Illuminati

Earlier this week we reported the Turmoil Booking had reached out to former OCW Superstar Ryu Matsumoto to open up contract negotiations. Turmoil GM, Tiberius Dupree reportedly squashed these negotiations as they looked to bear fruit. Furious there are reports that the OCW Board of Directors have cancelled Turmoil in response. When asked Tiberius Dupree had this to say.

So I sat down and made my own kayfabe list yesterday. By kayfabe, I mean how people are viewed in universe/character by OCW fans. I started the list by placing everyone into C Tier. I then moved Legends, World Champions and Former World Champions to A. Then I took all the other Champions and placed them into B. I elevated people up from A to S rank based on their accomplishments/body of work. I then adjusted everyone relative to the people within their own tier up or down. If you feuded consistently and were active you remained in C. If I could remember a feud rp or match you did I dropped you into D. Everyone else is effectively “Unranked but I recognize your name”. I then did one final pass again to adjust people relative to the other people in their tier and the others. “Would a match between two people in this tier place higher on a card than 2 people in the tier below?” Etc and that brought me to the final list. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/11C3f49GjaWkM5Bw2pBSGxS2kIY5vbjGcpMJHabFcLqs

Oh word, y’all got money for an Empress movie, but wanna nickel and dime THE World Champion during contract negotiations. FOUL

I spoke with Jay, Jake and Drago about this tier list. I’m glad they took my advice in not calling it a “Kayfabe” List. Some other criticisms we discussed at length that I’d love to discuss with the general public. A. I thought the metrics weren’t adequately explained at the beginning, and the metrics I parsed from listening through weren’t applied equally to everyone, certain people were judged favorably compared to others. B. Not counting history is in effect a lie, because a wrestlers’ current card placement is based on history anyways. C. My contract situation was not addressed on this cast, and when I offered to be on it, Jay promptly changed the time of the recording so I could not be on it (very sad)

Wow, another PAWN in the conspiracy against the LEGENDARY World Light Heavyweight Champion Ryu Matsumoto, sad. Ryu did see you struggle to tap out Bobby Minio, so why don’t you come down and learn some Pepperton Jiu Jitsu at the new Boston Dungeon. Ryu will let you roll with the Blue Belts, hopefully they don’t stretch you too badly. http://media.discordapp.net/attachments/309837930543972352/626132747613634570/image0.jpg

Boy, thats gunna be tough, because I heard they arrested AC Cobra after our match for Public Indecency. He came down to the ring and EXPOSED himself in front of everyone. SAD! (Dictated not Read, Ryu Matsumoto)

:( http://streamable.com/wlb5v

First for the http://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/309837930543972352/590728726325493760/image0.png

Well on his way to what?

Inb4 first match with Loki

I think you mean the Percy Pretzyl Hold, originally known as the Bavarian Pretzyl Hold

In this exchange I’m picturing Bobby as Mo Green from the Godfather. I TALKED TO PUGHZINI. https://youtu.be/9DZNDEqcSi0

All I know, Is Harvey Ocean better put some respect on my name if he doesn’t want me to slap it out his mouth. Come see me in the ring and catch another L my guy. http://www.quickmeme.com/img/6d/6dde3b8f6cc49f6ab88a3a608df330399560ef3cedc094bab1208d7c16c4d43c.jpg

The H2O Story

.::Part One::. We pan into a decimated city scape, as the camera moves we zoom past burnt out cars and debris. The camera finally settled on a figure laid out in the middle of the battle scarred street. The figure stirs and slowly gets up, we see that the previously unknown figure is The Spider Ryu Matsumoto. It's not the Scarlet Spider or the Sensational Spider, but it's the Trash Spider who has been travelling the timelines with the Trash Splitters. We see him look around as the horrors of this hellscape become evident. We see the Delorean crashed and lodged into the building to his right. All around him, strewn in the street, hanging out of the burnt out car and building windows are the remains of various alternate universe Duprees, Mugens and Spiders. RYU: to himself What the fuck happened here? He waits for a moment, as if absentmindedly anticipating a witty remark from Mugen or a snide insult from Dupree, but it never comes. He is Alone... ————- The camera pans back to Spider navigating the dilapidated cityscape. At times we see him climbing over debris, other times crawling through the wrecks of large vehicles. Eventually he sees a complex in the distance. Although he can’t make it out clearly through the haze of the city’s destruction, he can see that the complex is made up of multiple structures. RYU: Well that’s a place isn’t it. Ryu presses forward toward towards the complex in the hopes of finding some form of life. ————- We pan back into Spider who has finally made it to what seems to be a clearing in the city. There is a clear line, where the asphalt and concrete ends and grass begins. Spider looks out and sees the massive complex, there is a massive temple at the center. With massive statues and towers surrounding it. Each Statue has the face of Papa Kass. The temple itself is adorned with carvings of Kass and mosaics of his various accomplishments. RYU: Well shit Spider makes his way towards the entrance of the temple stepping over and past the hundreds of Kasstians worshiping at the Temple grounds ————- Spider finally reaches the entrance of the Temple. The entrance is a flight of stairs flanked by two pillars made of what looked to be a rusted metal inlaid with polished quartz. Spider steps through the pillars and begins ascending the steps. There are various mosaics on both sides of the stairway illustrating the legend of Papa Kass as he climbs. The first shows him doing battle with a golden figure near a ladder. Another depicts a spider casting bats out of Kass’ body. One depicts the formation of the Kasstian church, with Papa Kass dawning the face paint for the first time. Another one shows him holding a championship over his head with a racist depiction of an asian person on the ground. There is one showing a figure stealing the championship and diving into a body of water. As he climbs the mosaics become stranger, we see a depiction of Kasstians dressed in military uniforms going to war with soldiers. Another shows Papa Kass sitting on a bloody throne, ruins surround him and the throne. He finally reaches a gilded door at the top of the stairs. He pushes them open and walks through. ————- He steps into a vast atrium. At the center of the atrium there is a floating platform hovering about 9 feet off the ground. Sitting in the center of the Platform is a throne. The throne itself sits atop a smaller platform with six steps leading up to it. Each step is flanked on either side by statues of “angels” cast in silver. These angels look horrifically malformed, malevolent looking, more gargoyle than angel. The only distinction being the feathered wings as opposed to webbed. At the top of the steps is the throne. Carved of Obsidian and gilded in Silver and Rubies. Sitting on the Throne is Papa Kass himself. Papa Kass is dressed in Ceremonial Robes with an ornate crown atop his head. Godking Kass: Ryu, you have returned from your travels, were you successful? Ryu looks left and right, as if expecting someone to give him the answer Kassidy is looking for RYU: Ummmmmm… yes? Godking Kass scowls, angerly, realizing this is not the Spider he was expecting, before he can act, there is a flash of Golden light, and Spider disappears ————- Spider stands up and looks around, he’s standing in a white void. In front of him is a formless golden light. RYU: Ummm, hi? The formless golden light begins shifting and swirling, it then begins speaking in many voices, one voice is very familiar to Spider Light: I am Betterness Eternal, and what you have just seen is a future that must not be. RYU: I don’t think that's how timelines work… There is a long pause, Ryu is awkwardly staring at the formless light Light: Shut Up Trash Light:: You must go back in time and prevent this timeline, you must eliminate Kass. RYU: Yeah… about that. The Delorean got smashed somehow, so… that's not gunna work. Light: There are other ways to travel timelines, especially when two great forces combine. RYU: I don’t like the sound of… Before he can finish part of the light shoots off at Spider. He levitates in the air as it surrounds him, his eyes and mouth start glowing. There is a flash. Spider lands back on the ground, his eyes are now golden with the power of Betterness. The light now speaks to him in his own voice. Light: You are now your Timeline’s Betterness. And with the Trash and Better forces together you should have enough power to travel the timelines. RYU: Gross, well I guess I’m off on another adventure through time. Ryu snaps his fingers and a rectangular portal appears in front of him, he steps through to go to his destination ————- Spider steps out of the other side of the portal and into what appears to be a childs nursery. Spider looks around, the nursery, it's your fairly average boys nursery, sickeningly blue. The only distinctive feature is the rainbow colored name across the wall, the baby’s name. “A L D U B E R T O” Spider walks up to the Crib and looks into it to see a grumpy looking toddler, no older than three. The toddler somehow has Kassidy’s signature haircut, complete with the blonde streak, tied up in a small bun. Light: Now is your chance! He’s defenseless! Spider reaches into the crib and picks up the toddler. He holds it in front of him by the armpits. Spider looks at it as the child wakes up and looks at him, yawning. RYU: God dammit, I can’t do this. Light: YOU MUST! RYU: Must deez. RYU: You aren’t gunna destroy the world right? Baby Kass: Nnnnnnnno! RYU: See? Light: Are you being serious right now?! RYU: See I have a better solution to this, I’ll just teach him to not be awful. RYU: It’ll be fine! A golden baby carrier forms on Ryu’s chest, he slides Baby Kass in as a portal forms in front of him. Light: This is a terrible idea RYU: It’ll be FINE! Ryu steps through with Baby Kass ————- We pan into a bar, its filled with various creatures and aliens sitting at tables eating, playing card games, and watching holograms. We move past all of them to the bar, where Spider and Kass are sitting at the bar. The Bartender is a yellow lady with green hair and four arms. Bartender: What are you guys drinking? RYU: Two beers, I guess. Baby Kass: Nnnnnnoooooo! The bartender stares at Baby Kass for a few seconds The Bartender walks away to get the drinks Light: What am I? Chopped Betterness? The Bartender returns and places the two beers in front of Spider, who then slides one over to Kass RYU: All right kiddo, so where was I… RYU: You’re gunna grow up into a crazy cosmic serial killer. Baby Kass: What’s a serial killer? RYU: errrm, that wasn’t a good way to phrase it… like a mass murderer. Baby Kass: What’s a mass murderer? RYU: You know what, just drink your drink, it might make things easier to explain. Ryu gulps down half his beer as Kass struggles to take a drink from the large glass mug. The Bartender walks over, looking at Kass Bartender: Excuse me sir, your kid isn’t old enough to drink… RYU: Listen here, this is none of your business, I’m old enough to drink for the two of us. Bartender: I’m getting my manager. RYU: Get an army, see if I give a ****. Baby Kass: So tell me more about this “murder”. Light: Nice one chuckle nuts. ————- We pan back into the bar, Spider has multiple empty glass mugs in front of him, while Kass is still struggling to drink out of his glass mug. RYU: And let me hic tell you another thing about these damn dirty aliens. RYU: You can’t trust em, and they stink! Light: They can’t stink any worse than robots All of the aliens in the bar are now staring at Spider now, giving him dirty looks Our “favorite Bartender walks back towards Spider and Kass Bartender: *ahem* Spider and Kass both look at the Bartender, then look past her to see several alien bouncers Bartender:: I brought the army. Spider casually flips the bartender and her bouncers the bird RYU: Me and the kid are having a real bonding moment here, why don’t you go back to doing whatever it is you do here. One of the bouncers reaches over the bar and grabs Spider by his collar, Spider’s eyes narrow in anger. He dives over the bar and a brawl commences. Kass watches for a few seconds before grabbing a nearby bottle of bear, he smashes it, forming a makeshift weapon and joins the fray ————- We pan back into the bar room, there are alien bodies knocked out strewn all over the bar room. Ryu stand up tall and pounds on his chest and starts making Gorilla noises. Kass looks up at Spider and stares for a moment, he begins imitating him, pounding on his chest making gorilla noises Light: Look at what you’ve done now, you’re turning him into a little savage Ryu stops his celebration to look at Kass who’s still victoriously making gorilla noises. He makes a thinking face RYU: Its fine, he’s learning to be a hoot, sure he’s a savage, but he’ll be like us, he’ll use his powers for good. Light: I can’t help but to hammer home the fact that you are probably only making this worse RYU: It’ll be fine!

http://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/309837930543972352/544499871563120640/image0.png

There was an early finisher. The DM system is made so that a rookie doesn’t have to have a bad FPR break put up on show. First and foremost, Cobra, as the “””Veteran”””” in this situation should have known better than to run with that match instead of just running a redo. Instead I need to deal with a dm from someone else asking me why I approved that match with an early finisher in it. Want to make it clear that I didn’t.

Not a joke, the reason the DM system is in place is so we don’t have rookies getting put up on shows eggregiously breaking FPR. This is now the second time the system has been completely circumvented.

Never recieved a match from Cobra or Jerry Boy, never approved it, never submitted it. Shouldn’t have been put up as it was.

How Dare You

If they don’t hate you, you’re doing something wrong. EMBRACE THE HATE BOOB EMBRACE YOUR DESTINY

Only thing that sounded like a broken record was Inception’s wack ass Water Popsicles. Bars ain’t got no flavor, fuck outta here.

MMA is Fake and Gay

Its not so much an ethics thing as it is a bad habit, imo 9/10 the original match always looks better than a reshoot no matter how "bad" or one sided the match gets. Also a reshoot is painfully obvious, a vet will spot it right away and generally won't point it out. I don't know what your overall track record is with reshoots, all I know is I've seen three and said no to one this season alone. You're always going to be critical of a match since you're in it, all I'm saying is give the natural match a chance.

I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make light of a serious criticism. I’m sure you can tell the difference between when I’m playing my character and when I’m trying to honestly point out problems I have with the product I see on the show. I’ve seen and confirmed more than one occasion where Valk has had a reshoot when she thought a match didn’t go well, I was PERSONALLY asked for a reshoot when she thought my match with her didn’t go well, a reshoot which I refused because I believed the match was strong enough on its own legs. All I’m saying is I see Valk developing a bad habit, which I’ve seen happen before. And I would greatly appreciate it if you didn’t treat a legitimate criticism as a joke.