Confidence in the System

[Bobby Minio]

The sound of paper shuffling and crackling opens the scene a split second before the visual setting joins in. A camera cuts through the glaring path of the neon lights, flickering at a pace that the camera can just about pick up. The camera turns into a room where The One Man Revolution, Bobby Minio, sits at the foot end of an examination bed. He is staring down at the seat, shifting uncomfortably on the sanity paper covering the pleather cushion. After a moment, a man appears in the doorway of the room, the doctor.

 

Bobby Minio: I feel like a cold cut.

 

Minio lifts the paper from the examination bed, but the doctor no sells his remark, barrelling through.

 

Doctor: Mr. Minio, you have to make… SIGNIFICANT adjustments to your… hm. The WAY you apply your trade.

 

Bobby Minio: What does that mean?

 

Doctor: Your methods, your style… it has taken a toll. It’s not irreparable but, you’re well on your way to that point and, at least for a while, you have to adjust the way you… do business.

 

Bobby Minio: That’s ambiguous. I don’t appreciate ambiguity. Are you saying ‘the way’ I do business as a concept? A worldview? Or a…

 

Doctor: The ‘FLIPPY SHIT’ as you call it.

 

Bobby Minio: Oh.

 

Doctor: Oh yes. It is catching up with you, Mr. Minio, but we have a plan outlined here-

 

Bobby Minio: Oh thank god, a plan!

 

Doctor: Yeah… Look, if you’d just stop being glib I could explain how this benefits you.

 

Bobby Minio: I’m on the edge of my seat, Doc.

 

Doctor: You’ll be able to go back to your… old ways… eventually. We just have to lay out a number of surgeries-

 

Bobby Minio: Oh a number of surgeries.

 

Doctor: … A number of surgeries split up over roughly a year-

 

Bobby Minio: Keeps getting better!

 

Doctor: That way, you can maintain a somewhat… regular schedule, and we’ll work around it, to repair what is left of your back with a revolutionary new procedure, all so you can see how fast you’ll destroy it.

 

Bobby Minio: Christ, okay! Okay I’ll sign on the line and make some adjustments, just stop lecturing me...

 

He grips the edge of the examination table before glancing back up to the doctor with a look of begrudging acceptance.

 

Bobby Minio: Using my body as a weapon was one of those few aces I had up my sleeve, Doc, you’re really putting me out here.

 

Doctor: You’ll figure it out, you just have confidence in the system and we’ll both all get through this.

 

Bobby Minio: I’m keeping the dropkicks.

 

Doctor: I’m not entirely sure what that is but judging from the way you present it, I’ll guess it’s destructive, praying only that you’ll use it sparingly.

 

Bobby Minio: Fat friggin’ chance. Oh, and bridging german’s. Gonna keep doing those too!

 

Doctor: Whatever your lustful proclivities are, Mr. Minio, you can both keep them to yourself and at a minimum.

 

Bobby Minio: Hey-... eh. Yeah alright Doc. Sounds good.

 

He slides down from the table, the paper ripping as he drops, something that resonates deeply within the doctor, more than likely a pet peeve. Minio steps to the side of the doctor, his hand clapping on the doctor’s shoulder. It strikes a second nerve.

 

Bobby Minio: I love these talks Doc.

 

Doctor: Break a leg.

 

Bobby Minio: Nah, put your own kids through college, hell I look like, UNICEF?

 

The Doctor groans quietly to himself, choosing to take the hit on the chin and live comfortably knowing that the arrogant pro wrestler is finally leaving. The sound of Minio harassing staff grows more distant into the halls, until his voice is gone completely.