 4 of us that read it. That warm welcome is the steaming piss stream that Adrian Bold has left in your locker. None of us require luck, because we actually have talent/skill....

 

You need a miracle. Oh...just wait until Double A attempts to read that work of art you compiled. (I say attempt because he only reads at a 3rd grade level. However, judging by your 3rd grade level of thinking, he will probably be able to read through it just fine.)

[Heaton]

This is amazing. Why haven't I known about this before?!!?

 

Oh wait.

[Gabe Richards]

Brad shut up. He says absolutly nothing bad about you yet you still find the need to insult him. He wrote an RP, something 50% of OCWfed has trouble just handing in on time. Lay off.

 

Though it was not perfect and definatly needs to learn the ropes of how we RP here, it wasn't that bad. Anyone who shows the drive to RP is on the right track.

 

Heres some tips bud

 

• Morrison Method: Arial Font, Names of Character speaking in BOLD, and actions in BOLD as well.
  
• Stay away from using any WWE/TNA/ROH names, every once in a while isn't so bad.
  
• Keep RPing, your only as good as your last one.

And welcome aboard.