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Ice Cold Exam


TheDirtyMac

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“The Iceman” Nate Mac is laying face down on a VA doctor’s examining table, an ultrasound is being performed on his lower back and judging from the look on the face of the doctor, something isn’t kosher. Marisa Welch-Mac quietly and anxiously observes as the exam continues.

 

Doctor: Well, Mr. Mac, it looks like everything from the previous surgery is still intact. However, there does appear to be a severe strain of the lower back, did you fall off an aircraft carrier again or something?

 

Marisa scoffs then eagerly jumps in to answer before The Iceman can respond: No! He decided to ignore everyone’s warnings and tried leaping across the damn ring like a spider monkey! I thought he was going to break his damn neck! In fact, I’ve even told him…

 

Iceman shoots his darling wife a visual dart and she abruptly ceases her sudden outburst of verbal diarrhea.

 

Doctor I see…. Well Mr. Mac, unless you want to find yourself back in that wheelchair, you might not want to attempt those death defying maneuvers anymore. I know nothing I say will make you reconsider your current profession, but please, sir, try to stay grounded. the Dr. Glances at Marisa briefly and gives her a warm smile and sly wink We don’t want anymore slicing and dicing on that spine now do we? Ok, I’ll set you up with a referral to physical therapy, a follow up and a prescription for the pain, you can pick it up…

 

Iceman interjects: Naw, I’m good. I’ll take the PT but keep them pills, I got that natural remedy, the doctor tries to interrupt but Mac continues on Dig it. Thanks Doc, that will be all! See ya in a few weeks.

 

The doctor suddenly aware of the stubbornness Marisa must deal with on a daily basis, leaves dejected as another vet dismisses his “expert opinion” (he probably got it from community college,l anyway. You know the government ain’t payin real doctors to take care of veterans and active military, come on now….)

 

Iceman looks to his beautiful wife: you know if it wasn’t for that Joana Blackheart Bitch!!

 

Marisa it’s Joana Silver babe.

 

Iceman looking confused: are you sure? I thought the other one was Silver. Well, regardless! I felt the pull when I went for the Celsius Drop,you know I make three times that distance, but then when Maxx hit me with the Climaxx… I still can’t feel the toes on my left foot.

 

Iceman grimaces a little as he adjusts and sits up and resets himself: But yeah… that bitch is a lot stronger than she looked. She’s lucky the Iceman is a gentleman, dig it, and doesn’t put hands on women like every other dude in OCW.

 

Marisa stands next to her husband and helps him stand and gain his balance. The numbness and tingling down the Iceman’s left leg is like burning nails being driven into every inch of his long limb. Although Mac is accustomed to absorbing severe amounts of pain, an uninvited familiar affliction creeps back into his life, one he never wanted to feel again.

 

Iceman: Let’s go baby, I’m hungry. Let’s go get some tacos,dig it.

 

Marisa wraps her arm around her husbands waist and they leave the VA headed for Tacos El Bronco in Brooklyn for some carnitas.

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