http://i.imgur.com/UaD494o.jpg

 

http://i.imgur.com/xwDdZ2b.jpg

 

http://i.imgur.com/Crxez0C.jpg

 

Sabre: A long time ago, kings and rulers of lands would always have their best warriors upfront and face to face with the enemy.

Everything has changed, the kings and warriors are now one in the same, the most prestigous is laying dormant waiting for that perfect moment.

 

*Sabre tuts and shakes his head*

 

Sabre: Kingdoms? They are to be conquered, and the promise i will make, is that anybody AND everybody will be lay to ruin, to get to the top. There, I will show the OCW universe the true meaning of infinite.

 

I am Sabre, and afterlife awaits you.

 

*Sabre turn his back to the camera and rolls his head around his shoulders*

 

Sabre: It has taken me over a decade to ascend to the level that I am capable of, and I know the veterans in the back will be looking at me with some caution, because wether they like to admit it or not... There time is already up.

 

The long standing walls will crumble, and in my name they will know their true enemy. For I am, greater than infinity and infamy, and the future of this kingdom.

 

*Sabre smirks at the camera as it fades to black*

It's not bad, it's simple and to the point. Don't make promises you can't deliver on though, if you say you'll beat everybody then lose your debut then you're a busted flush.

 

A few spelling errors but you've confirmed yourself as an "Angry Young Man" trope which is a safe starter I guess, just be wary about saying you'll vanquish everyone in your way, you said it without really saying it.

Cheers Jacob. Which spellings mistakes sorry? I didnt want to go on too long with my first promo, and although its not possible to vanquish everyone. I can promo a loss quite easily in the future i think.

 

Thanks for the feedback though.

Just a couple of errant words, their/there if you look closely.

 

So why are you called Sabre? Are we getting that in a RIOT promo?

Just a couple of errant words, their/there if you look closely.

 

So why are you called Sabre? Are we getting that in a RIOT promo?

Tbh, the name Sabre doesnt have a lot of backstory. Maybe 5 to 6 years ago I was in a fed called XCW under the name Sabre Hart (a relative to the hart dynasty) ever since he's kinda just gonna by the name Sabre...I don't really think explaining a name is always necessary. In some situations it works though, Mankind is a great example of working a name into a promo.

 

There is more to come though, so lets wait and see what else unfolds. =)

My critique echos what trance said. Don’t make promises that you cannot keep right off the bat. But at the same, I do appreciate confidence in rookies. Ocw dislikes confidence in rookies for the most part. You’re expected to keep your head down and eat shit, which is not a philosophy I subscribe to. So I mean, if you intend to go the route of a world beater you will need to back it up in game and in your writing for sure.

I'll keep your points in mind. =) thank you.

My critique echos what trance said. Don’t make promises that you cannot keep right off the bat. But at the same, I do appreciate confidence in rookies. Ocw dislikes confidence in rookies for the most part. You’re expected to keep your head down and eat shit, which is not a philosophy I subscribe to. So I mean, if you intend to go the route of a world beater you will need to back it up in game and in your writing for sure.

 

That's false. 110%

 

The problem with 100% confidence I won't lose happens when you fight a jabrone your first match and die. UNBEATABLE MATSUDA jobs hard in first match or this under dude who was 1000% Undertaker and got single yellowed by a 5ft guy with a tiger tail, who then shortly flaked cuz he was embarrassed.

 

It's better to be malleable, so a W or an L doesn't matter. And as you develop be more confident since you can adequately back it up in the ring.

Thanks for the feedback Mr Sensation. I'm not worried about winning or losing, aslong as i'm taking part. =) ...obvs nice to always win though!