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Post Lution

Iceberg LeTuce

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*The scene opens in the living room of OCW superstar Iceberg Le’Tuce. He is sitting in a purple, fur-lined sofa with his head hooker (no pun intended) Eva Hotolova. They are watching the OCW Future Investment match, which is followed by highlights from the attack that took place earlier that night.*


Le’Tuce: “Lead pipes hurt. That’s the only thing I think about when I think of Wrestlution.”


Eva: “Aw come on champ, it could be worse. Well, I don’t see how, but I’m sure it could.”


Le’Tuce:You don’t quite know how to make people feel better, do you?”


Eva: “No, these emotions mean nothing to me. Anyway, what are you going to do now?”


Le’Tuce: “I honestly have no idea. I deserved my place in that match as much as anyone and it was taken away by some bitter little kid who wanted a better chance of winning. Fat lot of good it did him.”


Eva: “Jesus, you know as well as anyone that OCW doesn’t give a crap about whiney idiots that sit back and do nothing. You gotta get out there, win some pride, show them why you deserve to be at the top of the food chain!”


Le’Tuce: *Standing up* “You’re right!”


Eva: “You’ll probably just go and job again.”


Le’Tuce: *Sitting down* “Why do I still employ you? In fact, why do I even let you on the furniture?”


Eva: “You’re scared of me that’s why.”


*Eva pulls her fist back, faking a punching motion, to which Le’Tuce dives behind the sofa*


Le’Tuce: “I hate you”


*The scene fades as Eva stretches out on the sofa*

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