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FloJo at the ballpark.

Lotus FloJo

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Durham Bulls athletic park in Durham, North Carolina for tonight’s Major League Softball match-up between The New York Elites and Lotus FloJo.


For tonight’s game, leading off for The Elites and playing pitcher’s position is No. 12, The blonde pitcher. … Batting first and playing is No. 69, Lotus FloJo …


Our umpire for tonight’s game is Blaine. And we have an unknown catcher.


After the catcher throws the last warm-up pitch down to second base and the ball is returned to the pitcher, introduce the inning’s lead-off batter.


blonde pitcher: Ready to strike out again, FloJo.


FloJo: To hell with all of you, I’m gonna knock this one outta the park. You m-fers look down on me for the last time.


The blonde pitcher throws a first pitch and FloJo misses.

Umpire: strike one!


The blonde pitcher throws another and FloJo hits it but it’s a foul ball.

FloJo: Damn. Close but not quite.


As The blonde pitcher revs up for another pitch, the organ starts playing and the crowd cheers louder and louder. The blonde pitcher pitches the ball and FloJo hit’s it. Taking the first base. The outfielders are having a hard time getting the ball. FloJo is covering second and third bases but for she can make it to home base she is struck by a blunt object. She drops to the ground mere inches from base.


Things go dark for a few minutes; FloJo wakes up and is surrounded by the rival team dawning large cartoon-ish grins each holding bats. FloJo is a paralized on the field. The elite begin to fade while laughing.

Fading voices: We are the elite! Know your place!

FloJo’s alarm goes off waking her up from a nightmare. FloJo proceeds to wipe the sweat from her forehead contemplating what has happened.

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