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WhereCulture Wrestling: Colin Locke Interview

Colin Locke

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Colin is sitting opposite a fairly young looking man in a news room/recording studio hybrid; there are several microphones in place, and behind them is an array of Wrestling merchandise with a large sign in the centre that reads ‘WhereCulture Wrestling’.


Aaron: Hello! You are watching WhereCulture, I’m Aaron Williams, and with us today, we have a special guest. I believe he’s just flown in this morning, in fact, and we’re really excited to have him with us, OCW’s Colin Locke is gonna answer a few questions and have a talk with us here today!


Colin: Thanks for the introduction, Aaron, really happy to be here. Now, to open up discussions, I’ve gotta ask, during a full moon, do you reckon they go out to the club in wolf form, or do you reckon they avoid the moon, and then celebrate not becoming a wolf in person form? At the club, that is?


Aaron looks bewildered, but Colin is fully committed to this train of thought.


Aaron: I’m not entirely sure what you’re getting at, this is WhereCulture Wrestling?


Colin: WereCulture?


Aaron: Is this a ‘The Most Recent Blacksmith’ situation?


Colin: Maybe. That was a pretty good episode, your guy gave it an ‘Up’, really pleased with that one.


Sitting up in his seat a little, Aaron raises an eyebrow, obviously surprised that Colin knows about the channel.


Aaron: I didn’t take you for a regular viewer! I know you’ve only recently come into wrestling, having found a contract in a storage lot, I think I’m right about that?


Colin: Wasn’t even my contract, it was great. But yeah, I mean, you’ve gotta learn fast, and finding out about this channel early on really helped me revise, get to know what I need to be doing, it’s been a massive help.


Aaron: We’ve seen a bit of that on TV, you were working with The Wrestling Club to get some 'real wrestling' moves in your repertoire before your Ambition match with Code Jackman.


Colin shrugs and vaguely gestures as if to say ‘Not really’ before replying.


Colin: We had that one session where they insulted The Kernel and showed me a rest hold, other than that, I’ve been doing my own thing, it’s worked so far. Basically, I’m hoping to continue the run I’ve been on, as you know, I’ve not been pinned this season, and, yeah, I wanna continue that when I go back to America to face Archer and whoever else they’re gonna throw at me-


As Colin talks, Aaron’s smile widens, and he reaches under the desk to retrieve something, which Colin only half-registers as he goes on. As Colin finishes, Aaron holds up a Locke & Key T shirt, and shows it proudly to the camera.


Colin: Oh what, I didn’t even realise they were selling those here!


Aaron: We’ve got a few Locke & Key supporters here up north, in fact, I don’t know if you’re aware, but your people actually sponsored one of our podcasts, and-


Colin: Ah yeah, I remember that, I did that. Really, the Locke & Key crew only prepare the surprises and do the camera crew-y stuff, I’ll always support things going on around here, I mean this is where Locke & Key started before OCW, right? Luckily Archer hasn’t come for the UK yet, so I’ve still got a lot of places here. I’m actually aiming to grab a few lots in Tyne and Wear while I’m about, see if I can help anyone out, disrupt the big guys a little bit.


Aaron: Pride Champion with a business empire, that’s definitely a ‘big guy’.


Colin: Current Pride Champion.


Colin cocks his head to the side for a moment as if he’s about to choose his next few words very carefully.


Colin: I mean, as much I’d love a proper bash at it, and I’m in a great position to go for it, I think Archer’s got one person just in front of me in the queue. If he can deal with them, well, then he’s in trouble, right? But until then, I’m reckoning the guy’s gotten too big for his boots. Doesn’t matter who’s gotta do it, he’s gonna lose that thing that holds his trousers up, then I’m gonna take my storage lots back.


Aaron listens, but as Colin goes on, Aaron’s attentive smile turns to a slight grimace of concern, which Colin notices. He gives Aaron an inquisitive ’what are you thinking?’ look before giving him a nod, gesturing for Aaron to expand on his expression.


Aaron: Well, Archer… He’s a big lad isn’t he? He’s a big guy! And, while you’re mostly a brawler, your coup-de-gras, if you like, is that massive scoop slam. Do you ever worry that against a bigger opponent, you’re gonna just get dominated and not be able to get your slam off against them?


Colin: Oh, mate.


Colin lets out a laugh, leaning back in his chair.


Colin: Oooh, mate. Yeah, that’s a terrifying thought, isn't it? Especially since the guy’s threatened to take out my legs either before or during the match, and, as everyone who’s done a UK health and safety course in manual labour knows, they’re what does the lifting. My best bet, honestly, is to conserve energy, focus on the brawling, as you say, but not try anything silly until I’ve gotta lift him. I’ve got a lot of explosive strength for that kind of stuff, yeah, but I obviously can’t carry and parade him around for ages. If he can cut my legs out of the game, or if he can force me to wear myself out early, oh god yeah, I am done. But, until he does that, I’m still in it. I’ve gotta believe I’m still in it, surely.


Aaron: Well, whatever happens, I really hope you can come back afterwards and talk about it with us.


Colin: Oh god, yeah.


Aaron: I’ve gotta ask though, one last question… Can you say the line? You know, the one that might tell the viewers what to do over the holidays?


Immediately understanding, Colin leans into the microphone and beckons for the camera to come closer.


Colin: Until the new year, WhereCulture fans, Colin Locke fans, and all other ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between as long as you aren’t Thomas Archer. I want you to keep it under Locke & Key this holiday, take it easy and have a proper rest.


Aaron and Colin shake hands and share a few words with each other as the camera fades out, and an advert for something irrelevant threatens to start for everyone not using an Adblocker.

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