Illuminati

Illuminati’s Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious TTT Night Review PAGE 4 Dragana and Flojo Segment This was a nice FIGHTING SPIRITU promo and it’s a great example of making the best out of a loss. Despite losing to Dragana convincingly this promo still keeps Flojo strong. Tayy Return Video... At first when I saw all the Ts I thought this was a surprise TTT video that Quartz had done. Then a slightly taller Buddy Burns walked out. I don’t know if a returning Tayy warranted an all out video promo, I think a text RP would have been fine, but if Quartz doesn’t mind the extra work on an alt character I guess it’s. Inception Promo I liked the dream sequence that kicked this promo off. A lot of newer folks don’t realize the history between Heather and Harvey and the fact that Heather started off as Harvey’s valet. It’s a neat introspective bit showing how far Harvey has come from his debut. Now to the meat of the RP I sort of wish the beginning of Inception was a little more high energy. Rather than kicking off with a bang it was just backstage with some drinks, it's fine cause I feel like that fits the groups style better than big and flashy… again this is more of a reflection on me, I like big and flashy I suppose. MATCH:Shepherd vs Cort Marshall I liked the story the entrances told in this matchup. Cort came out looking for blood dressed in traditional street fight jeans and armed with an American Beat Stick. Meanwhile Shepherd came out on his own terms, in wrestling gear because he is a wrestler. It very much echoed the sentiment of the feud with Shepherd being tired of being held back by Cort’s shenanigans, he came out on his own terms as his own man. Onto the match itself I really don’t have much to say. It was super smooth, and everything felt appropriate , the weapons weren’t overused and came into play without feeling forced. I thought the ending beatdown was played a little longer than I’d like, for me just hitting an extra finisher is enough to make a point for a beatdown but again, that’s a personal taste thing. My one complaint, although I hesitate to call it a complaint was I thought Bobby Minio should have been in the mix somehow, with a win against Cort and a great performance against Shepherd. In my opinion Shepherd and Cort should have let their blood feud stir for a little longer before getting the one on one blow off and played Bobby off as getting in the way in this matchup. Kass and Quartz Segment MY SON is a great father figure to HIS SON. When I’ve been unjustly taken out of the equation by Jay, Kass slides into the mentor role perfectly. As always I enjoy the dichotomy of TTT and Kasstianity. PAGE 5 Terra and Ashley Segment This segment does right, what I thought the Terra/Flojo segment did wrong. Terra and Ashley’s characters shine equally in this rather than one overwhelming the other. I get that Terra is the naive babyface and that Ashley is the overbearing bitch heel. MATCH:Thomas Archer vs Justin Jehst Nothing out of the ordinary for entrances this match. Both guys have fitting looks, motions and music thumbs up on that end. As for the match itself, unfortunately for me, the moment I saw that there was sub in the match I checked out completely, aside from that it was a solid match But I also had the opportunity to discuss this match with Pugh. I’m not sure if he relayed some of his thoughts on it in discord or in the CAW stream he did but I’m going to share them here. The psychology of this match was off. The was the storyline played out I was expecting Archer to go for the contract at every opportunity(doesn’t mean he has to try and take it down you can purposely fail the minigame). I thought for the most part Jehst stuck to his characterization by putting a beating on Archer even at the cost of opportunities to pull down the case. Valkyrie Heather Segment This is a solid segment with Valk and Heather, really gets over the Furiosa gimmick and creates tension leading into the match. Even Heather is afraid of this bitch DAMN. PAGE 6 Quartz Solo Segment Quartz has a lot of stuff going on between his alts, TTT and his own feuds. It’s a wonder he still puts up these solo/introspective pieces. I’m a big fan of this style of promo, especially at this point in Quartz’s career, interested to see where he goes with this. Cort Solo Segment Damn, Shepherd fucked you up like that! Interested to see the ramifications of this on the feud. This seems to be going long term like I expected. MATCH: Heather vs Valk Really enjoyed the entrances and attires in this match, especially Valkyries, really cool. Onto the match, for a few Valkyrie matches now, I’ve said I’ve had “thoughts” regarding the match and left it at that, publically anyways. Privately I followed up on my “thoughts” and they were confirmed upon a little digging. So this time I’m going to state my “thoughts” flat out. This felt like a reshoot to me. Especially in the way the finish played out. Reshoots should be used as a last resort, not to make someone look better if they had a rough match. If you had a poor performance in a match, write an RP, and explain it. Flojo did it perfectly earlier in the night. Telos and Dillinger Segment I really enjoy the Telos/Dillinger partnership, and I’m glad Telos got on a big show like this. Good Job. DINNER BREAK

Illuminati’s Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious TTT Night Review Oh hello! I didn’t notice you there! Its me your friendly neighborhood Spider, Illuminati, here with an all new, all improved, returning Illuminati Show review. Now, this show is a lot different from our standard fair for OCW, so we’re going to mess with the formatting of this review by tacking on a couple overarching segments towards the end So without further ado, Lets get on with THE SHOW PAGE 1 TTT Night Intro Great production value, great clips picked out, the After Effects Template that was used fit the theme of the PPV perfectly. All in all, it set the tone for the night perfectly. Jay Throws Spider Out Since this is one of my segments, instead of doing a review, I’m going to pull back the curtain and show you guys my thoughts on why I did what I did. For those of you that follow my Discord antics, I threatened to get involved in both TTT matches if things started going south. Jay immediately dmed and said “We’re doing this promo right?” So we did, and I think it was perfect comeuppance for everything I’ve been doing/saying on shows and explains why I don’t get involved later in the evening. MATCH: Drago Cesar vs Bray Standard Fare Entrance from Drago, Yu Yu Hakusho Entrance from Bray brings up an interesting conundrum and opinion; unless an attire is spot on/strong enough to stand on its own legs without the reference its… referencing it doesn’t work, isn’t worth doing. As for the match itself, I very rarely see it brought up, but what makes Drago so good at this game is that his reversal timing is nearly flawless, and his understanding of range is nearly impeccable. Drago embodies the Ultimate Defensive Player in OCW. So there are two options to deal with this, either you take on the herculean task of throwing Drago’s Reversal Timing and range awareness off; or just weather the storm and get reversal and strike damage in when you can. Bray opted for the second option, and barring a few tactical errors like taunting at inopportune times and pressing some advantages a little too far he did a really good job. Even going so far as to get Drago red first. Unfortunately I think Bray got to this point by compromising his control of the match and leaving it in Drago’s hands. I even recall several points where Drago was up by two reversal stocks or more which is certainly not ideal. Drago eventually puts it away in a match I felt he was in control of all the way through. Great showing by Bray though, definitely shows mechanical improvement at the game, but tactical could use some work. CQC and Harvey Segment I think one of my favorite parts of Riot this season is everyone seems to be “in the mix” which gives people options no matter what happens. Although this comedy segment seems like it's just friendly banter it's being used to lay the foundation for a feud that could happen moving forward from TTT Night. MATCH: Hijo De Mistico vs A Horse The entrances were solid, unfortunately Bourne and Mistico’s attires took a hit from the game limiting their options, Kraven would have been dope with Fur and Mysterio’s Bike Helmet unfortunately killed it, but a gold star from me for the attempt. As for The Last Blacksmith, I’m going to quote something Parker said about me when I first debuted, “I don’t get it, but it works” and that's all you need for an effective attire. It gets a good reaction every time and it's immediately identifiable. This was a great lightweight matchup, lost of “small guy moves”, and great high flying. My only complaint is I HATE that backflip springboard kick , it NEVER looks good. The finish was great, something about a whiffed move, especially a springboard, into a finisher that always looks good. I think this is a cool moment for Blacksmith, getting a win on a big stage like this. Hopefully he can parlay it into something more. Also interested in seeing how Mistico recovers. Cort and B-17 Segment This is a great odd bedfellows(sorry Cort) segment. I always think its nice to do cross platform rps, but it's hard to justify it when there really can’t be a proper pay off to these interactions. Maybe you could work it into a Shepherd v B-17 match if Shepherd exists on PS4. I think I may be to much of a pragmatist when it comes to this kind of thing, but thats my two cents. PAGE 2 Valk and ??? Segment This was a nice little face segment, it's always compelling to see a little doubt creep into the hero’s mind. Maybe the demon isn’t in Furiosa maybe the demons were Valk’s self doubt the whole time. HMMMMMMMMMMMMM Terra and ??? Segment Former Tag team Champion ???, one half of Abeyance making his second appearance of the night. This time with Terra, never trust someone selling Vegan “”””””food””””””. Absolutely disgusting. Anyways this stranger is creeping on Terra hard, I always find the nice guy gimmick to be super cringey/rapey in rps, maybe that says more about me but I dunno. Anyways the stranger says he has some business to attend to armed with a chair. Too bad security was too busy throwing NUMBER ONE DRAW Spider out and not keeping this creeper out. Code and Bingo Video Promo I liked this segment a lot, it got me really excited for the match. It was really well done, and I hope more people take their cue from this. Gave the match a BIG FIDE FEEL MAGEL MATCH:Austin Aries vs Scumciety Entrance wise things were pretty standard, scumciety looks like they smell like pee, as they should, Austin Lee looks like Austin and Aries is doing his usual thing. I would have actually liked to have seen the white suit out of Lee, but my heart isn’t broken. First tag match of the night the Scummy Trumoil Tag champs defend against probably their most decorated opponents to date and it really showed. Both guys were crisp, a lot of “alpha counters” great exchanges and smart tags in and out. Jay Fury was doing a lot the damage for Scum while Wrex absorbed a lot of the damage, and more importantly reversals, which is actually a strategy me and Mugen liked to use when we were tagging. Meanwhile Austin and Aries shared the workload pretty evenly. It's hard to say which strategy is more effective because in the end it had no bearing on the finish with Fury eating a finisher out of an even exchange and Wrex getting caught before he could make the save. While part of me wants to see this run back because it was such an evenly contested match, I do want to see Wrex try and make another foray into the Main Event picture. We’ll have to see where this goes. P3 Christmas Special I know for your average viewer the P3 segments can be hard to digest but for people who know Drago and Mugen well they’re a real treat. PAGE 3 Terra and Flojo Segment D O N ‘ T B E L I E V E T E R R A ‘ S L I E S. Flojo is a picky eater I guess, I feel like you could have substituted an NPC in for Flojo and it would have been the same, sort of wish more of Flojo shined through in this segment. Alyssa Winters Segment A THOT would know a THOT huh Stacy? REMOVE THOTS. Interested to see what happens here, not sure who Alyssa is, if its a genuine rookie or someone’s alt. MATCH: Code Yackman vs B-17 Code’s look is solid, but it's starting to get stale, I think the haircut was a step in the right direction, but even just changing your tight colors from week to week helps a lot. Bingo’s look is strange as always, can’t say enough how perfect Bingo’s music is I always find myself singing along with it as its on. I actually feel like B-17 was in control of most of this match with Code just hanging in there a step behind for the most part. Some great exchanges with Code just being patient and staying in the match. Any match can turn around in an instant, B made one mistake trying to hit his finisher and it created an opening for Code to get a big win. Interested to see where Code goes from here. I think he needs to shake up his character a bit to get to that next level; but I also think he might be better served continuing this feud with Bingo. I feel like very few people outside of the upper card are running long term feuds and to me that's the difference between top guys and mid level guys. The feuds you become known for are the long ones. Jehst Segment This was a solid I HATE YOU segment, and it's a great example of how a longer feud really seems to have more of an impact. Not much to say here since this was a simple and effective promo, you don’t always need to go crazy to accomplish what you need to. MATCH:Dragana vs Flojo Standard fare entrance wise, was hoping for a cosplay attire from Flojo for Devil’s Night, but her look is fine. There’s really no way to put it nicely but this was a mismatch. Bray had just enough mechanical ability to stay in his match, but ended up losing because Drago couldn’t be shaken on the tactical level. With this match there was just too much of a gap mechanically and strategically. Good effort by Gooch, and great character stuff leading into it. LUNCH BREAK!

Sits down with Who?

It was Jay, Jay forgot to pay the electric bill

Hey now, Trash has always gotten to where he’s at by being the best to do it in OCW. The only person I know that’s gotten ahead in OCW by having legends in their mouth is Tiffany Ortiz Sensation.

Hot Take: Our Zero and Nate so shook that the biggest draw of the modern era is not on the card, but the failed expirement is in the Main Event after getting fed an easy win. Really Makes You Think TM

That’s OUR HERO to you

A K A The COWARD Nate Ortiz Edition

Lewd, is this part of your fanfic

Hoot you reversed the gimmick, I hate the Aliens, you hate the robots. You cousin Aliens I cousin Robots

Another win in the TTT Column HOOOOT

[X] die trying

M O O N W A L K l N G is a L E G l T l M A T E S T R A T E G Y

「gorilla noises」

Oh hello! I didn’t notice you there! Welcome back to the Pepperton Dungeon. As always I am Ryu “The Spider” Matsumoto. Since you’re back here I can only guess that not only can you walk the walk, but you can talk the talk now. As such we’re here to talk about looking the look. When we talk about your look we need to take a few factors into consideration: 1.Your Face 2.Your Body 3.Your Ring Gear 4.Your Entrance Gear Your Face Your face is a blank slate, the only hard rule I like to throw out here is NEVER EVER use the Default face. Its extremely lazy and I know that when I see a default face I bleh on the inside. After you, hopefully, decide not to use the Default Face you need to figure out whether or not you wanna use someone’s face texture, or manually adjust the face. I personally never liked using face textures because if they aren’t cut properly you often get weird shadows or dirt on your face. If you do wanna go this route I HIGHLY suggest making your own face texture, or adjusting one on your own so you can adjust skin tone/opacity at your own discretion. If you decide to build your own face, I recommend finding one feature and making it your own, whether it be ridiculous ears, a huge nose or even having a permanently closed eye turn your face into something unique that can easily be picked out in a line-up. Your Body Now take a good look at your moveset and figure out how your guy is gunna fight. Does he slam slam? He should be taller and bigger to reflect that he has the power and size to slam slam. Are you a striker? Maybe you aren’t so jacked because jacked people aren’t as fluid, be more slim and defined, have a boxer’s physique. What you DON’T want to do, is be an aerialist who’s 7ft tall and jacked to the gills or a 4ft tall anorexic doing Military Presses. Make sure, you look like you can do the things your CAW can do otherwise it's gunna look bad. Your Ring Gear For your ring gear we’re gunna go back to the old Pepperton Adage, Keep it Simple Stupid. Step one, Pick Black or White, once you’ve decided pick NO MORE than 3 other colors. That is the color palette for your attire. I even recommend going less than that, the less colors you have the cleaner your look is going to be. If you don’t have an art/design background keep things as simple as possible! I don’t recommend doing a mask unless you have a lot of patience for trial and error. The past few years of 2K games have not been friendly to masked wrestlers and you often end up with a mask that looks like an existing wrestler no matter what. Your Entrance Gear Sometimes not having fancy entrance gear is just as good as having a good one. If your ring gear looks good, don’t hide it under a jacket or robe. In addition don’t go overboard, save big attires for big shows or special events. Most importantly, be original, while ‘cosplay’ attires seem cool they aren’t as fun as original content. My personal best attires have been references to OCW history, whether its coming out as Trash Versions of my rivals and Legends or under one of my old masks. People will respond to originality more than a copy/paste attire.

ACT III The camera pans to yet another dilapidated building. This time it is a High School, the camera pans down to show our three heroes standing before it. RYU: This is definitely a set up, they’ll ambush us as soon as we go inside. MUGEN: That's a risk we’re gunna have to take if we want to rescue Matsuda. BETTERNESS: sigh You guys always rope me into this stuff, let’s just get this over with. The trio kick down the front door of the high school and enter ——— We pan back into the dirty school, some time has passed as the Trash Splitters have been searching the halls and classrooms for any sign of Matsuda MUGEN: All that’s left is the gym, where we had our tryouts. The trio look down the hall to the door to the gym, they make their way through and immediately find themselves surrounded by an army of men and women. Sensational Spider and Chuck the Cameraguy are on the gym’s stage, behind them is the cell that holds Matsuda Spider: SURROUND THEM, Capture them alive! Our trio manages to hold off the initial attempts at grabbing them, however, before they can be overwhelmed the Priest bursts through a window and onto the stage near Spider and Chuck PRIEST: RUN! Ryu nods to Mugen and Dupree and they manage to get away, out of the gym and back into the main school Sensational Spider looks at the Priest with what can only be described as weaponized hatred Spider: You let them get away. PRIEST: I’m not afraid of you. Spider disappears and reappears behind the Priest, he looks directly into the camera and winks at an unseen onlooker, and delivers a blow to the Priest’s back that causes him to crumple to the floor Chuck rushes to the slumped body on the floor to check on it CHUCK: … you killed him… CHUCK: This was never a part of my plan. Spider: This. Was. NEVER. Your. Plan ——— Ryu, Mugen and Dupree are in a classroom trying to figure out their next course of action RYU: I knew this was a trap, they definitely have the exits covered. MUGEN: This is bad we’re outnumbered and the only way to get to Matsuda is through that army. BETTERNESS: You guys are crazy Ryu and Mugen both look at Dupree blankly as he states the obvious BETTERNESS: All I know, is that if it was me in that cell you guys wouldn’t have done all this. Ryu looks at Dupree, almost offended, he walks over and pushes him roughly RYU: All that glitter has gone to your head. MUGEN: If it were you up there we would have done the same exact thing. Dupree looks at Ryu and Mugen and nods BETTERNESS: Let's do what we came here to do. ——— We hear loud marching as our heroes burst through the door of the classroom they were hiding out in MUGEN: What’s that sound? RYU: Its the sound of angry wrestlers congregating. The army that Sensational Spider has assembled is made up of failed rookies and wrestlers that have crossed paths with the Trash Splitters BETTERNESS: These guys aren’t our friends; they hate us for never helping them out. RYU: We might be able to take out a lot of them, but there’s too many of them. There’s no way we could fight our way through. BETTERNESS: We gotta think like one of them… what if they had no reason to hate us anymore? MUGEN: Gimme that pen! Let me cut some checks. In an instant Mugen cuts several dozen checks and starts throwing them into the mob MUGEN: Take these and buy some groceries and pay the rent! MUGEN: The only way to get through you is giving back to you! Those that catch the checks cheer and turn to defend our heroes. Ryu takes the Haus of Hoot gift cards and throws them into the crowd. RYU: Take these cards and buy merch to sell to some marks! RYU: We won’t beat you, we’re here to help you! The ones that catch the cards cheer and join the mob defending our heroes. Dupree grabs the gear the Priest had given them, the elbow, knee pads and boot laces and throws it into the mob. BETTERNESS: Take this gear so you can wrestle safe! BETTERNESS: I can’t believe how good it feels to be giving back to you! The last of the mob turns to their side. They grab our heroes and begin crowd surfing them towards their goal. ——— Our heroes get dropped off back in the gym by their new allies They once again come face to face with the Sensational Spider, but now with unbreakable resolve and a mob at their backs Sensational Spider looks at them with the same malice he showed to the Priest Spider: You… took my Brothers from me! BETTERNESS: We’d rather be lost to the multiverse for all eternity, than let you take OUR Brother. Almost triggered by saying that word, Ryu begins glowing in purple Trash Light, Mugen with the green power of the Income Funnel and Dupree himself with the Golden Glow of Betterness Knowing he’s been beaten, Spider throws Chuck between himself and the Trash Splitters and makes his escape. The light emanating from the Trio merges into a brilliant white flash. The TRASHstar! When the light dissipates we see Chuck kneeling in front of the Trash Splitters, tears streaming down his face CHUCK: I can’t believe what I’ve seen… CHUCK: These are men who have the power of gods… and I tried to bring them down… CHUCK: I’m not the hero, I’m the villain, and it's my turn to go down. As he concludes Chuck flakes away into dust Dupree rushes up to the cell and delivers a knee to the door of the cell blowing it off its hinges Dupree stands at the door of the cell, frozen in what seems to be horror MUGEN: What is it? What did they do to him? BETTERNESS: GOD DAMMIT SPIDER!!! THIS ISN’T MATSUDA, IT'S JUST AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SPIDER IN A WIG Ryu gives a stupid smile and shrugs as the camera fades to black ——— We fade back into a dark room, Sensational Spider is standing cross armed smiling Spider: Everything went flawlessly on my end, how about you? The Mastermind steps out of the shadows nodding MASTERMIND: It was just as you planned it, yes we had to sacrifice a pawn in Chuck… but what was returned to us… Tiberius Ortiz and Mr. Mugen step out of the Shadows flanking the Mastermind smirking. The Trash and Sensational Splitters Return in Season 14

ACT II We pan into the Church of the Infinity Artifacts. Our heroes are watching blankly as acolytes are attempting to teach them various martial arts moves. PRIEST: We are running out of time. PRIEST: You’ve been training and you’ve been prepared for the final battle. PRIEST: Bring out the Holy Weapons! A group of Acolytes marches in front of the Priest holding pillows with weapons a top them. PRIEST: Lazer Shooting Pencil. PRIEST: Poison Coated Elbow and Knee Pads. PRIEST: Barbed Wire Boot Laces. PRIEST: Haus of Hoot Gift Cards… The trio looks at the gift cards confused PRIEST: That explode when combined with the polymer. They nod as they recieve all of the weapons PRIEST: As the prophecies have foretold the, Trash and Sensational Stars have been born! PRIESTS: The Infinity Lights are within you all, and when the four are united Evil will be broken. PRIEST: I know that you doubt yourselves! But you don’t have to worry we believe in you! PRIEST: With these holy weapons we believe you can fulfill the prophecy, obtain glory and rescue your Brother… MUGEN: Can you stop using that word? It's really weird. RYU: Yeah, I mean we all work together but we aren’t biolo… The Priest cuts Ryu off pointing his gnarled finger accusingly PRIEST: HOW DARE YOU! You should be ashamed. PRIEST: It is blasphemous what you say! He is your Brother and he is your heart! RYU: But when you say it like that it sounds really gay. PRIEST: You are all selfish bastards! And if you don’t… BETTERNESS: ENOUGH! There will be no more of this “””brother”””stuff. BETTERNESS: We will now go forth and rescue our Coworker as discussed. —— The camera pans to our heroes wandering the streets of New York City BETTERNESS: Well where do we go now, that Priest and his church didn’t help us with that. RYU: I’m telling you there has to be some kind of clue in Chuck’s message. MUGEN: Well he really emphasised the phrase “where Purgatory Falls” is that familiar to you guys. Ryu and Dupree’s eyes suddenly get wide MUGEN: What did I say? RYU: Purgatory Falls is the name of the shitty Auditorium we ran a house show at when we first signed at Ambition. BETTERNESS: That's actually not too far from here let's go. ——— The trio come upon the dilapidated Purgatory Falls Bar and Auditorium. RYU: I remember this place now, it had an awful menu. BETTERNESS: We need to be careful, this place is a hive of scum and mediocrity and den of resentment and jealousy. MUGEN: What do you mean? BETTERNES: The ghosts of our past will definitely be here. RYU: And they’ll be lying in ambush… BETTERNES: Lets get this over with. Our heroes press forward and into the Auditorium. It’s packed to the brim with ghastly forms as our trio had anticipated Mugen points to a graying, fat man, in a dingy moth eaten suit MUGEN: Oh my God! It's our old Agent! Ryu points to a cackle of late middle aged bloated women in clothes that are too tight and revealing RYU: Oh my God! Its all those old Ring Rats! Dupree points to a group of people that look like gym teachers BETTERNESS: Oh my God! The old OCW Trainers! AGENT: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME CAUSE I HELPED YOU! GIVE ME WHAT I’M OWED. HEAD TRAINER: WE TAUGHT YOU ALL THE CUES AND CAMERA ANGLES! THEN YOU LEFT US IN THE WIND! T.Y.O RING RAT: I STUCK WITH YOU ALL AND FED YOU LIKE KINGS! YOU TREAT US ALL LIKE WHORES. The ghouls from the past creep closer to our trio AGENT: Look at you all now, YOU LOOK LIKE BITCHES! I hope you all brought some cash! HEAD TRAINER: YOU OWE US ALL FOR YOUR SUCCESS AND WE’RE GUNNA TAKE IT BACK. Before the Thousand Year Old Ring Rat can advance any further and speak Ryu punches her in the face RYU: We need to retreat! Our heroes make a break for the door, throwing punches, lariats and knees at anyone that gets in their way. Before they make it to the exit a flyer catches Mugen’s eye, he snatches it off the wall and they make their escape BETTERNESS: That's the worst thing I’ve ever known. BETTERNESS: Angry Mediocre People who think that they’re owed. MUGEN: I know where we need to go, I saw this flyer on the wall. Mugen opens the flyer to show an ANCIENT OCWfed Tryout advertisement at a high school gym. RYU: This is where we all tried out for OCW, its not too far from here. BETTERNESS: Lets go.

ACT I We pan into a dark room the camera descends onto Chuck the Camera Guy, the disfigured victim of one of Spider’s past lives. He stands before a sealed cell, we hear wails of pain coming from within. CHUCK: You will pay for everything you’ve done! CHUCK: You will be made Sensational just like Spider! ????: Careful now, we need him whole to complete the Requiem. A figure steps out of the darkness, it is the Sensational Spider Spider: After my fellow Sensational Splitters were beaten and sealed away into the Prison Universe, my hand was forced. Spider: I need him to free them, and to finally destroy the Forces of Trash. ——— We pan into a lounge area, our heroes, the Trash Splitters are hanging around in a locker room backstage. Tiberius Dupree is sitting in a mirror brushing each individual hair on his head with a comically small brush. Mugen is on a 1980’s era brick phone yelling about “business deals”. Ryu Matsumoto, the Scarlet Spider, is looking intently at a chalkboard covered in nonsense and scribbles. Suddenly a man in Priestly Robes kicks down the door an bursts into the room. Our heroes all turn, to look at the man with somewhat confused looks. PRIEST: Gentlemen, I come before you on behalf of The Church of the Infinity Artifacts! PRIEST: My words will never be more worthy than they will be right now, this quest will prove your metal. BETTERNESS: I already hate the sound of this. PRIEST: You already banished two thirds of the Sensational Splitters, but he has recruited one of your ancient enemies to aid him in freeing them. PRIEST: The man with the burned face. Together they’ve kidnapped the lost member of the Trash Splitters, Matsuda, he plans to torture him into using his power to free them and finish you all off. PRIEST: You must rescue your brother! Mugen: You mean Tag-Team Partner? PRIEST: I mean brother! RYU: He means coworker. PRIEST: I MEAN BROTHER BETTERNESS: Can you stop saying “brother”, you’re really making us uncomfortable. PRIEST: You must complete the TrashStar and become Heroes! The camera pans out from the priest to our heroes who are all looking at him skeptically. RYU: Sure, I mean we have nothing better to do, its the off-season. ——— We pan into the offices of TOLMC, Ryu, Mugen and Dupree are inside Mugen’s Private Executive suite. Ryu is looking around at the multi-leveled atrium style space. RYU: How come I don’t have one of these? Mugen: You said you wanted your name first on the logo and a corner office. RYU: I did say that didn’t I? BETTERNESS: Why are we here anyways? Mugen: Well if we’re gunna save Matsuda we have to find him. So I’ve set the office to locating him. Molly walks into the the suite with a clipboard. Mugen: What have you found? Molly: We’ve set top men to the task but they’ve come up empty handed. Molly: But there’s one hope, we hired out the greatest tracker in the world to find him. Molly: They say he was raised by killer whales. He’s a master of technology and espionage, he can even kill with chopsticks! Mugen: He sounds excellent! This is great, where is he? A man in a suit walks in with a wheelbarrow, there is a heavily decomposed body in it, be dumps the body in front of our heroes. Man: He’s dead BETTERNESS: Gross Mugen: ewwww, throw him in the garbage. RYU: Hold on Ryu inexplicably pulls a latex glove out of his pocket and puts it on with a loud snap. Dupree looks at him incredulous. BETTERNESS: Why do you even have ONE latex glove?! He gingerly pushes the corpse with his foot then pinches his nose with his ungloved hand. He crouches down and reaches into a bloody pocket on the man’s vest near a gaping bloody wound. After rummaging for a few seconds he pulls his hand out and reveals a small piece of metal. RYU: Its a thumb drive! Mugen: What is this 2008? Ryu shrugs ——— Our heroes sit in front of a massive computer screen the, now washed, thumb drive is plugged in. The screen turns on. It displays Chuck the Camera guy in a very close shot. CHUCK: I see you sent this tracker to kill me and rescue your brother. BUT HE FAILED. Mugen: Why does everyone keep using that word? CHUCK: I’M NOT THE BAD GUY HERE, I’M THE HERO! CHUCK: NOT JUST RYU, Tiberius YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME, YOU’RE WORSE THAN HIM. CHUCK: And Mugen, YOU SCAMMED ME OUT OF MY WORKERS’ COMP Mugen: Hey that was a good investment, he just pulled out early… pause. CHUCK: If you ever want to see him again, you’ll come down and join me where Purgatory Falls! The screen fades to static. Ryu turns over to Mugen and Dupree. RYU: Do you guys understand what that crazy guy means? Maybe its something like a riddle. BETTERNESS: You know after all our adventures, I don’t know if we’re cut out for this hero thing. BETTERNESS: Yeah, we’ve saved the multiverse a hundred times, yeah I’m a multi time champion, yeah we’re each individually multinational economic powerhouses. BETTERNESS: But I’ll never be a hero, I may be better than everyone else, but I’m just a man! RYU: I mean yeah we could not be heroes, but do you even know what its like to be a regular jerk?! MUGEN: Yeah do you want to be some loser with a Marine Psychology Degree talking about Prime Time Television at the water cooler? BETTERNESS: Of course not! BETTERNESS: sigh I guess we have to be heroes.

You are truly the songbird of our generation, and as with all of your projects you do them flawlessly and promptly. OCW is truly blessed to have OUR HERO.

How DARE you Adam, everything OUR HERO does is for the improvement of OCW. He is beyond reproach, ESSPECIALLY from a nudist 80s-boo like you. You are Fake-News Adam, Sad!

Not speaking for Parker, but my understanding of his “weak olayer” argument has always been this; The older games focused MUCH more on the Gameplay Layer of the game, you had to be good at timings, you had to be good at pushing the buttons fast, if you had good timing and fast button pressing, thats what let you body people. In the newer games theres more of a focus on the Mechanical Layer along with a diminished focus on the Gameplay Layer. Timings are much more forgiving, only one type of reversal vs 3 different button presses in older games (strikes, grapples, and finishers), as well as button mashing minigames being nonexistant, the focus is more on managing reversals/stamina etc. Parker’s gripe is he comes from a different era of game, where different aspects of the game were highlighted. Kass is also correct though, because skill in those older games does translate into the newer ones and the people that were bodying people in those old games are still bodying people, hell, people like me who were passable at the old games can body people that are used to the new style. Idk, I enjoy the new Meta to a certain degree, but I do miss the old days of Alpha Counters.

http://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/309837930543972352/446327212417744897/image.png

From the Desk of the Governor of One Carolina Ryu Matumoto Dictated Not Read It has recently come to my attention that the events which have transpired in Japan over this past weekend at the Grand Gala event may have been misinterpreted by the people of Japan and has been misrepresented by international media. After an honest game of ‘The Yachtsman Stuntman Slam’ my friend and colleague B-17 decided to regail the people of Japan with, and I quote “The Song of His People” The Japanese people, with their notoriously fragile egos and meek dispositions reacted poorly. I then came to my colleague B-17’s defense, arming myself with the closest weapons I had at my disposal shoes. I would like to apologize on behalf of myself and B-17 for the extreme fickleness of the Japanese people. I would like to apologize that the Prime Minister’s Orbital Bone was so fragile that it broke when struck with a canvas shoe. And I would like to apologize that Japan was unfit to be host to the Greatest Event in Wrestling. TTT Over Everything

http://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/234976199816773632/444265413736529920/image.jpg I’M SORRY BOOOOOOOOOOOOOB