Kaffee Breaks And Heartaches

[Christian Garcia]

Backstage at the Queen of OCW tournament, interviews are being conducted with the various women knocked out of the tournament, with this particular interview coming at Jasmin Kaffee, who’s holding a bag of ice to her neck. She looks dejected, but is still trying to smile as reporters start asking their questions.

 

Interviewer 1: Miss Kaffee, Dick Van Diet here, first of all, a heartbreaking loss for you tonight against Harri Ettiquete, but a valiant performance nonetheless. Do you have anything to say to your fans after tonight?

 

Jasmin: I have fans?

 

There’s an awkward laugh from somewhere in the back of the room. Jasmin isn’t laughing. The young woman manages to keep her sullen smile intact as she answers.

 

Jasmin: I’ll be honest, I was surprised I’d even gotten into the tournament. There are a lot more women who that deserved the opportunity over me, so I’m just thankful that I got that chance. I would have liked to win the whole thing, but, you gotta be realistic.

 

Interviewer 2: Jasmin, John Ross Capp from Combatcapacity.net, this tournament marks the second time an opportunity at the women’s championship was taken out of your hands after the women’s future investment—

 

Jasmin: John, I really don’t wanna talk about that. That’s different. I lost tonight fair and square. I just ain’t good enough. It happens. Next question, please.

 

Interviewer 2: Apologies, but, this is more about what’s going on now. First it was Lotus Flojo, now Debbie D-

 

Jasmin: Deborah Soto.

 

Interviewer 2: Deborah Soto attacked you last week. Clearly, you’re not physically nor mentally at one-hundred percent. Do you have any idea what comes next?

 

Jasmin: Next question. Please.

 

There’s a small clamor, and Jasmin leans upward in her seat to see the source of the commotion. There’s a small boy, about seven or eight years old, being held in the arms of a gentleman with a press tag. Jasmin noticeably perks up at the sight.

 

Jasmin: You two got a question for me?

 

Dad-terviewer puts his microphone up to the young boy, but before he can say anything, the mic is snatched by a familiar face… one Christian Garcia, wearing what appears to be a Harri Etiquette hoodie.

 

CG: Actually, I have a question, Jasmin!

 

Jasmin goes noticeably pale and sits back down. The interviewer, who isn’t a small man, tries to take the mic from CG, who shoves the guy off him hard enough that he has to scramble to avoid falling over their seats.

 

CG: You got cleaned out, again. I did some counting, see, and as it stands now your record in OCW, counting your fluke win that I handed to you a couple weeks back, is 3-8. Every woman in this tournament bracket, with the exception of Furiosa, has beaten you now. You are the Chicago Bears of OCW, and Harri Etiquette came out on her Aaron Rodgers shit tonight.

 

CG: My question to you, is a simple one. When are you gonna accept that you don’t belong in this company. You don’t work like these other women. You don’t work like the guys in the back. You don’t work like ME!

 

CG motions to the crowd, who are all looking at him with a mix of shock and revulsion. There’s a rare appearance from OCW Security, as well, one of whom is approaching Garcia from the side.

 

CG: You gonna answer me? You don’t have that killer in you anymore. I carried you to an undefeated streak in OCW, and what do you do? You go hugging up on Lotus Flojo and Terra Daturas, you go trying to get Aries to be your new daddy, you go drag TWC into your pity party nonsense, and now you’re trying to beg for sympathy because you got WASHED!

 

CG: What about my son this, I’m better than this that, shut the fu-

 

The mic goes dead, and CG gives it a puzzled look. Shrugging his shoulders, he pitches it into the crowd, bouncing it off a person’s head before finally noticing the rare OCW official, and flipping him two one-finger salutes as he hurries to vacate the premises. He continues shouting in spite of his lack of mic.

 

CG: I don’t wanna see you or your HGH mutant sex pet on my show this week, Jasmin! You can’t hide from reality forever!

 

With that, CG leaves, security and a few camera-wielding reporters in tow. There’s a long pall of silence, broken by occasional murmuring, before one of the interviewed speaks up again.

 

Interviewer 2: Jasmin-

 

Jasmin simply stands up, and walks away from the podium. For a brief moment, the microphone picks up muffled sobbing.