Joe Zhivago

Edward the 18th, are you startin' on me? Eighteen generations of you... Waste of time. Well if you're here to finish what your family started, you better put all that money you have where your mouth is, COS I'M GONNA DROPKICK IT DOWN YER THROAT! Remember and keep some for medical bills though, cos you'll need it.

Thanks man!

Good stuff! I knew there was someone else here from Glasgow, forgot it was you, sorry. Sure there are a few who aren't in the know!

Yes and we've brought Buckfast. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buckfast_Tonic_Wine

Scottish born and bred! A tartan army stable would bring the house down! :-) Glad you're also ps4. Someone else brought up that Simpson's gag when I first joined, haha! It will now haunt me forever.

The camera fades in. Joe Zhivago is in the middle of a dressing room doing an over splits across two chairs, a hand-rolled cigarette hangs out of his mouth, filling the small room with smoke. He is wearing a black leather jacket with the words ‘Made in Scotland’ across it's back and a small Scottish flag emblazoned on the right shoulder. Beneath his jacket he wears camouflage wrestling singlet with matching green boots. There is a knock on the door. Joe Zhivago: In ye’ come! The door opens and a Stacy Clark walks in, she starts coughing as her lungs are assaulted by the miazma of smoke. Stacy Clark: Hi there! *cough splutter* I hope I'm not disturbing your training! Do you have a moment for some questions? Joe Zhivago: It's fine… I've always got a moment for a pretty young thing like yerself. Ask away... Stacy blushes ever so slightly and begins her interview: You've come a long way from Scotland to join us here at OCW - what is it about this company that brought you here and what do you have to offer? Joe Zhivago smirks at Stacy: Well, everybody worth their salt knows that OCW is home to some of the greatest superstars in the business. The thing that makes me different is that I'm made of 100% Scottish beef - metaphorically speaking. Joe flexes his biceps, grinning at Stacy, who doesn't look as impressed as he hoped. Joe continues: And everyone should know, Scottish beef is leanest and tastiest of all. I'm going to prove to everyone here at OCW that I'm the prime cut! Stacy Clark looks confused: Zhivago… Zhivago, isn't that a Russian name? Joe: As a matter of fact it is. My great Grandparents emigrated to Scotland during the first world war. Stacy smirks at Joe this time: So you're not 100% Scottish beef, after all… Joe starts to sweat, having been rumbled by the smart young interviewer. Joe: Well… ummm…. Look, that's besides the point! Do you have anymore questions? Stacy smiles wickedly: I'm afraid that's all I have time for today. Stacy Clark turns to leave. Joe is still performing an over splits across the chairs. Joe looks embarrassed: Wait! Can you help me get down from here? The camera fades out.