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I Have A Dream

Jacob Trance

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Time: 9:34PM ET

Location: 3157 Sublette Avenue, St. Louis, MO, United States




Police Officer: "Sir, do you mean to tell us that vicious attack was all staged?


Jacob Trance sighs, rubbing at this temples.


Jacob Trance: "Of course, wrestling is fake, is it not?"


The police officer taps his pen on his notebook. It was a serious assault, but it happened within a wrestling ring, its tricky to nail anything down.


Jacob Trance: "I see you're doubting yourself, that's kind of funny officer... Do you have a wife and kids?"


The officer begins to grow uncomfortable, not wanting his personal life to be dragged into his business.


Police Officer: "Look Mr. Trance, we simply want the truth, was this part of the show, or was the... competition... over?"


Jacob begins to laugh, head tilting to one side.


Jacob Trance: "There is no competition, people get in my way, and I don't have time for them. I was merely removing an obstacle, but it was part of the show, well, my show."


Police Officer: "Your show?"


Jacob Trance: "Yes officer, my show."


Jacob leans forward, banging the cuffs hard on the desk, the general bustle of the station is blocked out due to the holding cell.


Jacob Trance: "You see, you probably know how it feels to watch people cosy up to your superiors, have them promoted, get the big office, the better pay whilst you... You have to interview scumbags and criminals, but that's not me officer. What's your name, officer?"


Police Officer: "Barnaby."


Jacob Trance: "Pleasure to meet you Mr. Barnaby, I'm... I guess you could call me your awakening. I can see it in your eyes, raw hatred. You hate the fact you spend all day talking to people who do bad things. That's not why you became a cop, you became a cop to save the world but instead its the dickheads that get all the glory. Much like wrestling, you see what I done to that Chris Mania fellow? That's simply what's been done to me all along."


Police Officer: "Is that a confession Jacob?"


Jacob Trance: "Oh it is Barnaby, I assaulted a man in a professional wrestling ring, a place you have to sign an agreement to enter... So if you can pin that on me somehow... Feel free."



Barnaby pushes his chair back and leaves the room, he does not say a word.


Jacob Trance: "Oh look, my name is Officer Barnaby and I'm a jack off that runs away without telling his captor what's going on..."


Jacob begins fiddling with the handcuffs as if trying to get free, suddenly Barnaby returns and he sits bolt upright, trying to look innocent.


Barnaby: "I'm afraid.... We have to let you go."


Jacob hops to his feet, holding out his hands, grinning.


Jacob Trance: "Thank the lord, I'm free at last, a regualr Christmas miracle!"


And with that, Jacob is free, the acts of Chill Factor deemed legal, all because it was in a wrestling ring.

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Officer Barnaby is an idiot, if he was a true gumshoe then he'd know your guilty of many other crimes,


Like stealing food from starving children.


Threatening employees at Big & Tall.


Holding up the Cheetos Cheetah at gunpoint just to lick his fingers.


And lets not forget the whale incident.


Stupid Barnaby!

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"You either die a hero or live long enough to become Nate Ortiz" - Drago Cesar


"Let me make myself clear: you work for me. If I tell you to fight Blaine, you fight Blaine. Hell, if I tell you to fight a lion, you WILL fight a lion and still thank me afterwards for giving you a job." - Mr. Sensation

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