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A Day In The Life: The Country Bumpkin PT. 1


Hanzo Yamashida

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On a cold & snowy Monday the camera pans onto a modern home, inside is OCW’s own Hanzo Yamashida.

 

Hanzo:It’s nice to finally have some time to relax, especially since the weather has been horrible lately.

 

Hanzo has a phone in one hand scrolling Twitter & a fork with eggs in the other minutes later a text appears at the top of the phone from an unfamiliar number

 

Hanzo reads off the text & it seems to be OCW management calling him in for a meeting.

 

Hanzo:This must be urgent.

 

Hanzo frantically throws on his winter coat & takes the car out to the address given.

 

As Hanzo gets closer & closer he notices he’s in the country … in the distance you can see farmland & a large man wearing clothing definitely not in line with the weather and a red MAGA hat.

 

Hanzo:What the hell is this!

 

JackMo walks up to the car with a smirk on his face & a beer in hand

 

JackMo: Hey there buddy. You might be a little los...Oh man! Hanzo! You actually came. I can’t believe that text message thing would work. Park over there by the red pickup and then come to the main house. I've got something for you!

 

Jackson runs off to a small building with smoke billowing out of the stack on top. Hanzo, clearly irritated by the whole situation, follows Jackson’s instructions and parks by the red truck. Hanzo slings the door open and it hits the truck, putting a dent in the already dented door but worse, gets red paint transferred to his fancy car door.

 

Hanzo: Aw shit. You’ve got to be kidding me!

 

Hanzo gets out and looks at the damage. You can’t even tell the truck was hit, but his car is now scratched and dented. Jackson comes back over and see Hanzo leaned over his car door.

 

JackMo: Aw man don’t worry about that. It’ll buff out, I’m sure of it.

 

Hanzo just sighs and closes the door. He walks to the back of the car and leans against it.

 

Hanzo: Why did you call me here? Also, how are you not cold? Those shorts look like they belong to a woman!

 

Jackson looks down at his attire. No shirt with an apron on that says ‘Kiss my Shrimp!’ and short, very short, denim cut offs and his tried and true cowboy boots. Jackson does a little spin before taking off his MAGA hat and slumping it down to his side.

 

JackMo: What’s wrong with my clothes? Also, these shorts DO belong to a woman.

 

Jackson begins to regale Hanzo with a story from the night before where he ran into a pretty little thing that can only be described as a female Jackson Montgomery. As he goes on with the details, you can see Hanzo’s face start to recoil in disgust.

 

JackMo: And when we were out of cocktail sauce and honey mustard, she slapped me on the ass and sent me on my way! HAHAHA! I stole these on the way as a keepsake. Fit me pretty good too.

 

Jackson kind of twists his body to show the shorts off. Hanzo pushes off the car and begins waving his hands in the air.

 

Hanzo: White flag man. I’m waving the white flag. I don’t want to hear this mess. I can’t believe I’ve stayed this long.

 

JackMo: Wait! Don’t leave yet. I invited you here to show there are no hard feelings about what you said the other day. I wanted you to try my boudin Shrimp Ramen I was talking about! I got a big pot going now in the house.

 

Jackson points to the aforementioned small building. Hanzo looks past Jackson’s shoulder and, again, recoils in disgust.

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