B-17 Posted July 30, 2020 Posted July 30, 2020 Male Nurse: It’s fine, Jenny. I just have to check on these idiots. Todd Moll was a 26 year old nurse. He had graduated two years ago, was happily married, and had one child. Life was good. He didn’t know at the time, but he was about to become a millionaire after he sued the hospital today. He walked in, eyes down on his pad: Alright Mr. Caine we-- He stopped. B17 was posing naked in front of the window. With only his eyepatch on. B17: Ladies, look at your man. Todd: I’m...I’m a man...you need to get back in bed! B17: Now back to me, now back to your man, now back to me. Todd: Wha…What is going on? Seriously, please get dressed. He took an apprehensive step forward. B17: Now sadly he isn’t me. But if he stopped using lady scented body wash and switched to Old Spice he could smell like he’s me. Look down! Todd looked down. There was nothing there. B17: Now up! Todd looked up just in time to see Wrex smile and smash a piece of metal directly into his face. Wrex has somehow managed to pull a chunk of the gurneys frame clean off, wielding it like a club. Wrex: Take that you fucking c… ah shit, wrong nurse.. sorry buddy. He looks over to the still naked Bingo. Wrex: Well, step one out of the way. Now we just find a way out. Put on his clothes. B17: I refuse. Wrex: Fine. Get in the gurney we are getting out of here. While Bingo climbed into the bed, Wrex stripped the man down, unlocked himself, and disguised himself in the scrubs. He pulled the man out of the way and began to push Bingo out the door. B17: Nice and easy. Don't make eye contact, if you make eye contact they will know you are dead inside and no healer. Wrex: Thanks, B. They made it down the hallway with no problem. No one even paid them any attention. It wasn't until they made the elevator that they found trouble. Four armed security were loitering by the doors. One saw Bingo and piped up. Security: Sir, where are you taking him? 10 ft away Wrex whispered. Wrex: Ya trust me? B17: No. Wrex: Right answer, get ready to jump. As the guard receives no answer he begins moving forward towards them, asking again where the two are going. Once he’s close enough Wrex shouts jump to Bingo. Rolling the cart as fast as he can right into the guard. Then making a break for a random hallway. Wrex: Gotta be another exit. The three other guards sprint after them as a naked Bingo and scrub Wrex take off sprinting down a hallway to their left. As they approach the Burns Unit a cute nurse pops out of the door. Bingo grabs her by the shoulders. B17: Miss! Don't panic! How do we get out? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Wrex grabbed him by the ear: You're naked you idiot. No one's gonna help us! Security: Stop! They were getting closer. So Wrex did the only thing available to him. A man with a horse shaped head wrapped in bandages was sitting in a wheelchair confined full body cast. Wrex: Sorry kid Wrex shoved him down the hall towards the guards where he caused chaos when he spilled out of the chair. B17: I think that was Blacksmith. Wrex: This isn't a vet, let's go! By absolute blind luck they eventually come across the stairs, Wrex accidentally pushing a one legged man down them along the way. Wrex: There’s probably a fuckin army waiting in the lobby. There’s gotta be a side door.. Bingo halted Wrex and pointed to a door. Wrex didn't pause, he kicked in the door. But stopped immediately. The Cancer Ward. Wrex looked at Bingo who had somehow become dressed. His hair was slicked back. He was wearing an all black singlet that read "C17" and his face was an impassive mask. B17: Ohhhh death. Wrex: Fuck no! Wrex yanked the door closed only to find B17 smiling and naked again. They began running down the stairs again. Until they reached another door. Wrex: Please don't be alcoholic anonymous. Bingo: It's our only chance. Wrex: Probably. You wait here. Don't need you… doing what you do. He proceeds to kick in the door. Heading through with raised fists. Right into the children’s ward. A bunch of soulless eyes staring back at him. He immediately exits. Wrex: Yeah we got real lucky there… Clank. Plop. Oof. Ahh! The man Wrex had pushed earlier came crashing down after a long ride right in front of him. Wrex: Take his clothes. B17: No! Wrex: It's the children's ward. B17: Help me take his pants off. Wrex and Bingo quickly stripped him down and found that he had a prosthetic leg. Wrex removed it too while Bingo dressed. They crashed through the door just as they heard security enter the stairwell. Wrex: I like our chances here. Should be an easy fight. They walked slowly past the kids, most of them looked confused. B17: It's ok, kids. We are just looking for the exit. Can you help us out? A bold looking one spoke out. Kid: Aren't you B17? B17: Yes? Kid: My dad left my mom for our pool boy because of you! WACK. The kid hit B17 square in the nuts. Wrex: Why the hell didn’t I try that.. Nice one kid. He looks to the struggling Bingo. Wrex: Turning people gay? I’ll be damned. B17 in a choked voice from the ground: It's not a choice. Wrex: Yeah yeah, I know B He does his best to try and drag Bingo back to his feet. Which is to say, not very well. Wrex: Fuck you’re heavy. Another kid, embolden by the other steps forward. Kid: And you made my favorite wrestler leave! Wrex: My what a deep voice you have. Deep voice kid: I could be a wrestler, but people like you hold others down! Wrex: I don't think this is a kid. B17: He's a midget! Filled with puny rage the midget runs howling at Bingo. But all he gets for his trouble is Wrex's boot to the face. Wrex: Ok! Enough. All midgets and sexually traumatized children stand down! How do we get out of here? The kids/maybe midgets point to the far door. But before they can make the door. The security team crashes in behind them. And two orderlies come rushing in from the front door. B17: No time! Through the window. All pause and watch as Bingo rushes towards the window dramatically. SPLAT! The unyielding window throws back B17 who collapses on the floor unconscious. Wrex: Oh for fuck sake. Holding up the prosthetic leg he stole earlier, Wrex does what he does best. …… …… By the time Bingo woke up he was slung over the shoulder of Wrex who was steadily making his way down the sidewalk. B17: Thanks Wrex. Wrex: You're welcome, Fuckstick. 3 "Amatuer cheat hunter, Resident OCWFED historian, Lover of spreadsheets, data and HOI, MASTER OF THE GOKART" *I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHANGE MY PROFILE!*
Michael Morrison Posted July 31, 2020 Posted July 31, 2020 "B17: Nice and easy. Don't make eye contact, if you make eye contact they will know you are dead inside and no healer." lol... back to reading
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