Millionaire's Holiday Beach Spa and Resort

[Antonio Everrett]

It’s a sunny day at Millionaire’s Million Dollar Beach Spa and resort. The light winter breeze is nippy on the skin; not that would ever stop the man himself from enjoying a great day off this holiday season.

 

Johnny: Hey! What’s an overly attractive man gotta do for a drink around here?!

 

The camera cuts in to Johnny Millionaire relaxing on a comically oversized sun-bed, complete with gigantic pillows supporting his elbows. His shades resting dubiously on his head, giant patches of unrubbed sun cream are visible all over his almost naked body, bar some tight speedos and a tanning reflector placed over his shoulders.

 

Servan.. Staff #1: Yes coming right up sir!

 

Muffled footsteps are heard trailing off in the background as Johnny Millionaire lays his head back and lets out a deep sigh of relief.

 

Johnny: Ahhh, this is the life. Absolutely ZERO matches to be worrying about over Christmas. There’s absolutely NOTHING keeping me from spending my well earned VACATION. There are many things on my mind this winter; keeping my tan at its precise shade of mango melody; making assloads of money on my world famous Instagram account selling awful teeth whiteners not even I would dare to use; and of course, buying Christmas presents for everyone I care and love… myself. But the one thing that is definitely NOT on my mind… is wrestling. No more wrestling for Johnny Millionaire in 2019! Finally, no more stupid OCW Live dates, or backstage lollygagging. Just… me time.

 

Staff #2: Your drink sir!

 

Staff #1: By the way sir, I think you dropped this.

 

With his eyes closed, Johnny extends his hand expectantly, waiting for his drink. Instead, he has handed a leaflet, reading ‘OCW Live: December 2 Remember!’ Johnny opens one eye in confusion and begins scanning the page.

 

Johnny: Dropped what? I wasn’t given any stupid OCW leaflet. Hang on…

 

Johnny reads his name on the leaflet.

 

Johnny: OH WHAT THE HELL! And here I was, thinking I could simply enjoy my Christmas off without some goofball handing me this stupid leaflet!

 

Staff #2 (Kareem Franklin): That wasn’t very nice!

 

Johnny: Hang on a minute… I’d recognise that scrawny, whiny bitch’s voice anywhere!

 

Johnny tears the moustache from Kareem’s face, revealing… another moustache. He tears it off again, exposing the much more life-like hair of Kareem’s full beard. Nonetheless, he grabs at the hair of Mr. Franklin, causing him to let out a yelp and forcing Jerome, still wearing his fake moustache, to step in.

 

Johnny turns his attention to the larger man, with a crazed and paranoid stare, and grabs at Jerome’s moustache as well, tearing it off as Jerome resists and shoves back, knocking off his top hat and creating a stand-off situation, as Johnny holds a fistful of fake moustaches.

 

Jerome: Hey man, nobody kicks me in the nuts and gets away with it. You just showin’ us exactly who we been sayin’ you is for weeks now. So why don’t you do yourself a favour and save yourself for OCW Live because you gonna learn to not mess with the real deal ever again!

 

Jerome takes a step forward into Johnny’s personal space. Johnny scrunches up the moustaches and chucks them into the pool.

 

Johnny: SECURITY! Get these rag tag butt munchin’ sunamaguns’ off my Beach Spa and Holiday Resort right now! And make sure non a y’all have any moustaches, I wanna know EXACTLY who you all are!

 

With that, Jerome and Kareem quickly look over their shoulders as movement can be heard getting louder and louder. They turn back and make a break for it. Jerome intentionally barges into Johnny, sending him careening into the pool.

 

Kareem: Haha! That’ll serve you right you damn pansy! See you at OCW Live: December 2 Remember, hahaha!

 

With that, the pair disappear off into the shadows somewhere within the Holiday Beach Spa and Resort. The camera cuts back to Johnny shouting obscenities at his security as the scene fades out.