Jacob Trance Posted June 22, 2020 Posted June 22, 2020 We join the camera crew at the downtown O’Neills Groceries store. Many people are going about their daily business with minimal fuss but one man wearing khakis and a navy blue polo shirt seems to be having some difficulty. Archer: I don’t understand! What’s this?! It’s not cereal, is it? Archer can be seen holding a box of “Count Chocula” breakfast cereal. Archer: Why would I trust some bitch coward vampire to look after my most important meal of the day? Lunacy! Archer rips open the box and begins to dump the contents onto the floor, much to the horror of a nearby shelf stacker. He vacated that particular aisle and carries on his civic duties whilst a few people glance in his direction, whispering under their breath. Archer: I can hear you! I might be temporarily broke but my silver ears can still hear you! I do not care if you were an underclass that benefitted from my loss. Wrongs will be righted… Archer picks up a bottle of Ketchup. Archer: Any second now… He goes to place it into his cart and pauses, spotting another bottle of tomato based flavouring. Archer: Catsup. He picks that one up with his free hand and begins looking between the two. Archer: Catsup… Ketchup. He blinks, in the background security guards can be seen talking to the store clerk from before. Slowly they approach. Guard One: Is there a problem sir? Archer: Why yes, I don’t understand these. Archer thrusts the bottles at the guard that spoke initially. Archer: Can you help me? The guards look at each other before laughing. Guard Two: Sure, we’ll make sure you get the help you deserve. Almost instantly the guards seize Archer by the arms and frog match him through the store. He grabs it everything, he kicks, he screams, balling his fists up and his lungs out. Archer: You can’t do this to me! I’m better than you, better than you do you hear me! Ding! The automatic door opens and Acher, once more is unceremoniously thrown out. He lands on his ass. Archer: You bitch cowards! Smash. The bottles of tomato based products land nearby, splattering him. The man’s face matching their shade of red as rage overtakes him. He begins screaming like a wounded animal, pounding his fists on the now locked door. Eventually, cardio gets the better of him and he stands there panting. He calms, opening his fists to find two separate tickets offering jobs for money. He sighs and takes out his cellphone, well, his “new” one. It’s a Motorola Razer flipphone that he had to downgraded to. Archer punches in one of the numbers, it clicks. Archer: Hello? There’s a voice on the end of the line and Archers eye open wide. Archer: I did not expect you to pick up this call! Well this is all the more interesting… Before we can get an idea of who is on the other end of the line Archer sneers, spotting the cameraman and takes off into an alley for privacy. 3
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