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TRASHstar


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ACT I

 

We pan into a dark room the camera descends onto Chuck the Camera Guy, the disfigured victim of one of Spider’s past lives.

 

He stands before a sealed cell, we hear wails of pain coming from within.

 

CHUCK: You will pay for everything you’ve done!

 

CHUCK: You will be made Sensational just like Spider!

 

????: Careful now, we need him whole to complete the Requiem.

 

A figure steps out of the darkness, it is the Sensational Spider

 

Spider: After my fellow Sensational Splitters were beaten and sealed away into the Prison Universe, my hand was forced.

 

Spider: I need him to free them, and to finally destroy the Forces of Trash.

 

———

 

We pan into a lounge area, our heroes, the Trash Splitters are hanging around in a locker room backstage.

 

Tiberius Dupree is sitting in a mirror brushing each individual hair on his head with a comically small brush.

 

Mugen is on a 1980’s era brick phone yelling about “business deals”.

 

Ryu Matsumoto, the Scarlet Spider, is looking intently at a chalkboard covered in nonsense and scribbles.

 

Suddenly a man in Priestly Robes kicks down the door an bursts into the room.

 

Our heroes all turn, to look at the man with somewhat confused looks.

 

PRIEST: Gentlemen, I come before you on behalf of The Church of the Infinity Artifacts!

 

PRIEST: My words will never be more worthy than they will be right now, this quest will prove your metal.

 

BETTERNESS: I already hate the sound of this.

 

PRIEST: You already banished two thirds of the Sensational Splitters, but he has recruited one of your ancient enemies to aid him in freeing them.

 

PRIEST: The man with the burned face. Together they’ve kidnapped the lost member of the Trash Splitters, Matsuda, he plans to torture him into using his power to free them and finish you all off.

 

PRIEST: You must rescue your brother!

 

Mugen: You mean Tag-Team Partner?

 

PRIEST: I mean brother!

 

RYU: He means coworker.

 

PRIEST: I MEAN BROTHER

 

BETTERNESS: Can you stop saying “brother”, you’re really making us uncomfortable.

 

PRIEST: You must complete the TrashStar and become Heroes!

 

The camera pans out from the priest to our heroes who are all looking at him skeptically.

 

RYU: Sure, I mean we have nothing better to do, its the off-season.

 

———

 

We pan into the offices of TOLMC, Ryu, Mugen and Dupree are inside Mugen’s Private Executive suite.

 

Ryu is looking around at the multi-leveled atrium style space.

 

RYU: How come I don’t have one of these?

 

Mugen: You said you wanted your name first on the logo and a corner office.

 

RYU: I did say that didn’t I?

 

BETTERNESS: Why are we here anyways?

 

Mugen: Well if we’re gunna save Matsuda we have to find him. So I’ve set the office to locating him.

 

Molly walks into the the suite with a clipboard.

 

Mugen: What have you found?

 

Molly: We’ve set top men to the task but they’ve come up empty handed.

 

Molly: But there’s one hope, we hired out the greatest tracker in the world to find him.

 

Molly: They say he was raised by killer whales. He’s a master of technology and espionage, he can even kill with chopsticks!

 

Mugen: He sounds excellent! This is great, where is he?

 

A man in a suit walks in with a wheelbarrow, there is a heavily decomposed body in it, be dumps the body in front of our heroes.

 

Man: He’s dead

 

BETTERNESS: Gross

 

Mugen: ewwww, throw him in the garbage.

 

RYU: Hold on

 

Ryu inexplicably pulls a latex glove out of his pocket and puts it on with a loud snap. Dupree looks at him incredulous.

 

BETTERNESS: Why do you even have ONE latex glove?!

 

He gingerly pushes the corpse with his foot then pinches his nose with his ungloved hand.

 

He crouches down and reaches into a bloody pocket on the man’s vest near a gaping bloody wound.

 

After rummaging for a few seconds he pulls his hand out and reveals a small piece of metal.

 

RYU: Its a thumb drive!

 

Mugen: What is this 2008?

 

Ryu shrugs

 

———

 

Our heroes sit in front of a massive computer screen the, now washed, thumb drive is plugged in. The screen turns on.

 

It displays Chuck the Camera guy in a very close shot.

 

CHUCK: I see you sent this tracker to kill me and rescue your brother. BUT HE FAILED.

 

Mugen: Why does everyone keep using that word?

 

CHUCK: I’M NOT THE BAD GUY HERE, I’M THE HERO!

 

CHUCK: NOT JUST RYU, Tiberius YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME, YOU’RE WORSE THAN HIM.

 

CHUCK: And Mugen, YOU SCAMMED ME OUT OF MY WORKERS’ COMP

 

Mugen: Hey that was a good investment, he just pulled out early… pause.

 

CHUCK: If you ever want to see him again, you’ll come down and join me where Purgatory Falls!

 

The screen fades to static. Ryu turns over to Mugen and Dupree.

 

RYU: Do you guys understand what that crazy guy means? Maybe its something like a riddle.

 

BETTERNESS: You know after all our adventures, I don’t know if we’re cut out for this hero thing.

 

BETTERNESS: Yeah, we’ve saved the multiverse a hundred times, yeah I’m a multi time champion, yeah we’re each individually multinational economic powerhouses.

 

BETTERNESS: But I’ll never be a hero, I may be better than everyone else, but I’m just a man!

 

RYU: I mean yeah we could not be heroes, but do you even know what its like to be a regular jerk?!

 

MUGEN: Yeah do you want to be some loser with a Marine Psychology Degree talking about Prime Time Television at the water cooler?

 

BETTERNESS: Of course not!

 

BETTERNESS: sigh I guess we have to be heroes.

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ACT II

 

We pan into the Church of the Infinity Artifacts. Our heroes are watching blankly as acolytes are attempting to teach them various martial arts moves.

 

PRIEST: We are running out of time.

 

PRIEST: You’ve been training and you’ve been prepared for the final battle.

 

PRIEST: Bring out the Holy Weapons!

 

A group of Acolytes marches in front of the Priest holding pillows with weapons a top them.

 

PRIEST: Lazer Shooting Pencil.

 

PRIEST: Poison Coated Elbow and Knee Pads.

 

PRIEST: Barbed Wire Boot Laces.

 

PRIEST: Haus of Hoot Gift Cards…

 

The trio looks at the gift cards confused

 

PRIEST: That explode when combined with the polymer.

 

They nod as they recieve all of the weapons

 

PRIEST: As the prophecies have foretold the, Trash and Sensational Stars have been born!

 

PRIESTS: The Infinity Lights are within you all, and when the four are united Evil will be broken.

 

PRIEST: I know that you doubt yourselves! But you don’t have to worry we believe in you!

 

PRIEST: With these holy weapons we believe you can fulfill the prophecy, obtain glory and rescue your Brother…

 

MUGEN: Can you stop using that word? It's really weird.

 

RYU: Yeah, I mean we all work together but we aren’t biolo…

 

The Priest cuts Ryu off pointing his gnarled finger accusingly

 

PRIEST: HOW DARE YOU! You should be ashamed.

 

PRIEST: It is blasphemous what you say! He is your Brother and he is your heart!

 

RYU: But when you say it like that it sounds really gay.

 

PRIEST: You are all selfish bastards! And if you don’t…

 

BETTERNESS: ENOUGH! There will be no more of this “””brother”””stuff.

 

BETTERNESS: We will now go forth and rescue our Coworker as discussed.

 

——

 

The camera pans to our heroes wandering the streets of New York City

 

BETTERNESS: Well where do we go now, that Priest and his church didn’t help us with that.

 

RYU: I’m telling you there has to be some kind of clue in Chuck’s message.

 

MUGEN: Well he really emphasised the phrase “where Purgatory Falls” is that familiar to you guys.

 

Ryu and Dupree’s eyes suddenly get wide

 

MUGEN: What did I say?

 

RYU: Purgatory Falls is the name of the shitty Auditorium we ran a house show at when we first signed at Ambition.

 

BETTERNESS: That's actually not too far from here let's go.

 

———

 

The trio come upon the dilapidated Purgatory Falls Bar and Auditorium.

 

RYU: I remember this place now, it had an awful menu.

 

BETTERNESS: We need to be careful, this place is a hive of scum and mediocrity and den of resentment and jealousy.

 

MUGEN: What do you mean?

 

BETTERNES: The ghosts of our past will definitely be here.

 

RYU: And they’ll be lying in ambush…

 

BETTERNES: Lets get this over with.

 

Our heroes press forward and into the Auditorium. It’s packed to the brim with ghastly forms as our trio had anticipated

 

Mugen points to a graying, fat man, in a dingy moth eaten suit

 

MUGEN: Oh my God! It's our old Agent!

 

Ryu points to a cackle of late middle aged bloated women in clothes that are too tight and revealing

 

RYU: Oh my God! Its all those old Ring Rats!

 

Dupree points to a group of people that look like gym teachers

 

BETTERNESS: Oh my God! The old OCW Trainers!

 

AGENT: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME CAUSE I HELPED YOU! GIVE ME WHAT I’M OWED.

 

HEAD TRAINER: WE TAUGHT YOU ALL THE CUES AND CAMERA ANGLES! THEN YOU LEFT US IN THE WIND!

 

T.Y.O RING RAT: I STUCK WITH YOU ALL AND FED YOU LIKE KINGS! YOU TREAT US ALL LIKE WHORES.

 

The ghouls from the past creep closer to our trio

 

AGENT: Look at you all now, YOU LOOK LIKE BITCHES! I hope you all brought some cash!

 

HEAD TRAINER: YOU OWE US ALL FOR YOUR SUCCESS AND WE’RE GUNNA TAKE IT BACK.

 

Before the Thousand Year Old Ring Rat can advance any further and speak Ryu punches her in the face

 

RYU: We need to retreat!

 

Our heroes make a break for the door, throwing punches, lariats and knees at anyone that gets in their way.

 

Before they make it to the exit a flyer catches Mugen’s eye, he snatches it off the wall and they make their escape

 

BETTERNESS: That's the worst thing I’ve ever known.

 

BETTERNESS: Angry Mediocre People who think that they’re owed.

 

MUGEN: I know where we need to go, I saw this flyer on the wall.

 

Mugen opens the flyer to show an ANCIENT OCWfed Tryout advertisement at a high school gym.

 

RYU: This is where we all tried out for OCW, its not too far from here.

 

BETTERNESS: Lets go.

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ACT II

 

We pan into the Church of the Infinity Artifacts. Our heroes are watching blankly as acolytes are attempting to teach them various martial arts moves.

 

PRIEST: We are running out of time.

 

PRIEST: You’ve been training and you’ve been prepared for the final battle.

 

PRIEST: Bring out the Holy Weapons!

 

A group of Acolytes marches in front of the Priest holding pillows with weapons a top them.

 

PRIEST: Lazer Shooting Pencil.

 

PRIEST: Poison Coated Elbow and Knee Pads.

 

PRIEST: Barbed Wire Boot Laces.

 

PRIEST: Haus of Hoot Gift Cards…

 

The trio looks at the gift cards confused

 

PRIEST: That explode when combined with the polymer.

 

They nod as they recieve all of the weapons

 

PRIEST: As the prophecies have foretold the, Trash and Sensational Stars have been born!

 

PRIESTS: The Infinity Lights are within you all, and when the four are united Evil will be broken.

 

PRIEST: I know that you doubt yourselves! But you don’t have to worry we believe in you!

 

PRIEST: With these holy weapons we believe you can fulfill the prophecy, obtain glory and rescue your Brother…

 

MUGEN: Can you stop using that word? It's really weird.

 

RYU: Yeah, I mean we all work together but we aren’t biolo…

 

The Priest cuts Ryu off pointing his gnarled finger accusingly

 

PRIEST: HOW DARE YOU! You should be ashamed.

 

PRIEST: It is blasphemous what you say! He is your Brother and he is your heart!

 

RYU: But when you say it like that it sounds really gay.

 

PRIEST: You are all selfish bastards! And if you don’t…

 

BETTERNESS: ENOUGH! There will be no more of this “””brother”””stuff.

 

BETTERNESS: We will now go forth and rescue our Coworker as discussed.

 

——

 

The camera pans to our heroes wandering the streets of New York City

 

BETTERNESS: Well where do we go now, that Priest and his church didn’t help us with that.

 

RYU: I’m telling you there has to be some kind of clue in Chuck’s message.

 

MUGEN: Well he really emphasised the phrase “where Purgatory Falls” is that familiar to you guys.

 

Ryu and Dupree’s eyes suddenly get wide

 

MUGEN: What did I say?

 

RYU: Purgatory Falls is the name of the shitty Auditorium we ran a house show at when we first signed at Ambition.

 

BETTERNESS: That's actually not too far from here let's go.

 

———

 

The trio come upon the dilapidated Purgatory Falls Bar and Auditorium.

 

RYU: I remember this place now, it had an awful menu.

 

BETTERNESS: We need to be careful, this place is a hive of scum and mediocrity and den of resentment and jealousy.

 

MUGEN: What do you mean?

 

BETTERNES: The ghosts of our past will definitely be here.

 

RYU: And they’ll be lying in ambush…

 

BETTERNES: Lets get this over with.

 

Our heroes press forward and into the Auditorium. It’s packed to the brim with ghastly forms as our trio had anticipated

 

Mugen points to a graying, fat man, in a dingy moth eaten suit

 

MUGEN: Oh my God! It's our old Agent!

 

Ryu points to a cackle of late middle aged bloated women in clothes that are too tight and revealing

 

RYU: Oh my God! Its all those old Ring Rats!

 

Dupree points to a group of people that look like gym teachers

 

BETTERNESS: Oh my God! The old OCW Trainers!

 

AGENT: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME CAUSE I HELPED YOU! GIVE ME WHAT I’M OWED.

 

HEAD TRAINER: WE TAUGHT YOU ALL THE CUES AND CAMERA ANGLES! THEN YOU LEFT US IN THE WIND!

 

T.Y.O RING RAT: I STUCK WITH YOU ALL AND FED YOU LIKE KINGS! YOU TREAT US ALL LIKE WHORES.

 

The ghouls from the past creep closer to our trio

 

AGENT: Look at you all now, YOU LOOK LIKE BITCHES! I hope you all brought some cash!

 

HEAD TRAINER: YOU OWE US ALL FOR YOUR SUCCESS AND WE’RE GUNNA TAKE IT BACK.

 

Before the Thousand Year Old Ring Rat can advance any further and speak Ryu punches her in the face

 

RYU: We need to retreat!

 

Our heroes make a break for the door, throwing punches, lariats and knees at anyone that gets in their way.

 

Before they make it to the exit a flyer catches Mugen’s eye, he snatches it off the wall and they make their escape

 

BETTERNESS: That's the worst thing I’ve ever known.

 

BETTERNESS: Angry Mediocre People who think that they’re owed.

 

MUGEN: I know where we need to go, I saw this flyer on the wall.

 

Mugen opens the flyer to show an ANCIENT OCWfed Tryout advertisement at a high school gym.

 

RYU: This is where we all tried out for OCW, its not too far from here.

 

BETTERNESS: Lets go.

 

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Welcome to OCW, keep tough skin, speak your mind, and most of all have fun.-Betterness

"I'm going to be brutally honest here guys... all we really need for a good Riot is a few RP's from Our Hero himself... he's an awesome writer!!!" - Smythe

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"Summercide was 2 white girls away from being a cook out" - Cyberbully 2099

" makes me laugh how its gone from all ambition era holding the titles, to 3 guys from 07 holding the main titles..haha

welcome to the 'Pensioner Era' - Parker

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ACT III

 

The camera pans to yet another dilapidated building. This time it is a High School, the camera pans down to show our three heroes standing before it.

 

RYU: This is definitely a set up, they’ll ambush us as soon as we go inside.

 

MUGEN: That's a risk we’re gunna have to take if we want to rescue Matsuda.

 

BETTERNESS: sigh You guys always rope me into this stuff, let’s just get this over with.

 

The trio kick down the front door of the high school and enter

 

———

 

We pan back into the dirty school, some time has passed as the Trash Splitters have been searching the halls and classrooms for any sign of Matsuda

 

MUGEN: All that’s left is the gym, where we had our tryouts.

 

The trio look down the hall to the door to the gym, they make their way through and immediately find themselves surrounded by an army of men and women.

 

Sensational Spider and Chuck the Cameraguy are on the gym’s stage, behind them is the cell that holds Matsuda

 

Spider: SURROUND THEM, Capture them alive!

 

Our trio manages to hold off the initial attempts at grabbing them, however, before they can be overwhelmed the Priest bursts through a window and onto the stage near Spider and Chuck

 

PRIEST: RUN!

 

Ryu nods to Mugen and Dupree and they manage to get away, out of the gym and back into the main school

 

Sensational Spider looks at the Priest with what can only be described as weaponized hatred

 

Spider: You let them get away.

 

PRIEST: I’m not afraid of you.

 

Spider disappears and reappears behind the Priest, he looks directly into the camera and winks at an unseen onlooker, and delivers a blow to the Priest’s back that causes him to crumple to the floor

 

Chuck rushes to the slumped body on the floor to check on it

 

CHUCK: … you killed him…

 

CHUCK: This was never a part of my plan.

 

Spider: This. Was. NEVER. Your. Plan

 

———

 

Ryu, Mugen and Dupree are in a classroom trying to figure out their next course of action

 

RYU: I knew this was a trap, they definitely have the exits covered.

 

MUGEN: This is bad we’re outnumbered and the only way to get to Matsuda is through that army.

 

BETTERNESS: You guys are crazy

 

Ryu and Mugen both look at Dupree blankly as he states the obvious

 

BETTERNESS: All I know, is that if it was me in that cell you guys wouldn’t have done all this.

 

Ryu looks at Dupree, almost offended, he walks over and pushes him roughly

 

RYU: All that glitter has gone to your head.

 

MUGEN: If it were you up there we would have done the same exact thing.

 

Dupree looks at Ryu and Mugen and nods

 

BETTERNESS: Let's do what we came here to do.

 

———

 

We hear loud marching as our heroes burst through the door of the classroom they were hiding out in

 

MUGEN: What’s that sound?

 

RYU: Its the sound of angry wrestlers congregating.

 

The army that Sensational Spider has assembled is made up of failed rookies and wrestlers that have crossed paths with the Trash Splitters

 

BETTERNESS: These guys aren’t our friends; they hate us for never helping them out.

 

RYU: We might be able to take out a lot of them, but there’s too many of them. There’s no way we could fight our way through.

 

BETTERNESS: We gotta think like one of them… what if they had no reason to hate us anymore?

 

MUGEN: Gimme that pen! Let me cut some checks.

 

In an instant Mugen cuts several dozen checks and starts throwing them into the mob

 

MUGEN: Take these and buy some groceries and pay the rent!

 

MUGEN: The only way to get through you is giving back to you!

 

Those that catch the checks cheer and turn to defend our heroes. Ryu takes the Haus of Hoot gift cards and throws them into the crowd.

 

RYU: Take these cards and buy merch to sell to some marks!

 

RYU: We won’t beat you, we’re here to help you!

 

The ones that catch the cards cheer and join the mob defending our heroes. Dupree grabs the gear the Priest had given them, the elbow, knee pads and boot laces and throws it into the mob.

 

BETTERNESS: Take this gear so you can wrestle safe!

 

BETTERNESS: I can’t believe how good it feels to be giving back to you!

 

The last of the mob turns to their side. They grab our heroes and begin crowd surfing them towards their goal.

 

———

 

Our heroes get dropped off back in the gym by their new allies

 

They once again come face to face with the Sensational Spider, but now with unbreakable resolve and a mob at their backs

 

Sensational Spider looks at them with the same malice he showed to the Priest

 

Spider: You… took my Brothers from me!

 

BETTERNESS: We’d rather be lost to the multiverse for all eternity, than let you take OUR Brother.

 

Almost triggered by saying that word, Ryu begins glowing in purple Trash Light, Mugen with the green power of the Income Funnel and Dupree himself with the Golden Glow of Betterness

 

Knowing he’s been beaten, Spider throws Chuck between himself and the Trash Splitters and makes his escape.

 

The light emanating from the Trio merges into a brilliant white flash. The TRASHstar!

 

When the light dissipates we see Chuck kneeling in front of the Trash Splitters, tears streaming down his face

 

CHUCK: I can’t believe what I’ve seen…

 

CHUCK: These are men who have the power of gods… and I tried to bring them down…

 

CHUCK: I’m not the hero, I’m the villain, and it's my turn to go down.

 

As he concludes Chuck flakes away into dust

 

Dupree rushes up to the cell and delivers a knee to the door of the cell blowing it off its hinges

 

Dupree stands at the door of the cell, frozen in what seems to be horror

 

MUGEN: What is it? What did they do to him?

 

BETTERNESS: GOD DAMMIT SPIDER!!! THIS ISN’T MATSUDA, IT'S JUST AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SPIDER IN A WIG

 

Ryu gives a stupid smile and shrugs as the camera fades to black

 

———

 

We fade back into a dark room, Sensational Spider is standing cross armed smiling

 

Spider: Everything went flawlessly on my end, how about you?

 

The Mastermind steps out of the shadows nodding

 

MASTERMIND: It was just as you planned it, yes we had to sacrifice a pawn in Chuck… but what was returned to us…

 

Tiberius Ortiz and Mr. Mugen step out of the Shadows flanking the Mastermind smirking.

 

The Trash and Sensational Splitters Return in Season 14

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MUGEN: Gimme that pen! Let me cut some checks.

 

In an instant Mugen cuts several dozen checks and starts throwing them into the mob

 

MUGEN: Take these and buy some groceries and pay the rent!

 

MUGEN: The only way to get through you is giving back to you!

 

 

So all I had to do to finally get paid was quit?

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