Cort/Shep Post Rumblegrounds

[Cort Marshall]

We’re back in the interview room with Cort Marshall and his tag team partner in crime, Christian Shepherd. They’re joined by OCW interviewer extraordinaire, Jim Black.

 

Jim: Well gentlemen, one of you is fresh off Rumblegrounds and the both of you will be heading for a title match on the very first show of the upcoming season. Tell me, what is going through your heads?

 

Cort: Who ever thought lasting ten minutes would be impressive, Jim?

 

Jim (laughing): I’m not sure I should answer that.

 

Cort smiles and turns to the camera.

 

Cort: New season, new me! I’m back from the orient--am I allowed to call it that?

 

Jim opens his mouth but Cort keeps talking.

 

Cort: Well I’m gonna call it that anyway! I’m back from the orient and I feel like a new man! I was taught the secrets of martial combat! I walked over burning coals! I smashed brick with my bare hands! I found out what “medical attention” means in a hidden temple in the woods! Spoiler alert, I missed exorbitantly priced American hospitals. But what really matters is that I’m in better shape than I’ve ever been, and I’ve got a few new tricks up my sleeve that you’re just gonna have to wait to see.

 

Jim: That may be, but what about Rumblegrounds?

 

Cort: Rumblegrounds, I came in at number THREE! People thought it was impossible. Nobody can win from that early!

 

He pauses.

 

Cort: Well they were right. But I sure didn’t do a bad job in there! Left hook, right jab, suplex here, biiiig back body drop there, and it’s all over but for cryin’. Our movie star Justin Jehst got me in the end, but I don’t sweat it. He needs a boost after all that Thomas Archer business. I hope my man Justin beats some sense into his oligarch ass but I can’t be distracted by ANYTHING in OCW… because the next season is coming to a head, and the mega powerful force of Christian Shepherd and yours truly, Cort Marshall, are gonna reclaim those tag team championship titles.

 

Jim: Well I hate to say this, but you’ve lost both matches so far against the team of CQC. What do you hope to do differently the third time around?

 

Shep: I’ll give you the first match, Jim, but the second… let’s just say there was a bit of controversy about the whole thing. We knew how bad they wanted the titles, we just didn’t know the lengths they’d go to. At some points it felt more like a four man brawl than a tag team match. In the end, when the dust settled, we came up short again. It is what it is. In the end, you’ve just gotta suck it up, brush yourself off and get right back up. When the time of the anniversary show comes, I’m not gonna bring out some tibetan kung fu. I’m just gonna be laser-focused on doing what I do best.

 

Cort: What he said! From Tennessee to shining sea, the real Americans who supported us all along will see the glow of that beautiful gold hoisted over the ring by the one and only most AMERICAN tag team in OCW… AWOL!

 

Jim: Thank you gentlemen, OCW will return for Season 14 with what is sure to be quite the event!

[Code Jackman]

I laughed way too hard at "Cort: Rumblegrounds, I came in at number THREE! People thought it was impossible. Nobody can win from that early!

 

He pauses.

 

Cort: Well they were right"