We pan into a small cell inside a Japanese prison, we see Ryu Matsumoto sitting across from a pantsless B17.
RYU: So they didn’t give you back your pants, huh?
B17: What? Yeah they did, over there.
B17 turns his bare, white ass to Ryu and points to the corner.
Ryu starts to ask why he hasn't put them on, but decides some battles are lost causes.
Ryu leans over to the bars of the cell and yells out.
RYU: I hope these people understand that I hold political office in the United States and am therefore afforded diplomatic immunity.
B17: What do you mean ‘these people’? Do you mean my boys and queens!
B17 looks around excitedly.
RYU: Our jailers, the people holding us captive, what do you think I mean?
B17 slumps down disappointed: I thought you saw someone from The B Community...instead you're just being racist.
RYU: You know I’m Japanese right?
B17 turns into a thinking emoji as he considers this new revelation: Wait a minute....We’re in...Japan… and I was singing about…
Ryu: Yeah, Harry Truman, great choice.
B17: You threw shoes!
B17: Ok, we can't stay here. You see this wig? It's the key to our escape…
Ryu stands up and sticks his hand into B-17’s wig, his face scrunches as he seems to be searching in the hairs of the wig.
We slowly see him work his entire arm into the wig in a bizarre showcase of physics.
B17 looks confused and somewhat concerned as he doesn’t seem to understand whether or not using his wig as some sort of portal might cause cancer.
We see Ryu’s whole arm appear on the unoccupied desk just outside the cell.
We see his arm and patting around on the desk past a ring of keys and grabs a hairpin thats on the desk.
He then pulls his arm out along with the hairpin.
RYU: Got it!
B17: Holy boy. How--. Um--. Woah...Hey! Let me try!
B17 immediately goes to enter his fist into his head, but the portal doesn't open, instead B17 punches himself in the temple and topples over.
Ryu: Trash physics only.
While Bingo recovers from his failed portal experience, Ryu unlocks both cell doors. Retrieves B17’s pants and tells Bingo to put them on.
A fully clothed B17 and shoeless Ryu slowly creep down the hallway of their captive police station. B17 keeps jumping around from shadow to shadow while pressing himself flat against the wall, singing as he goes.
B17: Oh, I am Bingo, The Last Action Hero. Oh I am Bingo, no one can catch me. I jump and punch but never kick. Because I am Bin--
The door at the end of hallway slowly begins to open. The Legendary Crime Fighting duo, and OCW Tag Team Champions, Ligermask and Bunny M step through the door.
B17 looks at Bunny M, then to Ligermask, then at Ryu then back to Ligermask, somewhat confused he yells out.
B17: What are you guys doing here?!
Bunny M: We’re Japan’s greatest super sentai duo
Ligermask: Si, hypér hentai!
Bunny M: NO YOU DUMMY! SENTAI WITH AN S.
Ligermask turns into a thinking emoji
Bunny M: Anyways, we just turned in some criminals and guys dressed up in rubber monster suits.
Bunny M: You guys have any idea where we might find some criminals?
Bunny M: Like vandals, streakers, shoe throwers or jail breakers.
RYU and B17: Nope!
Bunny M: Sounds good to me! Have a nice day guys.
Ligermask: Si!
Bunny and Liger disappear through the door.
B17 looks suspiciously at Ryu: What a warp of the immugenation!
They rush through the door and barge into the office space of the police station. It's empty, devoid of life.
B17: Mr. Trashman, I believe that The Bunny and Liger have given us the chance to escape! But why?
Ryu: Liger and I have similar interests.
To the outside world both men run, rain is pouring and no one is in sight. The dark street serves as a somber reminder that this escape plan has no plan.
A low rumble sounds in the distance and a small speck of light appears at the end of the deserted street.
A 1969 midnight blue Impala pulls up.
B17: Veronica! Trash, it's my car! It's my car! I knew you'd come back! Oh! I haven't seen you since I stole that horse!
The Impala stops next to the dancing B17 and the suspicious Ryu. The window rolls down.
Ashley Blain: Yeah, calm down, it's my car now. I bought it in auction.
B17: Noooooooooooooooooo!
Ryu taps Bingo on the shoulder: Who’s the bald guy?
Ashley glares at Spider, then punches B17 in the face and drives away leaving behind the smell of rubber.
As the smoke dissipates from the Impala’s burnout several human shaped robots leap out from behind the buildings and out of alleyways.
The robots are covered in Tokyo Police Decals and flashing red and blue lights.
Police Robots: Please Desist All Escape Attempts! Kindly Return to your cells or you will be met with force.
B17: Ahhh! Decepticons!
RYU: Don’t worry, everyone forgot that I left a secret weapon here after Hooty Racers at Wrestlution last year.
Ryu flourishes showing his Broken Casio watch, he hits several buttons on it. In response we hear a loud truck horn bellow.
Ryu’s Garbage Truck from Hooty Racers barrels down the street, through two of the opposing Police Robots.
B17 and Police Robots: NANI?!
Ryu grabs B17 by the collar and leaps vertically upwards.
The two then somehow land in the driver and passenger seat of the Garbage Truck.
RYU: TTTron! HENSHIN!
B17: Wh-
Before he can finish the Garbage Truck gyrates and Transforms into a Transformer-like Robot.
The TTTron charges forward at the Police Robots.
Before the action can begin the camera fades out into Mr Sensation’s office.
OUR HERO is holding his head in his hands and massaging his temples.
Ryu is holding several Transformer action figures slamming them together as B17 makes sound effects.
RYU: And that’s how we defeated the evil Japanese Prime Minister and made our escape!
B17: It was like 80s Heaven... so where is our next goodwill mission?
