Archer Academy Challenge 1: T.Y. Sparks Jr.

[T.Y. Sparks Jr.]

The noise of an OCW live event can be heard in the background, every now and again a loud bang chased by a chorus of “oooh’s” breaks through the volume levels. As time goes on a smartly dressed Nicholas Maximus appears pushing a trolley with four cardboard boxes on them. For the night, the four members of the Archer Academy have been given their own locker rooms. In each room, the four men are getting ready for whatever insane challenge they’re going to be set.

 

 

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

 

All four practically jump out of their skin, Benjamin in particular looks like he might even be having Nam style flashbacks due to the horn. Eventually a small television clicks on and Archer begins to speak.

 

Archer: Greetings peasants, you are all hearing my voice from sunny Tijuana, I am enjoying life whilst you will be doing as much as you can do to… Sell individual items I have picked out for you. They will now be delivered by my favourite helper, Nicholas! Chop chop!

 

Nicholas hands T.Y. Sparks his box and Sparks opens it and pulls out a gigantic pillow

 

Sparks: Hey Nicholas! Nicholas turns around How do you expect me to sell something that is taller than me! Maximus Shrugs and walks away.

 

The camera points to T.Y. Sparks Jr. who is standing backstage next to a table on his left with a giant pillow on it and a tv on his right.

 

Sparks: So what I have here is a Code Jackman life size body pillow! Camera points down at the table to reveal the pillow, Sparks pauses for a second and seems to be thinking about what to say next Fufill all of your bedtime needs with this exclusive Jackman Body Pillow…

 

Sparks: Still not convinced? Fine check out this…Sparks grabs a remote and turns on the TV next to him

 

[Code Jackman]

im fucking crying

[Benji Moore]

I want one!

[Code Jackman]

Code Jackman stands up and begins to leave his box suit at the Enterprise Center in St. Louis, Missouri after the Blues lost to the Bruins 5-1.

 

Code Jackman: Hold on one second let me finish this last drink of Beer.

 

Jackman stood up and his cell phone falls from his lap.

 

Code Jackman: Crap, that better not have broken.

 

Jackman picks up his phone to see that he has over 500 notifications.

 

Code Jackman: What the hell? I didn’t tweet anything. Did I get fired?

 

Jackman scrolls through the notifications from his phone that are titled “Body Pillow” and how comments say we want them, this better not be fake, and where can we purchase this?

 

Code Jackman: What the hell is a Body Pillow? I have never heard of a thing.

 

Jackman sits back down in his comfy chair at the arena and grows leery.

 

Code Jackman: Wait a second if I didn’t make this, that means I’m not making any money. My entire body is on this pillow. That is mine!

 

Jackman begins to scroll through his contacts vigorously and begins to call someone.

 

Code Jackman: Do you see this online? You do? There is only one person I know of who would do this only for the sake of money…

 

Security: Hello Mr. can you please take your phone call outside and leave so the cleaners can come in?

 

Jackman walks out still on the phone.