TJ Stevens

The year is 2022, OCW is set for a historic one man show in which I will compete in every match with my self.B-17 will still lose to me.

3/10 needs more flags

So many insane finisher sequences. My favourite was the Dragana // Aerith one personally, just for how wild it got.

Heather better duck under cover this Summercide, Valk is spitting fire.

We join today's OCW action in an open air conference, in sunny Hawaii. The tables are set up and decked out in local regalia, done up to emphasise the islands culture. Members of the press have gathered, a single microphone adorns centre stage. A man stands in front of it, dressed casually. Host: Ladies and gentleman, our guest at this time…. From side stage barges Thomas Archer, knocking a traditional Hulu dancer off of the stage and onto the floor. He ignores her screams of pain and seizes the microphone for himself. Archer: I know your pain Pocahontas, I too can not cope in the finest Armani suit in these aborhable conditions… Archer looks to the broken woman with a smile. Archer: I mean, how can a country be so underinvested in that even outside is warm? Haven't you fish eaters ever heard of air conditioning or civilisation? Gosh. Archer shakes his head and addresses the audience. Archer: However, on behalf of 0.5% studios I would like to address the elephant in the room, to answer the burning question everyone has… Just how has Bird Nehst managed to force himself onto the Summercide weekend show? Well… The answer is simple. I don't know. The crowd snicker, drawing a grin from Archer. Archer: Laughable, isn't it! A man so devoid of personality, talent and spirit that he has agreed to be the cameraman for myself and Elsa's steamy romp, “The Billionare Who Shagged Me.” I know, I know. You thought he loved Elsa? It seems he's… let it go. So what am I going to do about it? Archer takes the microphone three times. Archer: I am going to make him scream… First I took his passion, then I took his woman… And at a Summercide I will take his livelihood. I will… Archer snaps his fingers together loudly, letting it echo. Archer: Snap his legs just like that and you'll all hear him scream… Then you'll hear his hand smashing the mat in submission… Just like I smashed Elsa on the flight over here. Enjoy the rest of your humid squalor, I have some air conditioning to take care of. Archer goes to leave but a hand rises. Reporter: Is Austin Lee here in Hawaii for his title match? Archer: Austin Lee is at the bar, waiting for me to have some Mojitos and MaiTais. So shut your trap. This conference is over, play the outro music! Archer walks off stage as some elevator style music plays and the feed cuts off.

"If you're just joining us this is the main event"

Sad reacts only.

Not my best day at the office. I feel I should have had two of those in the bag, just gotta come back stronger next time.

Sometimes I like to post

He knows everyone's finishers. He's just a shit head.

Sounds like home.

Shout out to the ring crew for the reinforcements they had to do for Trance Harrison at such short notice.

When Jetts music hits and out walks Jason Bourne instead...

Forgive him. He's not been main event tier since 99

You dropped the belt to Chris Ryder. Die in a fire.

I don't recall anyone that thinks things over questioning Dennis' position. He got there, he earned it. As for three unanswered finishers... it used to be a rule, it's not now. That move he reversed before pinning me off of was a submission because I was going to try and tap him out. I then thought "it'll be a ropebreah" but it wasn't then I botched a kick out. Do I feel hard done by? Nah. If Dennis hit me with the third before I hit three of my own I would have stayed down and watched the ego inflate and then explode when he beat Pugh. There's a difference between lying down and staying down. It's just people maybe don't see that. Dennis is a good champ who does work, even if he gets super angry the moment someone questions something. Just breathe lad.

I caught an ass whooping? If you say so lol. Also, if Nate had been hit with three unanswered finishers by Jackson he'd most likely have "lain down." The irony is I don't have any beef with folk, and as such I'm not getting drawn into an ego stroking competition.

I don't recall anyone saying you weren't on people's level, other than Jay who only does it to get a rise out of you. And nah, you're not allowed to vacate it and I don't want to see it lost in a cluster fuck of a 4 way, but I've already told you that.

Not at all. There's folks that shit on me the moment I miss a deadline but I kept them in the know and haveiterally not had a single bad word. Let people know and it's fine. Let the Booker, opponent and owner know at the least.

Normal service to resume from myself, Jay knows the story but after the funeral tomorrow I'll be cracking on for a good 2017. I'll hopefully get round to working my way through the show properly before then. Props to all the new champions and those that retained. And to those that ruined their e-selves for our entertainment.

Good fuckin job

It's a swear word, dummy.

I think it's the https that does it, 94 green names might be prohibited from posting videos.

You're just a poor man's CJ Hoppus... Who hung out with an overweight retard named Robert Fearo... The similarities are striking actually, nevermind.

Jimmy and I was done but it's lost somewhere in his Dropbox