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Weekly Greek Jericho: Volume 2!


Bray

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DISCLAIMER: Weekly Greek Jericho is not a personal reflection of the man behind the gimmick- ah fuck am I kidding, I hate every single one of you. Except Beasle 17. My love for him exceeds all leaps and bounds. Maybe Flower too, we're having marital problems right now. Can't hate Sophia, Ace loves her. Literally. Anyway, on with the show, maggots.

 

PS. Someone make a counter of how many times I say "fuck". Gotta keep track.

 

A sturdy iPhone camera comes online to show a barely furnished bedroom with a sign reading "NO JACKS ALLOWED" hanging on the door. The camera pans to the right and shows a raggedy bed Ace, dressed in a "I Heart Women" t-shirt and khakis, while Bray, sitting next to her, is still covered in bruises and dents and maggots and everything you can dream of when you get beaten to death.

 

Ace: Hiii everybody!! Welcome back to Weekly Greek Jericho, the BEST and FUNNEST show on OCW non-television!

 

Bray S. Spur: Fuck the fucking Watering Hole!

 

Ace: Fuck the Watering Hole. I'm Ace, your Crown Jewel of OCW, betta than that ho of that so-called "queen" Turmoil has, and sitting next to me-

 

She puts her arm around Bray's shoulder, which immediately makes the superstar groan in horror.

 

Ace: Is the best thing off OCW television right now, my bruvva, Bray S. MOTHAFUCKIN SPUR!!!

 

Bray S. Spur: OOOHH YEAHH!! Aight mothafuckas, we're back in here. Weekly Greek Jericho, Volume 2! The show so fucking edgy that we can't even get on television if we wanted to. But it's alright, fuck television! After the rave reviews from the last show, all of which FOUR FUCKIN PEOPLE LIKED ON SOCIAL MEDIA!

 

He points to the camera.

 

Bray S. Spur: DENNIS, SOPHIA, EVERYBODY ELSE, I SEE Y'ALL NOT LIKIN MY SHIT! But it's cool! Second I see y'all, we gonna run this fade in the streets my peeps.

 

Ace: Damn disrespectful. These people racist, ain't they?

 

Bray S. Spur: Now now, we know these people aren't stupid enough to be racist on live television, am I right?

 

Gentlemen's Club Segment

 

Bray and Ace stare at the screen in blasphemy as Bray drops the remote on the floor.

 

Both: Hol..... Le...... Fuck....

 

Ace: Savage... or nah?

 

Bray S. Spur: That's savage? Where I grew up, being a savage got you killed.

 

Ace: Should I put the hit out?

 

Bray S. Spur: Nah, let 'em off the hook for now.

 

Ace: Next.

 

Amber Fowler vs Casey Garrett

 

Ace: Hot damn. Bout time she won a match.

 

Bray S. Spur: You beat the skill back into her. Good work.

 

Ace: [frisking her hair] I do my best.

 

Jordan Jax Segment

 

Bray S. Spur: Who in the Sam hell in this catchphrase having motherfucker?

 

Ace: At least he has a catchphrase, or many.

 

Bray S. Spur: Believe.... THAT!! NEXT!

 

Beasle 17 Segment

 

Bray S. Spur: My lovely Beasle is having bitch problems again?

 

Ace: Get her ass, B....

 

Sophia Segment

 

Bray S. Spur: What's up with everyone and family nowadays? Got the best fucking family sitting at home!!

 

Ace: [whispering] I should be there....

 

Bray S. Spur: Sis, when I get healed up, you can go after Sophia and you two can fuck all you want! Right now, review!!

 

Trance and Loki Segment

 

Bray S. Spur: Hehe, I beat them both so bad I made them become a couple... a dumb fucking one at that.... Stupid idiots.

 

Ace: Nice one, Greek Jericho...

 

Vincent Winters vs Shane Scott

 

Ace: Who does that Michael Jackson lookin motherfucker think he is, stealing MY ENTRANCE POSE!?!? And that song!?!?

 

Bray S. Spur: I thought it was pretty cool.

 

Seb and Ginger Segment

 

Bray S. Spur: Fucking fuck fucker back ass twaddle racist quarter fucker fuckin-

 

Watering Hole Segment

 

Ace: Cactus is really stepping up with this show th-

 

Bray S. Spur: FUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!

 

Ace: What's wrong!?!?!?

 

Bray S. Spur: ..... Fuck Senpai not letting me have my show.

 

Ace: Madison and Dennis are starting to annoy the Crown Jewel...

 

Bray S. Spur: Aw hell, don't you start talking like that.

 

Amber Fowler Segment

 

Ace: Damn right you fell apart!!

 

The siblings high five each other.

 

Dustin White vs Kassidy Hayes

 

Bray reaches over to the desk on his left and grabs a knife and starts to stroke it.

 

Ace: Br-... Braylin?

 

Bray S. Spur: Hm?

 

Ace: Whatcha doing?

 

Bray S. Spur: Thinking about how I'm going to kill Kass, then castrate him, then mutilate him, then probably feed him to the bears.

 

Ace: ..... Okay.

 

Adam Adams Segment

 

Bray S. Spur: Good kid...... good kid.

 

Jordan Jax vs Loki McGregor

 

Both: You.... fucking.... idiot.

 

Austin Lee Segment

 

Bray S. Spur: Sid is lucky he has friends...

 

Ace: But you have me!!

 

Bray S. Spur: .....You made that sound so weird than it should've, sis.

 

Ace: Sorry....

 

Sophia Segment

 

Bray S. Spur: Those BASTARD ASSHOLES.... that was a good fuckin phone!

 

Ace: I'll buy her a new phone!!

 

Bray S. Spur: Be my guest.

 

Beasle 17 vs the Convoy

 

Bray S. Spur: Oh no, my dear sweet Beasle got himself into a pickle, didn't he?

 

Trance and Loki Segment

 

Ace: They seem kinda cute together.

 

Bray S. Spur: If you count deranged and demented and idiotic as cute, then sure.

 

Convoy Segment

 

Bray S. Spur: Dude fuck handicap matches, just get disqualified in that bitch and call it a day.

 

Main Event

 

Bray S. Spur: So this hillbilly lookin motherfucker main events Turmoil before me?..... This dude has the sauce.

 

Jackson Segment

 

Ace: Poor Jackson.

 

Bray S. Spur: Even after I helped his ass.... I need to make a call.

 

Post Match RP

 

Bray S. Spur: I could've helped him....

 

Ace: This was ordered kinda funny, wasn't it?

 

Bray S. Spur: Yeah it was. Dammit Leon...

 

Contract Signing

 

Bray S. Spur: If Dennis doesn't beat Malu, but I did, I solidify my claim that, uh, he's a black cock. The end.

 

Ace: And that was Weekly Greek Jericho, and....

 

Ace takes a look at Bray's doctor's notes.

 

Ace: Wait a minute.... I thought you were supposed to be out of action for up to 10 months?

 

Bray S. Spur: .....Jinx?

 

Ace: Then how come this has you set for-

 

Bray S. Spur: Come back next week if Turmoil doesn't bore the shit outta me! Most likely it will because typing this shit ain't easy.

 

Ace: Typing?.. Type what?

 

Bray S. Spur: Fuck it. Camera off!

 

The camera falls off the stand it was set on and eventually flickers off.

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"It's like the number zero...It's empty, but at the same time it holds infinite possibilities." - Igor
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Go fuck yourself with a poison ivy covered broom handle.

 

 

 

 

 

P.s. Your work is appreciated.

"Amatuer cheat hunter, Resident OCWFED historian, Lover of spreadsheets, data and HOI, MASTER OF THE GOKART"

*I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHANGE MY PROFILE!*

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