B-17 Posted June 27, 2023 Posted June 27, 2023 WHACK! Cameraman: OW! B17: I told you it was a bumpy ride. Cameraman: Why the hell do you live all the way out here? Bingo: It keeps H20 away. The SUV keeps plodding along, bouncing over the rough terrain. The driver is so focused that he doesn’t notice the camera is rolling and shout: FUCK ME as a particularly large bump causes the car to bounce dramatically. Cameraman: You don’t seem particularly worried considering Wrex was about to burn down your house. Bingo scoffs: Wrex wouldn’t burn down my house. That would be so 2018 Roadhouse. You demanding to be here is a big waste of time. We’re going to pull up to my cabin, no damage, the worst Wrex would have done is take a dookie in my desk drawer. Cameraman: You claimed Wrex would go too far, what makes you believe he wouldn’t take it that far? B17: Three reasons. B17 puts up his fingers as he counts. B17: One, Wrex knows my family, and has stayed with us multiple times. He ain’t going to do that to my wife and kid. B, his fingers have been broken so many times, he can’t work a match, lighter, or torch. Finally, my house was already burned down by Aries, this would be going to the well one too many times. The driver finally offers more than profanity: Here we be. The SUV pulls into a clearing where a large, homely looking cabin, with absolutely no burn damage still stands. Bingo gets out of the vehicle as it stops: Told you. The cameraman and driver get out and walk to follow Bingo. SNAP. CRACKLE. AHHHHHHH. BOMP. Cameraman: Holy shit! Devon, are you alright? Devon! B17 strolls casually over to the hole that Devon fell into: Ah, you found my Drago trap. Don’t worry you’re not the first to fall into it. You hear that Devon? You’re no more stupider than Flojo, Deaver, or unnamed rookie 19. Devon? Oh, he’s been knocked out. Let’s keep moving. Cameraman: Why the hell did you make a trap? B17: Ever been hit with a Tiger Uppercut? It hurts. Plus it keeps that fat announcer staff guy away too. Cameraman: Who? B17: I don’t know, he keeps pitching the tagline of this imaginary match as: Set Him Free. Bingo and the rattled cameraman make it to the door. Bingo pushes his way through into an immaculate, clean, NOT DIRTY, living room. Both men walk around. Bingo jogs upstairs, cameraman checks out the kitchen. The cameraman finds a locked door and rattles at the handle. B17 rushes down the stairs: Not that door. Cameraman: What is back there? Bingo: Mad Mike’s Sensitivity Training Studio. Cameraman: So nothing is gone? No damage? B17: We should check the desk drawer. Both men approach the corner oakwood desk. Bingo carefully reaches out for the middle drawer. With trembling hands, and a scrunched up face, he pulls the drawer open. A lone piece of paper with loopy writing is in it. B17 picks it up to read. B17: Holy shit. The cameraman looks over Bingo’s shoulder to read the note. Cameraman: What are you going to do? B17: Set Him Free. 7 "Amatuer cheat hunter, Resident OCWFED historian, Lover of spreadsheets, data and HOI, MASTER OF THE GOKART" *I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHANGE MY PROFILE!*
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