As the camera fades in, we see a man wearing a hoodie with the hood up, standing with his back to the camera. After a short moment, the man lets out a loud exhale and turns around to reveal The Steve.

 

The Steve: You see these bloodshot eyes... (The Steve then hold up a sheet of paper with medical test results on it. Upon further inspection, it's the results from a fertility test.) ...and these test results that says that The Steve has no swimmers left? Northern Lights strain #17.

 

The Steve starts to cough violently. After a moment, he finally stops and spits a loogie on the floor.

 

The Steve: You see that black loogie on the floor? Camel non-filters.

 

The Steve lifts his hoodie to expose his rotund midsection.

 

The Steve: You see this gut? Hardees and In-And-Out Burger.

 

The Steve: I am The Steve, and The Steve is...in need of a doctor.

Sandbag lungs.

The Steve is OCW's Randy The Ram

Hardee's and In 'N Out? You travel a long ways for your food.