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The Death of Alexandre Vito


BenLogicGaming

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Alexadre Vito is a man who was haunted from his past. But has begun to embrace is true himself. At High School he was bullied for his passion for professional wrestling and kept it hidden at school if he did say anything about then him knew he would be laughed at constantly. So he decided to keep it hidden for his benefit, but there always something odd with him he didn’t feel free. Kept locked away the true Alexandre but I decided to step in and talk to him about his passion it made me so happy to see him discuss to me so casually about wrestling and those awful people which mocked him.

 

People looked at him weird as people thought he was crazy as he was never re4ally talking to many people quiet kid until I stepped in then he was like he was finally leaving the nest. He began to talk back to those people that mocked him I helped him paint abstract art on occasion and the smile shined more than ever. The cracks opened for brief moment which almost let me out of the coffin that trapped me. The voices within Alexandre started to open the lights at the end of the tunnel all thanks to that moment.

 

Everyone doubted him, but look at him now well I say look him really look at me. All I had to do was show him the light. In addition the inspiration from my creation is that past. “Laugh at the face of fear, smile at the ones who hate, release the pain put on that face and let me in. We are who we want to be not who they tell us to be. Release me from your grasp and let me out” I said to Alexandre.

And here I am. Alexandre Vito is reborn to “Jester Vito” the fool becomes the king. “Let Me Out Of Here.”

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Alexadre Vito is a man who was haunted from his past. But has begun to embrace is true himself. At High School he was bullied for his passion for professional wrestling and kept it hidden at school if he did say anything about then him knew he would be laughed at constantly. So he decided to keep it hidden for his benefit, but there always something odd with him he didn’t feel free. Kept locked away the true Alexandre but I decided to step in and talk to him about his passion it made me so happy to see him discuss to me so casually about wrestling and those awful people which mocked him.

 

People looked at him weird as people thought he was crazy as he was never re4ally talking to many people quiet kid until I stepped in then he was like he was finally leaving the nest. He began to talk back to those people that mocked him I helped him paint abstract art on occasion and the smile shined more than ever. The cracks opened for brief moment which almost let me out of the coffin that trapped me. The voices within Alexandre started to open the lights at the end of the tunnel all thanks to that moment.

 

Everyone doubted him, but look at him now well I say look him really look at me. All I had to do was show him the light. In addition the inspiration from my creation is that past. “Laugh at the face of fear, smile at the ones who hate, release the pain put on that face and let me in. We are who we want to be not who they tell us to be. Release me from your grasp and let me out” I said to Alexandre.

And here I am. Alexandre Vito is reborn to “Jester Vito” the fool becomes the king. “Let Me Out Of Here.”

 

 

Ahhhhh! The numbers!

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"Amatuer cheat hunter, Resident OCWFED historian, Lover of spreadsheets, data and HOI, MASTER OF THE GOKART"

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I dig the phrase at the end, but it's similar to "Let Me In" which is associated to THE FIEND from WWE... which might actually make it harder for the cahracter to "get over".

 

We've had plenty of OCW memebers who emulated (or shamlessly xeroxed) existing Pro-Wrestling talent, but you gotta be pretty damn charismatic or likeable... or seen as a major contirbutor/workhorse within the community; otherwise, you can be labeled as "that guy" right off the bat.

 

Having said that, sometimes, if you reallyi believe in your character, it can overcome all obstacles... as the wrestling world is a strange place where rules can help guide you to success... or ultimately serve to hinder your creativity.

 

As for the RP itself: There are a number of spelling/grammar errors -- nothing too attrocious to me, as I was still able to read it, but I had to double back a few times just to make sure I read it correctly.

 

I find that people are willing to overlook little mistakes, as long as it doesn't turn reading into a "chore". Too many mistakes can take you out of the story.

 

It's like watching a horror movie and seeing a monster's mask fall off, revealing the actor... just takes you out of the movie and it's hard to pull you back in.

 

I'd typically recommend putting the narration in BOLD, but this whole thing is a narration --at least, that's how I read it-- so I don't think it really matters in this particular case; I just wanted to point that out lol.

 

 

I also wanted to point out, on the grammar front, to watch out for run-on sentences.

 

I suffer from this, as I type how I think or speak, so I would use "..." a lot... like waaaaaay too much.

 

I also had long, paragraph-length sentences --some, of which, would be considered grammatically correct-- but if you have to take a breath while reading it out-loud, you may want to find ways to cut the sentence down into smaller, easier to digest, bite-size pieces.

 

Thank you for putting work in, and I hope to see more.

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I will agree with Mike when it comes to the watch for the fiend emulation he's pretty big right now and you will only be seen as a cheap carbon copy. But, If it gets your started into making your own idea it should be fine. But, don't run that road for too long.

 

When I started I was a knock off Asuka I really loved the character and played to alot of what she was. But, people's feedback helped guide me and mold my character to something that was more my idea an less Asuka.

 

So in short becareful with how much you take as insperation for you CAW.

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