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Posted

Today is a very important day for DG Jeryko as OCW main headquarters are handing out gimmicks for all the newbies. Jeryko has set his alarm for the crack of dawn as everyone knows all the cool gimmicks, such as red neck badass, rockstar, monster, tough guy etc go immediately where as less favorable gimmicks like homosexual-esque, retard and Jonathan Coachman go to those last in line.

 

As Jeryko awaits in his slumber for his alarm to raise him from his sleep as he does he dreams of less happier times wrestling in Japan under the moniker "Spartus" a camp Roman gimmick he was given as a consequence of loosing a bet, a bet he later found was rigged.

 

Jeryko rises from his slumber only to realize he's slept through his alarm and that he's 2 hours late. He rushes out of the house not even changing from his Spongebob square pants pyjamas down to OCW headquarters.

 

Upon arrival the grim truth dawned on Jeryko that he was literally 'Last in line the day they were handing out gimmicks'. The queue was already starting the die down to the last few people and Jeryko could see the people at the front of the queue were already beginning slap their foreheads in disbelief at the hand fate had dealt them.

 

The guy in front of Jeryko turned around with a grave look on his face:

 

Wrestler: Oh god we're going to be the next Spirit Squad, I fucking know it... that or Right to Censor.

Jeryko: Dude, do you think those guys were behind Billy and Chuck in the gimmick line?

Wrestler: Oh god, we're fucked.

 

As both men approached the counter they could see other men literally turning around in tears. People could be heard screaming things like "A Clown a fuckin CLOWN!!" and "What the fuck does a Pig farmer have to do with wrestling??!? and why do I have to be naked?"

 

Jeryko resigned to his fate took a deep breath and continued down the queue. The man in front finally got to the desk looked at his card and turned around to Jeryko.

Wrestler: Well at least we're not going to be a Gay tag team.

 

He holds his gimmick up to Jeryko, on the card is written:

 

Gimmick Name: Ku Klux Man

Gimmick Description: Devout Catholic and devout racist.

Jeryko: Dear god.

 

The man walks off with his head in his hands looking for the nearest bar. Jeryko turns around and approaches the desk. A stern looking woman glares at him disapprovingly and hands him the last card. Jeryko takes another deep breath and looks at the card.

 

Jeryko: Whu... what this card is blank?

 

Gimmick Official: Yes well you see we've had so many applicants recently we literally ran out of ideas by the time we got to you.

Jeryko: So what does this mean? I have no gimmick?

 

Gimmick Official: Well to be honest Mr Jeryko I'm not really sure, we actually just lost interest at this point. I tell you what write down whatever you want and we'll approve it for you.

Jeryko realizing this is the opportunity of a lifetime quickly tries to think up the ultimate gimmick. Words such as "Ninja", "Superhero" and "Robot" whizz through Jeryko's head but he can't decide as he's knows how thickle the fans can be. Suddenly he has a flash of inspiration and jots something down and quickly hands it to the official. The official looks at the card:

 

Gimmick Official: I'm sorry this one's already been.... oh wait "Man of 1001 Gimmicks!" what exactly does this mean?

 

Jeryko: It means I can come out dressed as whatever I want that's my gimmick, that I have no gimmick.... or lots of gimmicks.... get it?

 

Gimmick Official: Not really but I couldn't care less, go for your life.

 

The Gimmick official processes the card and hands it back to Jeryko. Jeryko rushes back home to put together an array of costumes to compliment his current Gimmicks.

http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/5222/dansigdx9.png

Posted
Gimmick Name: Ku Klux Man

Gimmick Description: Devout Catholic and devout racist.

Jeryko: Dear god.

 

LMAO

 

NIce Dg, look forward each week to your costume party.

Dane Xavier: cyber bullying is not only illegal, it's pathetic

 

 

 

"I swear to go if you call me a Liberal again you RETHUGLICAN, SEE WHAT I DID THERE.

 

This is america, if you want to throw your hard earned sweat money on a videogame gambling site and thus deny you and your family food and shelter THAN BY GOD DAMMIT YOU CAN, BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA YOU COMMIE SOCIALIST.

 

 

Now then when Can I expect your next donation?

 

"- Jay Jay

 

 

 

Double A

is

"The Weapon

Of

Mass

Consumption"

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