Questionable Training Tactics Featuring Blaine, Emp, & H20

[B-17]

H2O: This is excessive, Blaine!

 

Blaine: Three cup cakes equals 15 miles! You belly aching about just added another two miles!

 

Emp: How's he doing?

 

Blaine looks down at the odometer. The trip had just ticked over to 4.5 miles.

Blaine: The 20 minutes of crying, followed by the 10 minutes of throwing himself on the ground certainly put him a bit behind. Good call on that cattle prod.

 

Emp breaks out in a mischievous grin, reaches to the back and pulls a long metal rod forward.

Emp: Going a little slow isn't he?

 

Blaine: Shock em again.

 

H2O: Hey hey hey! Wait! Cattle prods and H2O don’t work with each other. I’ll turn it up a notch. Please, just no more proding!

 

Blaine and Empress give each other a diabolical grin.

 

Blaine: No more proding he says.

 

Empress: Water and electricity don't go together, he says.

 

Harvey is running hard at a steady pace now. Blaine gives the car a little more gas to keep up with him.

 

Harvey sees a steep hill incline up ahead. He pushes ahead to move in front of the car but Blaine steps on it.

H2O: Wha…are…you…guys…doooooiinng?!?!

 

Empress: 4.75 miles Harvey. I want you to go longer. Harder.

 

Harvey is too winded to take an opportunity to respond to a comment like that.

 

Blaine: C’mon you filler! C’mon gatekeeper! Heard you talkin shit to Nate Ortiz, that old geezer just main evented Lution, what have you done lately?

 

Harvey gets a look of determination and finally gets in stride.

 

H2O: I’m used to running up mountains….in Colorado. This isn’t nothing!

 

As Harvey catches up with the car, Blaine gives Empress a nod. She steps out and moves in front of Harvey’s running lane.

 

ZAP

 

Harvey falls hard as Empress lays the cattle prod into him for a few moments that felt like forever. She stops and heads back to the car.

H2O: What the hell was that for?!

 

Blaine: Being over confident cost you a victory against Parca.

 

Empress: Just concentrate and complete the workout, Harvey.

 

Blaine: You learning from any of this Empress?

 

Empress: Yeah I’m learning not to let people tell me working out will be fun.

 

Blaine: Good.

 

Blaine steps on the gas leaving Harvey blinking and confused. She whips the car around and pulls up alongside him.

Blaine: You're 8 miles away from my gym. Here is a bottle of water, Harvey. Seeing as you call yourself H2O, you will be fine. See you in say…. Two hours?

 

Emp scrambles out of the car to rip the bottle away from Harvey and starts to drink it. Emp waves at Harvey and jumps back into the car.

 

Emp: Too much water isn’t good for you. But I’ll make you a healthy soy based meal when you get to the gym.

 

Emp poses like Jack sparrow on a pirate ship in the car.

 

Emp: Floor it Blaine! Turn on the AC. It's hot out there.

 

Emp throws the mostly empty bottle out the window for H2O as the car speeds off.

Harvey takes a swig of the water then turns to look at the camera.

 

H2O: Why do I always find difficult women?

 

H2O shrugs, smiles and runs out of the camera frame.

 

H2O: WAIT UP! I PREFER COCONUT WATER! NO SOY!