OCW.com Exclusive Interview

[Illuminati]

The OCW logo fades into a small interview room. One small couch a large, out of place velvet armchair, and a small coffee table are set up in front of The OCW.com backdrop. Trisha Waldrop is seated in the couch with a stack of cards in one hand, Illuminati is sat in the other, in his ring attire, a velvet robe matching the chair, and a fez holding a cup of tea and saucer.

 

TRISHA WALDROP: Hello ladies and gentleman and welcome to an OCW.com exclusive interview with OCW's own Illuminati. Welcome Illuminati.

 

Illuminati sets his cup of tea down gently and sits back in the large armchair.

 

ILLUMINATI: Thank you for that introduction Trisha. I'm not only pleased to be back in OCW but I'm quite [illuminati take an uncomfortably long pause] excited to be here at this interview.

 

Trisha shifts uncomfortably in her chair

 

TRISHA: Well Illuminati, we all recall your interview with my colleague Stacy Clark, earlier this week, during which you mentioned "Illuminati's Plan". [Trisha pauses nervously] Now I know you were... uncomfortable with revealing that to Stacy, but do you have any hints for us going forward.

 

ILLUMINATI: [chuckling] Well, well, well Trisha that, now that is a very funny question; and I know that this may be a [makes air quotes] a faux pas [audibly laughs] but I'm going to answer with a question of my own. Is that alright with you Trishy-poo?

 

Trisha is now visibly uncomfortable but she nods

 

TRISHA: [nervously] Thats completely fine, whatever makes you happy.

 

ILLUMINATI: Oh, I ALWAYS do what makes me happy, Trishy-poo, and I'm glad you agree. Anyhow, my question is who can you really trust in OCW?

 

TRISHA: What do you mean?

 

ILLUMINATI: Let me elaborate, [stifles a laugh] I may have many faces, Illuminati, Spider, Black Spider, Pink Spider, and Ryu Matsumoto, but I am always an advocate freedom and I have always been the fans greatest ally.

 

TRISHA: Not many people on the roster would see it that way, throughout your career you've always been what some might call an agent of chaos, bringing insanity and chaos with you wherever you go.

 

ILLUMINATI: [laughs maniacally] Exactly, a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. [illuminati stands up and begins, almost proudly] What is chaos, if not freedom in its most pure form.

 

TRISHA: So is that Illuminati's Plan? To plunge OCW into chaos? What does that have to do with Dupree and Matsuda.

 

Illuminati jumps up onto the coffee table, his fez flying off, he leans over so that he is face to face with Trisha, after letting out a manic laugh he continues.

 

ILLUMINATI: You couldn't even begin to understand Illuminati's Plan Trisha, and what you all fail to understand, is that Matsuda and Dupree are FOREVER bound to me. They are your heroes, your idols GREATNESS and OVERNESS.

 

As Trisha leans back in her chair it tips over. In an instant Illuminati is face to face with the camera, the only thing visible to the viewer is the smile on his mask.

 

ILLUMINATI: But after Lution you'll all see that theres no such thing as Overness, theres no such thing as Greatness. All that exists in this world is

 

MADNESS

 

The screen cuts to static and all that can be heard is Illuminati laughing as the feed suddenly cuts.

[Jacob Trance]

I give up trying to post a video.