Randy Sexton Brings Hard Times.

[Randy Sexton]

A video package begins with shots of various paintings and sculptures all containing attractive models. After some time, quick shots of a purple adorned wrestler are intercut with the stream of masterpieces. Eventually the video stays with one shot of the man staring straight into the camera. The shot starts with a close up of his eyes and slowly draws back to reveal more.

 

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Randy: Hello to everyone in OCW. For those of you who haven't been blessed by my presence before my name is Randy Sexton. I understand some of you may already be too distracted by the Adonis before you so I will give you a moment to drink it all in and calm yourselves. I would like your undivided attention.

 

Randy does a slow twirl, showing off for what he imagines are millions of eyes fixated on his form

 

Randy: I am here to save OCW from the rampant homeliness, ugliness, and repugnant beasts you're forced to watch. Repulsive men like the sweaty man-pig Bill Ding or the greasy eyesore that is Dennis Black. I know that much like me you'd rather vomit through your eyelids than sit through more of their matches and that is why I've decided to come here. To bring beauty back to the art of professional wrestling and rescue it from the dirty, grubby hands of the beasts that belong digging through the dumpsters out behind the arena rather than inside groping each other for your love. You, the fans of OCW, deserve better and I am here to bring you perfection.

 

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[Wrex]

The gay community?

[Randy Sexton]

The gay community?

 

Any time you want to go 1 on 1 with him Randy's ready to give or take a pounding. Just know that he always cums out on top in the end.

[Cort Marshall]

That CAW is amazing. Great outfit. All these new guys makin' me look bad. Ya even had perfect grammar!

 

There are already a few "I'm gorgeous/I'm gay" gimmicks in OCW (Dupree, Larkspur) but the outfit easily stands out. It strikes that nice OG Goldust line between flamboyant and outlandish but still cool.

[Bray]

I love you.

[Randy Sexton]

Thanks guys. I appreciate it.