Versus

Probably the best in OCW by far.

*Submission is July 1st, not June. Jay hates the month of June so much, he ignores it's very existence.

2nd runner up!!

Sekkind!!!!

I don't know how you're balancing it. I assume H2O will have a horrid drinking/crack problem by the time he's late twenties, early thirties. Can't deal with all that shit and end up normal.

I'ma review this show - The review. Riot opens up with the greatest interview segment in OCW history. Things happen, things are said. I don't know what else to say about this writer, except it's better than anything on any screen, ever. Next up, my man KD with a dark room/white-t message for a bunch of sissies. Cort, Ed, Ed, Ding...apparently, they're all going to walk away with broken necks and take a place in the garden. It's ok, I hear KD is a great greenskeeper. I've secretly been growing weed in his garden for years. I don't think he knows...I put on fake glasses and moustache on them, so they'll fit right in. Johnny got gifted a fucked up mug from Mugen...or...MUGen....get it? No? Didn't work? Well fuck you then. So, what the hell's an amber lamp? Waiter seems kinda chill for a woman choking on the floor, no? Like "Oh, look at that, chicks passed out...fuck it, here's your menus." I'm so lost...why is the waiter angry about dudes ordering donuts...is this a reference to a past RP? Sorry if I didn't get it. Although, I'm very impressed with your knowledge of the Italian language. H20...brah...I'm surprised you're not working the afternoon shift, giving handjobs for blow in some shithole strip club you got so many daddy issues. Fahhhhhk dude. Like the father son version of Ike and Tina...look it up you young assholes. Let me start off by saying Tibby's RP's are some of my absolute favorite to read. Even if it's as simple as a 2 paragraph rip on Pugh, it's still has these little nuances that only come with experience and talent. For instance the line about laughing better than you...just adds depth to the ego that is Kneesus. Back to donut pizza! Long story short, they got the info they were looking for...kinda and Johnny Law is a lego stealing piece of shit. Fun RP, I'm gonna have to go back a few shows, and catch up. Truth serum is always fun. Big Ed v. Austin Lee...or, as I like to call it, Opie v. Flash Gordon! Solid back and forth, but it seems like once Big Ed got a head of steam, he was unstoppable, only took like 4 grapples to get him orange. I guess it helps to be a giant biker with a beard shaped by the gods themselves. Dimsmore, the Ace! He ain't happy with you painty face! Not one bit. Savage Lands teaser...Savage Lands: Land of the savages! More RP'ing from the mind and fingertips of a swell guy. Debbie just green misting bitches for no reason. Bro...can H2O get some f'n stability in his life? This episode should be called "H2O's a toilet for everyone he cares about". Shit! Ed....just...4 lines, and one of them was "Big Jap Titties". Elegant. Ohhhh Anna...smokin in the girls room. I like your style. ...did H20 just caw like a fucking eagle? I find it funny that neither H20 or Baker seemed to allow the other person to get ground moves or anything on Blek. It's like they're fighting to be his BFF. "I'll save you!" Reminder, BFF attack plans never work out. She speaks! Drago's dome ain't right. BUUUUUUUTTT...really, who in OCW's is right?! Except Madison...her dome is on point. (Get it?) Dims getting dropped head first onto a monitor outside the ring was a cool looking spot...not for Dims, but to watch as an unbiased viewer. Missed divebomb and the tantrum in the ring looked great as well. Scaggs is right, this shit's just plain unsafe. AHAAHAH! Chair shot from behind, and Mugens head bounces off all 3 turnbuckles on the way down, hahaa. Solid match, definitely concussed peoples in there tho.

How I picture Cort. http://i.lvme.me/2ioosox.jpg ...and I like it!

Not dead.

Had to look deep into the archives for this one: http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d103/JDVS/sbomber.jpg

You gon' have a herrrt attack.

12 years...holy crap. OCW's only 2 years younger than Baker. Glad to be a bit of a cornerstone, and hopefully keep the smiles coming. It's about giving back. Also, I still can't believe Nate was only like 15 when I started talking with him. I'm pretty sure he's Benjamin Buttons, or he's really like 42. Also, Cookies BRUH!!

I think that if you plan on using Twitch, it's probably best to immediately check your video manager to make sure that the match was capped, and is around the amount of time you expected. That's what I plan on doing, besides maybe getting a cap card, or having Dennis over for tea and scrumpets so he can show me how to do all the mumbo jumbo he just said.

That's great to know, ahead of time. If you told me after, I would have been really mad at you from my coffin.

Hahahaah. That intro had me fired up, I'm about ready to go start a fight with the cops. All of them at once. Should end well.

Yeah, I'm bumpin my own shit. Can't let the leaf cover the golden temple, ya know?

Scene opens to an empty dusty old gym, sunlight shining in through the withered window panes are captured in the dust particles. Old photos of wrestlers that time's forgot, war veterans and group shots of friends in good times line the walls. The doors swing open and make a heavy thud against the wall as Bubba walks in first, closely followed by Versus and Drago. Drago: Why you bring big small titantron with you to wrestle? Versus: They call it an iPad, it's new to me too. I like to have some background noise when I'm studying, you know? Drago No. Versus: Right...military...so do you have wifi in this place? Drago: Wi...fi? Versus: Riiiiiight...let's see here... Versus scrolls through available wifi networks, and finds the strongest signal. Versus: Hmmm...I guess there's more than one benefit to having that strip club next to your gym. Drago: Distractions. That's why I put in dusty windows. Versus: You're a weird dude man. Ok...old westerns, SNL, Home Alone...here we go, I'll just play this 80's tv station aaannnnnnd, (hits play) let's do this. Drago: Why you don't want to use Dime Bag again? Versus: I come too original to share something as important as a finishing move with anyone else. So, when I saw that Parker was using the "Truth Siren", and everyone referring to a move that I made famous as something other than the Dime Bag Drop, then it's time for me to zag. Ya know? Drago: I respect. So what you thinking? Versus: Well, for one of em, I kinda want a flippy thing. Drago: What you mean, flippy thing? Versus: Something that looks flippy, but isn't really super flippy, like...something that someone my age can do. Drago: Still don't understand flippy. Versus: Like Dennis's moves, but not as fast, fluid, crisp or nice looking, but will cause a lot of pain. Drago: Hurricanrana? Versus: Basic. Drago: Reverse hurricanrana? Versus: Interesting...show me. Drago and Versus go into the ring, Drago steps behind Versus leaps up, grabs Versus head with his legs/feet and flips Versus backwards and directly onto the top of his head. Versus: Holy hell dude!! Me no think Him head to bounce off ground like that?! Drago: I did not do full strength. You like? Versus: Ugh....I'll let you know when my head stops pounding. As Versus is rubbing his temples to lose the pounding in his head, Drago looks over at Versus' iPad and a television show is showing two well dressed men, driving a fancy fast boat across the front of the Miami skyline. Drago, seemingly in a trance, takes a few steps over to the iPad. Drago: What is this? Who are these men? Versus: Huh? Versus gets up, walks over, grabs the iPad to take a closer look and shares the screen with Drago. Versus: That, my friend, that is James Crockett and Ricardo Tubbs. Or as known to the rest of the free world, Miami Vice. Drago: They are police? Versus: Kinda. They kind of instill their own brand of bad ass justice when called for, and the ladies love em. Drago: They dress like kings, but they fight like warriors. You will teach me more of this Miami Vice when we finish training? Versus: Sure man, I have a membership to Hulu now so we can binge watch the hell out of that show later. Drago: No, I wish to experience this. You will be Tubbs. Versus: Wait...what? Drago: Yes. You, Bubba and myself will get fancy suits with pastel shirt, solve crimes in Miami on our days off. Versus: Don't forget cool shades. Drago: Yes, shades that are cool. We will need those. Versus: Ok, when do you want to do it? Drago: Next day off. Versus looks at his schedule, and notices he is pretty booked up for the next week and a half. He purses his lips and thinks for a minute. Versus: Ok, so I can't do it, but, I have a feeling I know someone who would be down for something like that and is kind of a closet Vice fan. Versus grabs his phone and dials a number and puts it on speaker phone. The phone rings and someone picks up on the other end but doesn't speak. Versus: My man!! How we doin today KD? KD: Aight. Versus: So I'm here with Drago.... Drago: Hi KD!! KD: Drago. Versus: If you have any pertinent plans in the next couple weeks tell me now before I get you so psyched that you can't control your excitement. KD: Nah. Versus: Perfect! So, our man here just got himself hooked on Miami freaking Vice. Silence Versus: I know right?! So, he said he wanted to head down to Miami and kinda roll out his own Miami Vicey type of justice and all he needs is his Tubbs! So wadddya say big guy? Perfect weather, perfect women, get to wear sweet suits, chase criminals...what's not to love right?! KD: Ray-Ban's? Versus: Hell yea man. KD: I'm in. Versus: Awesome, I'll have Ed shoot over the travel itinterary and stuff soon. You psyched guys?! Real life Miami Vice! Drago: I'm excited. KD, I look forward to fighting the crimes with you soon. KD: Later. KD hangs up the phone, and Versus looks over at Drago with a big smile. Versus: Great, great stuff. So, now that the throbbing is gone from my head, let's talk bout these moves. I had an idea for a quick, impactful finisher that has zero flippy in it. Versus and Drago step back into the ring and Versus puts Drago into a headlock as the scene fades out to the soothing sounds of the Miami Vice theme song.

Lot's of "honey's" being tossed around. Is this a thing?

Can we make a rule that if a promo is submitted in the promo room, that takes place in an arena, unless it's noted that it's completely empty, that I get to change the promo and make it take place in a laundromat with just one old woman in there slowly folding her bloomers and catching some of her soap operas. Please?

*fixed.

I love that I can hear Kent try to hold in hits when he's trying to talk. Ja bless you.

That's on me. My bad guys. I'll make it up to you by Photoshopping Jays face on something real soon.

....annnnnd scene!! Onto the show. Which I will review in more depth, but the line of the night (to me) has to be Mugen explaining how he's and Baker's dad. Baker: MOM?! DAD?! But but how? You two.....are.....Asian. And I'm white!!!!! Mugen: Son, with the power of magic, Disney and miracles, everything is possible. Killing me with that shit.

Show graphic like a boss.

The camera man is walking across a large front lawn, following arrows staked into the ground that have "Dis way yous guys" written on them. Some just have a smiley face. As the camera man turns the corner, he see's a ridiculously large bouncy house (complete with fake blow up palm trees attached in the front), behind a large white pvc fence. On that fence a banner is hung that reads "Welcome Revolutionaries". As you walk through the door, you see Versus wearing an apron that looks like a woman's body in a french maid's outfit printed on the front. Nate can be seen helping Ed bring out a cooler full of adult beverages, followed by KD carrying a cooler a bit larger than that one, by himself, out of the house. Everyone's banged up, bruised and still tired from the night of chaos that was Summercide. Dennis, leaning back in a lawn chair, tossing a football in the air to himself, Sophia's face still bruised, which Madison is incessantly trying to help cover up using makeup, but Sophia gently swats away each attempt telling her no, turning her head from side to side to avoid Madison’s makeup sponge. Ed tosses KD a beer, and Versus throws a lot of meat on the grill, as he turns around, looks at the crew. He notices that everyone's kind of doing their own thing. Versus: Who wants a burger, and who wants a T-Bone? KD, no need to say anything, I already got 4 of each grillin up for ya. Nobody really moves, or reacts, except KD. KD smiles, because...well...steak. Versus: Really? This is how Rev Inc is gonna hold it down? Suicide Squatters out there getting tatted up, bonding, and what, you guys can't tell me if you want a burger? Sophia: Mad- Mad- Madison!! Stoppppp! Sophia grabs Madison's wrists to get her to stop for a minute, and as they struggle she looks over her shoulder to call out to Versus. Sophia: Yeah I'll have a burgah!- er.. burger. Dennis: You gonna be there to take it off the grill and serve it to us, or are we gonna fend for ourselves. Versus pinches the upper bridge of his nose and breathes deeply. Versus: Madison, have you let the boy watch all of Summercide, or just his own match? Madison: Well I mean… I've had his match playing on loop...is that bad? Nate: Well, it explains his outburst on Turmoil. Dennis perks up a little bit, and looks at Versus and Nate curiously. Dennis: What do you mean? Versus: Well, while Carnage was getting ravaged by the Squatters, we had our own issues. Sophia was still getting bandaged up after the chlamydia crew took a beating to her. KD had a vending machine laying on top of him, and not because he couldn't get his SunChips. KD: Mmmhmmm. Versus: ...and Nate and I we got a surprise visit from like 20 skull kids. I personally had 2 of my best bongs kiss the side of my skull, and of course, I took it like a champ! Nate: You got knocked unconscious. Versus: Yeah...yeah I did. So yeah, while you were out there fending for yourself, we already had some surprise visits as well...and, well, the numbers got the best of all of us that night. Dennis takes a deep breath and looks to the sky, and shakes his head a bit. Dennis: No idea...I had no idea. I'm sorry I called you guys out like that, I'm not used to having people covering my back. Madison makes a frowny face :( Versus: If it wasn't for that damn consciousness thing, we woulda been there! Dennis: I know. Versus: Speaking of which...KD how'd you even get out from under that thing? KD: Garden Salsa Sun Chips. Sophia: What? KD: Ate em all, then pushed the sissy vending machine into the next room. Versus: That's gotta account for like a half a pound. Did you NEED to eat them? KD: Garden...Salsa... Sophia and some of the gang look to each other and nod in agreement. Someone tosses out the notion that Bill Ding would be proud. Nate: Nuff said. So look, we need to have a plan, and Versus and I we've been piecing one together. Versus takes out his V-Vaporizer (copyright Versus 2016) and starts to smoke it like a pipe...the kind smart people use when they're about to say something mindblowing. (Wait for it… Waiiit forrrr iiiiit…) Versus: Yes. Yes we have. Everyone just stares at Versus waiting for him to say whatever's next. (Cue awkward silence) Sophia: AND?!?! Versus: Oh, right, yeah, I got a bouncy house. Group: WHAT?! Versus: Yeah, biggest one in Massachusetts and it comes with a volcano!! It's not active, but...it's probably for the better, I don't have much luck with active volcanos. AND it has palm trees, no coconuts though… safety haza- Sophia: NO, about the plan! What's next? Versus: Oh! Just cover each others back, that's what's next. Nobody goes it alone from here on out, I have a feeling stuffs about to get crazy. So in the meantime, you let your good buddy Versus handle a few things. You'll see what we got planned, and as long as nobody breaks any more of my bongs, then the plan will go along smoothly. Madison: What happens if someone breaks one of your bongs? Versus: You really want to know? I'm going to get my knife, and my lighter, find whoever did it, and ask them politely to pay for it. If they choose not to, I'll simply go buy a new one...but I WON'T be happy about it. Nate: That's it? Then, why the knife? Versus: Gotta get the bubble wrap off. Now... Ed's gonna man the grill, let's have a toast. (all members hold their beers/glasses up)To Dennis dawning the OCW2k17 cover, and looking damn mean doing it. Dennis: To Rev Inc starting fresh! Nate: To....KD's running...he's running...he's running...aaand he's in the bouncy house. Everyone in Rev Inc is shocked by KD jumping around (emotionless) in the bouncy house. Nate: Reinforced? Versus: Yeah, they used the same stuff in the thing that caught that guy that jumped out of an airplane with no parachute. Nate: Smart. Scene closes with Sophia making her way into the bouncy house, with Madison not far behind, still harrassing her with the makeup sponge. Nate, Versus and Dennis are hanging by the grill chatting and KD...well...KD's having himself a good ol time in the bouncy house.