The Gentleman Catches A Break

[Gentleman Jack]

Our scene opens inside the same very sad, very lonely motel room that Gentleman Jack has been occupying the last week. We see Jack crumpled on his bed in despair after his failed attempts to sneak into the debut episode of Unleashed. Suddenly there's a knock on the door.

 

Jack: Go away....

 

Barry: Jack! Let me in! I got great news Jack!

 

Jack: Go away Barry, I'm not in the mood for this crap. Did you see Unleashed? I'm the laughing stock of the wrestling world today. My dream is over Barry! Over!

 

Barry: That's just it Jack! OCW called! They want to book you!

 

Jack leaps from his bed to unlock the door and let his attorney enter. We finally get our first glimpse of Barry. He appears to be an older man, early 60's maybe, with receding white hair, a large gut, short stature, and the cheapest suit he could find at Sears.

 

Jack: You better not be joking about this. Have you been drinking Barry? Or worse?

 

Barry: Naw Jack it's nothing like it! They really called! I have an offer sheet for you!

 

Jack: Really?

 

Barry: Really! Look at this, its incredible!

 

Barry hands over the contract to Jack who skims through it.

 

Jack: Tryout deal? What the hell is this Barry?

 

Barry: Its a standard OCW rookie contract Jack. You come in, take a booking. If they like you, you get another one. Then, eventually, you'll get a season long deal. It's just what they do.

 

Jack: So they aren't insulting me?

 

Barry: Insulting you? Jesus Jack do you know how lucky you are?! A week ago they'd never heard of you. Then you slander Kwan Watts, the nicest guy on the whole damn roster mind you, on tv at 3 in the damn morning on their own network! And your follow up to that brilliant plan Jack? You try to barge your way into Unleashed without so much as a ticket!

 

Jack: They were sold out Barry! What'd you expect me to do?

 

Barry: Not offer to blow Joe Pesci! I gotta say Jack, I've known you for years and I've never seen you do such a thing. Have you finally lost your mind?

 

Jack: Ha! Barry baby, I'm better than ever! Look it all worked out didn't it? I'm booked Barry! Booked!

 

Barry: Yeah about that, your first match is on Unleashed 2.

 

Jack: Perfect! I'm jacked Barry, jacked!

 

Barry: That's good Jack, that's real good. Oh and they've already named your opponent.

 

Jack: Perfect! Who is it? Some local kid in wrestling school?

 

Barry: No, not exactly...

 

Jack: Ah, you're right, why waste me on that? I bet they have me facing a legend! Bringing in an old guy to give me a rub on the way to top! Who is it? Vic Vimes? RD Money? Guy Fausto?

 

Barry: No Jack, no washed up legends. No local kids.

 

Jack: Ah so they've got a real test in mind for me huh? Active roster kinda guy? Ok, I can do that. Wait, its not Tank is it?

 

Barry: No it's not Tank, thank christ.

 

Jack: Whew! By the way did he get my flowers?

 

Barry: Yeah.... turns out he's allergic. He was sneezing and coughing for three days leading up to his match at Unleashed. Luckily he got over it in time, but he is not happy with you.

 

Jack: Shit!

 

Barry: Yeah...

 

Jack: Send him some chocolates Barry. Everyone loves chocolate!

 

Barry: Don't you think thats a little... you know... foo foo? Sending another guy flowers was one thing, but now chocolates?

 

Jack: It's 2016 Barry! I can send another man chocolates and it not be weird if I want to. Why do you think Martin Luther King marched Barry?

 

Barry: Uh.. not for that...Anyway you're losing focus here Jack...

 

Jack: You're right, you're right. Things are just getting a little stressful for me here Barry. Its not a kid, its not a legend, thank god its not Tank, so who is it?

 

Barry: Bray S. Spur

 

Jack immediately slaps Barry across his pudgy, fat face.

 

Jack: Fuck you Barry! No! No way in hell am I having a debut match against Bray FREAKING SPUR! He's a machine Barry! A freaking Mediterranean god! Have you seen what he's done to this roster? He doesn't just beat people Barry, he can put you on the shelf! That finisher alone! Jesus Barry, what am I going to do?!?! Bray Spur?!?! Ahhhhh!!!!!

 

Jack grabs the nearest object he can find, in this case an ice bucket, and hurls it across the room in frustration.

 

Jack: My face Barry! My beautiful face! If he hits that codebreaker my face is shot Barry! Shot! And that chokeslam of his? Barry I'm monumentally screwed here! I need a plan Barry! A good plan too, not the kind of shit I usually come up with.

 

Barry: Yeah I dont think offering to blow him will work.

 

Jack: I wasn't really going to blow the security guard Barry! I was going to take him to a back alley and knock him out!

 

Barry: Uh huh.

 

Jack: You know you work for me, right?

 

Barry: Ha, some work! When's the last time you payed me?

 

Jack: I'll start paying when you start actually passing state bar exams.

 

Barry: Touche.

 

Jack: Alright Barry, close the door. We need to make a new plan.

 

Barry: Actually Jack, I got an idea....

 

As Barry says this he closes the door ending our scene. Will Jack and Barry hatch a plan to save the Gentleman's beautiful face? Will Tank like his chocolates? Stay tuned to the promo room this week to find out! And be sure to catch Gentleman Jack's OCW debut this Sunday on Unleashed!

[S.Abbott]

"and when you're finished you say oooh what a lovely tea party" is all I pictured about the taking him to the alley to knock him out..

[Versus]

Barry: Don't you think thats a little... you know... foo foo? Sending another guy flowers was one thing, but now chocolates?

 

Jack: It's 2016 Barry! I can send another man chocolates and it not be weird if I want to. Why do you think Martin Luther King marched Barry?

 

 

Had me dying. Well done.

[Bloom]

Jack: I'll start paying when you start actually passing state bar exams.

 

Barry: Touche.

 

 

I love little gems like this.