Amazing Ari Brookstone

Thank you very much for your complimentary statement my dear boy. If you ever find yourself at a loose end - needing a Manager perhaps, do give me a call.

We open in the vast expanse of a hotel penthouse, smooth jazz impregnates the air as the camera moves its way around the room. It settles on an unknown man sitting on a velvet upholstered armchair. The man is wearing a fine suit, and seems to be in his mid to late thirties - he seems quietly confident as he begins to speak. Man: Ladies and Gentlemen my name is Ari Brookstone. He takes a sip from a champagne flute and continues Ari Brookstone: I've been called many things. Amazing, arrogant, loud, douchey... Which isn't even a word by the way. Most recently, I've been called by one Jaysin... He looks at the iPad on the armrest of his chair Ari Brookstone: ...Clinton Sensation. Mr Sensation called me because he wanted to offer me an opportunity. An opportunity to become a fixture in OCW. He takes a sharp intake of breath Ari: ...I am a man who gets things done. Most recently, I brokered the deal that brought Stephon Marbury to OCW - and now... Now I want to turn people into sta... Peaches what are you doing?! The camera pans out to catch a chiselled man dusting a trophy on the mantelpiece. Ari is furious, and jumps out of his chair as "Peaches" recoils Ari: I told you... Never touch my trophies! WHY DID I TELL YOU THIS PEACHES? "Peaches": ...because I can't be trusted. Ari: BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BE TRUSTED. GET OUT OF MY SHOT YOU'RE RUINING THIS! Peaches scuttles out of shot as Ari sits back in his armchair Ari: ...Ahem. Excuse me. He adjusts his tie and continues Ari: ...Ordinarily, I don't do television - but I do do money. In OCW - I see untapped talent... I see money to be made - So starting soon. I do OCW. Peaches! The chiselled man walks back into shot Ari: Now you may dust. The smooth jazz permeates the air again as the camera zooms out, and the words "Amazing Ari Brookstone" float across the screen in a delicate font.