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P3 Bonanza LXXXV


Mugen

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http://ocwfed.tv/recapshow/Riot/2020-11-13/p3bonanza.png

 

The sound of a gong plays as we see the P3 logo flash across the screen along with random Japanese characters. The logo slides itself across the screen again as we find the camera placed on a makeshift stage in a Japanese supermarket.

 

An exploding poof of neon green smoke suddenly reveals our favorite people, Drago, Empress and Mugen.

Empress: Konnichiwa

 

Mugen: We

 

Drago: Are

 

All 3 Together: P3

 

Drago: Live in Japanese supermarket somewhere.

 

Mugen: Full of fantastic Japanese whiskeys and beers……..

 

Empress: Full of delicious snacks…..

 

Drago looks around and spots several………….otaku………….NERDS………...wearing anime shirts with words that they most likely can’t read and a visible disgust forms on Drago’s face

Drago: Full of weird persons.

 

Mugen: Hey now, hey now. They are people after all too.

 

One of the white nerds turns and spots Mugen and bows to him, "konnichiwa Mugen-san. You are my favorite puuuuroresu fighters in the world."

 

A horrified face also forms on his face after listening to the strange pronunciation of Japanese by the otaku.

 

Mugen: But why?

 

Empress: Oh they aren’t that bad. Let’s take a tour of this fantastic supermarket.

 

As Empress walks on, Mugen and Drago motion for the cameraman to follow them. As they move around the supermarket Empress waves towards the fans and tells them to come along. We notice that the regular studio audience has also made the trip and they are following the pack as well.

 

Drago and Mugen continue to look around in disgust as we see The Sensational Impersonator destroying a green tea ice cream cone. He looks directly at the camera.

 

Sensational Impersonator: MATCHA MADDAFU****!

 

Drago: He definitely make an example out of that ice cream cone.

 

Empress glances over at Drago and bites her lower lip.

Empress: I’ll make an example of your ice cream cone. clears her throat and drags Drago into the supermarket I mean let's go check out the melons! Japan is known for having probably the most expensive melons in the world.

 

Mugen: Folks, she’s not wrong……..wait what?

 

Suddenly a fan wearing a Dominion shirt for some reason spots the group and starts yelling at Mugen.

Dumb Onion Fan: RUST COHLE IS THE BEST HON HON! YOU CAN’T KEEP UP WITH THE FRENCH BAGUETTE.

 

Mugen looks at him bewildered.

Mugen: Um…….GRAHAM!

 

Mugen claps his hands as GGIII pops out of nowhere and tackles the Dumbonion fan and throws him through a food stall.

Mugen: Seriously though, did you see him last night at King of OCW?

 

Drago: I was not impressed by your performance.

 

Empress gives two thumbs down.

 

As P3 and their loyal crowd make their way through the supermarket, Mugen stops at the meat section.

 

Mugen: Ah my favorite area of the supermarket. The meat section as it perfectly describes everybody in OCW.

 

Mugen grabs a few packages of the finest wagyu steak and gives them to Empress to hold and display for everybody. Empress does her finest Vanna White and moves her hands around and slaps the meat before pointing at Drago.

Mugen: See, on this OCW roster, there are two kinds of people. People who eat their steak properly, medium rare. And then there are dummies who like to eat their steak well done.

 

Mugen grabs a package of meat and throws it into the roaring crowd.

Drago: Who eats well done?!

 

Mugen: Well, I’m pretty sure Jookie Marley is a well done eater.

 

The crowd starts to boo.

Mugen: I’m not just positive, I’m 100% positive that Vincent Valmont is a 100% WELL DONE CHARRED TO BITS STEAK EATER.

 

The crowd really starts to boo and start getting worked up.

Mugen: BUT THE WORST OFFENDER OF THEM ALL!

 

Drago: Oh no, not this guy.

 

Mugen: THE WORST OFFENDER IS RUST COHLE. HE LIKES TO PUT KETCHUP ON HIS WELL DONE STEAK LIKE AN ANIMAL.

 

Empress: KETCHUP! AHHHHH!

 

Mugen: AHHHHH!

 

Drago: AHHHHH!

 

GGIII: AHHHHHH! Real monsters, mate.

 

Fred: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Mac: WOOF

 

Bubba: ROAR

 

The crowd all AHHHHHHS in unison too.

Mugen: Me? I am a real man. I have my steak like I like my women. Ra………………………………….

 

Drago: Huh wuh?

 

Empress conveniently interrupts, holding what looks to be a giant melon in her hands. Drago scratches his head at the gargantuan….melon.

Empress: They used to give these as gifts to people in years past as a sign of respect and appreciation. And well Drago, I appreciate….you!

 

Drago: Oh, thanks….

 

As she’s about to hand the melon over, one of the previously mentioned otaku nerds makes a beeline for it. Running with his arms behind him like a lunatic.

Otaku: OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

However, the otaku fails to grab the melon and instead bumps into Empress. The melon falls on the floor and is smashed to pieces. Some bits and juices fly in Drago’s direction.

Drago: So much for appreciation.

 

He steps out of frame to go clean himself up.

Fred: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND!

 

An incensed Empress grabs the otaku by the throat and screams several threats and obscenities in Japanese.

Otaku: Ooooooohhhhh AH!!!!!!! IT SEEMS MY TRAINING HAS FAILED ME!

 

Mugen: GRAHAM!

 

Before Empress can murder somebody on live television, Graham grabs the otaku nerd and throws him through a window and into the butcher area.

Mugen: As I was saying. Rust, old sport, when we do face again in a few weeks. Not only will I defeat you in the good name of steaks. But I will eat you alive you chocolate filled croissant you.

 

Mugen doesn’t look behind him as he reaches and grabs the first meat he can find, which happens to be a large sausage.

Mugen: THIS IS GOING TO BE YOU! SMOKED AND EATEN BY ME. THE KOBAYASHI OF OCW!

 

Mugen throws the sausage in the crowd and it hits the Sensational Impersonator right in the face.

Sensational Impersonator: MADDAFU……

 

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