Previously Recorded

 

Our scene opens open a high school football field in Anywhere USA on a crisp fall morning. We see Gentleman Jack and Dennis Black, both decked out in their finest suburban wear, including Oxford shirts, cardigans, khakis, and wearing Croakies around their necks interacting with a group of underprivileged inner city youth. As Dennis throws a perfect, tight, spiral downfield to an urban youth, Jack looks into the camera.

 

Jack: Oh hi! I didn't see you there! You know, a lot of people have the wrong idea about Turmoil. You see, we're a non violent form of family entertainment.

 

Just as Jack finishes his sentence, we see The Butcher run from off screen and spear the poor child reaching out for Dennis's pass. The scene cuts to the sideline where Madison is dressed as a slutty cheerleader.

 

Madison: We never use sex to sell our product.

 

The scene cuts to an even more scantily clad Casey Paine grinding on a handful of the children's fathers in the stands. The camera then cuts to Seb Abbott coaching another group of children downfield.

 

Seb: As athletes, we understand that the youth of this great nation looks up to us.

 

Seb takes out a small baggie of cocaine, dips his key in, and takes a little bump as the children look on in wonder. The scene then cuts to Leon Valentine and a group of children huddled around a burning pentagram at the 50 yard line.

 

Leon: We're good, wholesome, family entertainment.

 

Leon begins to call to the dark lords of the underworld with the group of very confused children as we hear the random screams of goat. The camera then cuts to Dustin White smoking a cigarette by the concession stands.

 

Dustin: Whoa! I'm in a commercial! Sooooo cool!

 

The camera holds on Dustin.

 

Dustin: Yeah!

 

Camera still holds on Dustin.

 

Dustin: What?

 

Camera still holds.

 

Dustin: Why aren't we cutting?

 

Camera still holds.

 

Dustin: What's going on man?!?!?!?!

 

The camera still holds as Dustin just begins to dance nervously.

 

Dustin: Make it stop!

 

Camera holds.

Dustin: Please!!!!!!!!

 

The camera still holds as Dustin to begins to sob and slowly remove his shirt.

 

Dustin: Is this what you want?!?! You animals!

 

Dustin continues to sob and strip.

 

Dustin: I don't like it here anymore....

 

The camera finally cuts to a spunky Sophia, wearing soccer gear and leading a group of young girls through exercises.

 

Sophia: We're just trying to make the world a little better!

 

One of the girls runs up to Sophia.

 

Little Girl: I think I just got my first period.

 

Sophia: Cut! I'm out!

 

Sophia walks away, leaving the girl in tears as the camera cuts one more time to current Turmoil World Champion Dennis Black holding a football and smiling.

 

Dennis: Turmoil, pass it on!

 

Dennis smiles directly into the camera, his front tooth glimmering thanks to a shitty special effect. He tosses another perfect spiral but its intercepted by Wrex who grabs the ball mid air, immediately chucks it violently at the nearest child, pulls a lead pipe from god knows where and begins to savagely chase the children around the field, screaming anti-catholic remarks at the top of his lungs.

Sweet Jesus...

THIS ISSSS TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRMOI?

 

goodlord.

http://omgwut.xyz/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/62.jpg

 

Pass it on

Racist whore

Where the hell is Jackson in this debacle? I AM MR. USA, MR. AMERICA, MR. EVERY MAN!

I knew Madison was an Ex-Cowboys cheerleader

Captain.