An Ode To My Alabaster Cox

[Gentleman Jack]

The following letter was intercepted by OCW internal security forces within the last two weeks. Despite company protocols expressly forbidding the release of this material, the deep state organization known simple as “The Hoots” who secretively run OCW, Hollywood, the world banking system, and a very successful chain of Applebees in the Fort Worth Texas area, have leaked this very private communication to the public in hopes of tarnishing the simply spotless moral record of the gracious Madison Cox. Oh and the letter literally reeks of human shit. Before we get too flowery with this love story let's all take a minute to remember that this letter has easily been up the ass of at least 4 different men before its discovery in the OCW offices.

 

 

 

My Dearest Alabaster Cox,

 

 

These nights grow ever colder in this devilish hellhole constructed by our vile captors. Each day hope slips through my fingertips like the sands throw an hourglass. Or like that time I pulled 3 feet of anal beads out of you in the bathroom of that Shoneys in Virginia. Remember that? Who knew the human asshole was so elastic?!

 

Though hope fades, my burning love for you keeps myself and my comrades warm. Well that and heroin. Oh my god Madison, it warms you up so fast! But I get ahead of myself.... I'm not here to talk about the loving embrace of china white, no, I'm here to talk about the warmth I feel when I caress my Alabaster Cox.

 

As our plan comes to fruition, one less hurdle stands between our love. The world by now must have surely figured out that it was I who killed the greatest competitor in OCW history. The papers must be full of stories about how this vile human killed not only the finest OCW Hall of Fame member in history, how he murdered his mentor, he killed this man, no this GOD, but in the name of what they must ask!

 

Only you and I know the truth. Only one thing could drive a man to kill God Himself! That's the love of a GODDESS! You are my Goddess, and with Versus out of the picture there's only one man left. Well I use the term man lightly. There's only one child left in the picture.

 

After we escape this hellish construct I shall ride in on my white horse and save you from that terrible little creature. The thought of you having to guide that impotent little asshole to a career while our love has to fester in the background sickens me to my core. I know it will be worth it though. I know it'll all be worth it when you turn on him. He won't even see it coming.

 

That's the brilliance of our plan isn't love? The only person left that can stop us is nothing more than a mere teenager with the functioning IQ of a ten year old. After Lution, it'll all be over. We can finally take what's ours and leave this toxic wasteland for our dream.

 

Remember our dream? To move to Scottsdale and open a new age cleansing business? Just you and me sweetheart, with our hands up hippie's asses. It'll be magical! No OCW, no Dennis Black, certainly no Versus... Just you, me, and the sweet scent of high colonics.

 

Well my love my new companions are beginning to get anxious for our immanent release. Code name Penguin is in place and you're going to be head over heels for the newest addition to our family. I call him Luther, and well, I think you two are going to get along just swell.

 

My time grows short so I must sadly end this correspondence. Just know that one day soon my hands will be full of loving Cox. Nothing can stop us now!

 

With All Of My Love,

Gentleman Jack

 

 

PS: Leon says when he thinks about you he touches himself. Kinky huh?!?!

[Leon Valentine]

PS: Leon says when he thinks about you he touches himself. Kinky huh?!?!