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Scene opens up in the middle of a small village deep in the heart of the Calakmul jungle in Mexico. Smoke rises from a fresh explosion and as the star of 'Risen Again' turns and walks towards the camera.

 

Cactus: CUT! CUT! CUT!!!

 

Cactus angrily stands up from his producers chair and looks around at the crew. A small monkey sits on his shoulder holding a mostly smoked cigar.

 

Cactus: THAT'S A WRAP!

 

Cactus begins to clap as the rest of the crew joins in - monkey included.

 

Cactus: Great job everyone. Seriously great job! Yes, great job these past few weeks, great job. No, not you - you suck, but everyone else - great job.

 

Cactus' star of his move 'Risen Again' walks up.

 

Cactus: Mr. Walker you're no B-17, but...

 

As Cactus was complimenting his star, the very mention of B-17's name caused him to collapse into a deep sleep. Monkey slaps his forehead.

 

Cactus: Outstanding! I didn't know he was a Turmoil fan.

 

Cactus: Someone get that man some juice! And a signed Water Hole poster while you're at it.

 

Cactus: And take damn monkey! You'd swear I am some second rate...

 

Cactus uncomfortably looks around.

 

Cactus: Never mind, just get this crap cleaned up. I've got a plane to catch.

 

Cactus puts on his shades and begins to walk towards his trailer when interrupted by an intern.

 

Intern: Mr. Cactus.

 

Cactus: What Monkey!

 

Intern: Excuse me Mr. Cactus, but it's 2016. I don't think you can say that.

 

Cactus quickly takes off his sun glasses.

 

Cactus: Wait. Are you serious? I mean, I didn't mean anything by it.

 

Intern: I'd advise against it, yes sir. Oh and you have a phone call.

 

The intern hands Cactus a satellite phone.

 

Cactus confusingly answers: Hello?

 

The voice on the other end sounds excited, muffled and slightly paranoid with a side of psychotic.

 

Cactus: Jack?

 

Catching himself, Cactus realizes that someone make understand who he's talking to.

 

Cactus: I mean.. Umm, Julius.

 

Cactus putting his hand over his mouth and whispers: No - it's not too urban just go with it.

 

Cactus: Wait, what are you saying? You're talking too fast.

 

Cactus: Jules, slow down.

 

Cactus: Wait.. Who's God?

 

Cactus: Hold on. We're doing what now?

 

Cactus: Yes, yes, I am on my way. Ok.

 

Cactus hangs up the phone and hands it back to the intern before putting on his sun glasses and turning to leave.

 

Intern: Mr. Gauge, where are you going?

 

Cactus turns back towards the intern.

 

Cactus: It's showtime.

 

Cactus rolls his shoulders and flashes the Hollywood smile.

 

Cactus: Oh, and please accept my apology with the monkey stuff.

 

As Cactus walks off into the smoke when the intern interrupts.

 

Intern: Did you just apologize?

 

Cactus sighs.

 

Cactus: Ya, it's a new Cacti coming to town. Time to get to work.