Lord of the Ring: Week 5

[Michael Morrison]

Showing the WWE that we can still push out better (incest free) storylines... even while using an inferior product that they produced. That's right, it's time for RIOT. And I swear to God, Baxter, if you suddenly have a sister next week, I'lll raise Heaton from the dead and send him after you with a sock full of Skittles.

 

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HIGH SCORE LORD

Sean Strider: No longer just the lord of white boys, Sean Strider is now a High Score Lord as well. His college, cargo shorts wearing, leather sandle kicking, nu metal listening, Ford Mustang driving, Corona Light drinking buddies will be so proud. He strides for the best by pinning a deadman's chest. That's right, I managed to squeeze in a pirate reference in that bad boy.

CLOSEST MATCH

Otomo Musashi vs. CJ Hoppus: These two brought out the best in each other with only a 10 point difference before time expired. In a heart pounding match that saw CJ Hoppus dig himself out of the hole that Otomo gladly dug for him during the first part of this match.

 

I forget by just how much Otomo lead by, but it was substantial. CJ just couldn't figure the little guy out but as the match went on, CJ found his rhythm and actually overtook Otomo. After the time expired, Otomo managed to regain control just long enough to put him away, but it will be a while before he forgets this blue haired guyjin.

 

BIGGEST GAP

Parker Stevens vs. DJ Chino: A photo negative of Turmoil, all the matches were fairly close and the biggest gap wasn't all that big at all. DJ was just 27 points away from tying up, but Parker was able to sink in that Double Underhook DDT and put the Rollin' Rican away. Chino was so close to ending Pee Stee's impressive title run by putting his deadly Chino Sticks to good use. If they ever hide glow sticks under the mat, Parker could be in trouble the next time these two meet.

HONORABLE MENTION

Digital Divas: Despite the pink death of the Women's Division here at OCWFED.NET, the presence of estrogen cannot be ignored lately. From Sensational daughters, to bitchy managers, to disease infested goth punks and shy hotties; these jiggly jems have been strutting their lusty, long legs all around OCW. Someone needs to put a stop to this before Heaton starts hitting himself in the groin while trying to figure out why his body isn't listening to him.

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[Heaton]

You may insult me, Morrison, but just remember I scored higher than you overall in the OCW Top 50.

[CJ Hoppus]

You may insult me, Morrison, but just remember I scored higher than you overall in the OCW Top 50.

But MMM has scored with a girl.

[Adrian Bold]

But MMM has scored with a girl.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOO